News
A COCOA-PHONY OF LINKS!
Happy National Chocolate Covered Anything Day! This is normally when I would say something along the lines of "hey, something we can all get behind," but the reality of the matter is that a.) not everyone can enjoy chocolate due to either allergies or having dysfunctional taste buds, and b.) some foods just should not be covered in chocolate. In fact, scratch that — MOST foods should not be covered in chocolate. (I just know some smart aleck is going to reply to this ranting about chocolate-covered bacon or some such nonsense. Please — spare me your cockamamie cocoa concoctions.)
Jim doesn't want your chocolatey tomfoolery, either.
Now, do I have links? Of course I do. But you can't have your links until you've had your cake! We have a LOT of notable birthdays today, so put on your sweatpants...
• Happy birthday to the woman, the myth, the legend...Jane Austen, born this day in 1775! Ms. Austen's use of irony, humor, realism, and commentary on the landed gentry of late 18th century England has long been acclaimed in both critical circles and popular culture.
• Next, с днем рождения to painter and art theorist Wassily Kandinsky, born this day in 1866! Mr. Kandinsky has generally been credited as the pioneer of abstract art and the expressionist movement. Ah, so HE'S to blame...
• Cut a monolith-sized piece for futurist and science fiction writer Arthur C. Clarke, born this day in 1917! Along with Robert Heinlein and Isaac Asimov, Mr. Clarke is informally regarded as one of the "Big Three" sci-fi writers of the 20th century, thanks to his short-form work in periodicals and his Space Odyssey series of novels.
• Today is also the birthday of another science fiction luminary, Philip K. Dick, born this day in 1928! His works dealt with questions of perception, the nature of reality, identity, and human nature. Key films based on his works: Blade Runner, Total Recall, A Scanner Darkly, The Adjustment Bureau, Minority Report, and recent streaming hit The Man In The High Castle.
• Cut a sharp-dressed slice for Moving Sidewalks and ZZ Top guitarist Billy Gibbons, born this day in 1949! Fun fact: the only member of ZZ Top to not rock an actual beard is drummer Frank...wait for it...Beard.
OK, OK...you've waited long enough. It's link time!
1. Artist Daniel Horine reimagines baseball players as superheroes, and I am HERE FOR IT.
Meredith can complain all she wants about my incessant attempts to shoehorn baseball and other sports-related ephemera into these emails, but I think even she would acknowledge that these limited edition comic book-inspired prints are pretty cool...even if she is most definitely NOT a "fanatic of the B-word."
2. Is this classic Sesame Street song parody from 1985 new?
No, it's not. But when it involves "Billy Idle" singing 'Rebel L' about the letter 'L', you could say that it's...vital.
Don't feed them cookies, whatever you do.
Not really, though, because scrolling his site is probably the most edifying thing you can do today (unless your job entails developing a single-dose airborne vaccine for Covid and/or stupidity).
Seriously — this neighbor has WAY too much time on her hands.
Boredwalk Community: Cheez Its in Bed & Cat Pictures
1. What's your actual day job and what's your dream day job?
Eileen:
Real job: ELA teacher, grade 7
Dream job: Level 4 Biohazard Virologist
Nicole:
Real job: ELA teacher, grade 8
Dream job: Lead singer of an all-girl punk band that actually makes money (and I will sell out to WHOEVER will pay me).
2. What's your biggest pet peeve?
Eileen: People that start with Episode 1 of Star Wars.
Nicole: People who hijack conversations (especially if they started SW with Episode I).
3. What's a book you think the Boredwalk community should read?
Eileen: Dear Edward by Ann Napolitano
Nicole: I'm gonna be honest — I pretty much only look at cat pictures on the internet currently. Anything by David Sedaris.
4. What's the most useful piece of advice you've ever received?
Eileen: All advice from Nicole.
Nicole: All advice from Eileen. Mostly that we are great and better than most people.
5. What experience do you most want to cross off your bucket list?
Eileen: ALASKA!
Nicole: My band playing a big venue packed with people that want to see us play.
6. If you could have any super power what would it be and why?
Eileen: The power to make people really listen. Plus flying.
Nicole: The power to make anyone think that I have a cute outfit on even when I don't.
7. You can curse your nemesis with a minor annoyance for eternity; what do you choose?
Eileen: Diarrhea on my command.
Nicole: That their ice cream falls off the top of their cone FOREVER.
8. If you drink: what's your go-to drink? If you don't drink: what's your go-to dessert or snack?
Eileen:
Drink - Pinot Noir
Snacks - Cheez Its (preferably in bed), nacho cheese Combos
Nicole:
Drink - Cucumber voddie on the rocks
Snacks - Buffalo blue cheese Combos, Ruffles sour cream & onion potato chips
9. Clear up a misconception (about your job, where you are from, some other topic you know a lot about).
BOTH OF US: USE THE COMMA and APOSTROPHE CORRECTLY PLEASE, also stop "quoting" things that "do not" need quotation marks.
Eileen: Polar bears and penguins do not mingle. People think they DO mingle BUT THEY DON'T. Polar bears are arctic. Penguins are antarctic.
Nicole: Teachers do not live in the basement of the school building, and the best holiday gift I ever got from a parent was a gift card from a liquor store in a thank you card that said "thank you for teaching my kid".
10. Where can the rest of the Boredwalk community find you?
Eileen: Nah
Nicole: Buckle in -
My band, Hot Cousin, can be found on Insta and Facebook.
My dogs: @davidleerothdog and @irasaysshalom.
My creative side: @murderflowerdesigns.
Both of us together: @ThePunktuators.
Nicole speaking here - I've been teaching with Eileen for like 16 years and she truly makes this crazy and incredibly difficult job doable. Without her - I would never have made it this far.
LOOKIN' FOR LOVE IN ALL THE INFERNAL PLACES.
It's Matt! Meredith filled in ably over the last week while I worked on some new art (which will be unveiled in just two days' time), but she's next to me on the couch right now cracking wise on Twitter. So I'm back where I belong: in the driver's seat of Boredwalk emails!
Without further ado, happy National Pastry Day! Whether you plan to celebrate with a croissant, a profiterole, some baklava, an empanada, or a slice of apple pie, treat yo'self!
Before we get to the links, let's all enjoy some cake!
• First up, pip pip cheerio to poet John Milton, born this day in 1608! Milton's best-known work is the epic blank verse poem about the Fall of Man following the temptation of Lucifer in the Garden of Eden, Paradise Lost.
• Next, happy birthday to pioneering computer scientist and US Navy Rear Admiral Grace Hopper, born this day in 1906! Ms. Hopper was the first to devise machine-independent programming languages, and the FLOW-MATIC programming language she invented is still in use today in the form of COBOL. She posthumously received the Presidential Medal of Freedom from Barack Obama in 2016.
• Finally, cut a corner piece for these acclaimed performers of stage and screen: Kirk Douglas (1916), Red Foxx (1922), Dame Judi Dench (1934), and John Malkovich (1953).
OK, OK...you've waited long enough. It's link time!
1. Need a jolt of wholesome wonder? Spend a little time visiting Your Korean Dad!
From what I can glean from his Instagram profile, Nick Cho is a coffee connoisseur by day and a delightfully jovial purveyor of "dad" humor on TikTok by night. This video of him eating bougie grapes is probably my favorite video of his so far.
2. What if I told you that mushrooms can save the world?
OK, now what if I told you that it can do it in a variety of fascinating ways? Would that interest you? It sure interested me! Is this blog post from three years ago? Yes! Does that make its content less relevant or compelling now than it was then? No!
I thought I was OK at marketing. Then stupid handsome Ryan Reynolds comes along and drops this. *sigh*
4. These pets LOVE being dressed up in Christmas costumes. No, really!
Just kidding! They really, really, don't.
I can't quit you, Bill.