News
Time to disappoint someone! 😞
Nearly a full week into 2023 and I'm back on my bullsh!t already, and by that I mean second guessing my decision-making, imagining ways I will fail someone, and so on. Every time I sit down to write an email or Tweet, or release a new product, I can't help but imagine what unprovoked wrath from a stranger my latest offering might inspire. Does this sound like a villain origin story? I think this is how I end up in my villain era. Stay tuned!
😵 You're getting very sleepy...
Today is also National Trivia Day, so here's some quick trivia about hypnosis!
1. The origin of hypnosis in the Western world goes back to 1770, which is when German physician Franz Mesmer started using it on patients in Vienna and Paris, when other medical practitioners took an interest they started call it "mesmerism"
🎉 New year, new meh 😏
IT'S A BRAND NEW YEAR FULL OF TREACHERY — GET READY TO BE MENACED!
I hope your 2023 is off to an acceptable start. Did you make any resolutions? I did not, because I have enough failure in my life without bringing in arbitrary promises I know I won't keep based on the human construct that is the calendar. I just survived several weeks of Christmas music and holiday parties; the only thing I am resolving to do is lean into my hermit-like ways for the next few weeks. This dovetails nicely with today being World Introvert Day.
📅 The end is nigh!
Reality seems to be going for a real concept album with the 2020s, so I'm headed into '23 with very low expectations. So far this decade's highlights include plague, war, inflation, and hearing entirely too much about Elon Musk. Whatcha got for us, '23? Robot uprising?* Alien invasion? Whatever it is, it can't be good.
😒 I think I'm gonna sit this hand out...
I don't really know any card games, but one time Boredwalk co-founder Matt did try to teach me how to play poker. He used candy (Runts, to be precise) for the stake instead of money, so naturally I just kept eating all of the candy instead of betting it, and this is how I lost and was promptly ejected from the only game of poker I have ever played. Don't take me to Vegas, I am not fun to gamble with. (And I might eat your poker chips. They're made of salty potatoes, right?)
🎊 Huzzah — we made it! 🎉
First things first: if you have called, emailed, DMed, or snail mailed something to us in the last few days with no acknowledgment or response, I'm sorry! At Boredwalk we work insanely long, hard hours from mid-November through late-December and need time off to recover and spend time with family and friends. We'll be back in action tomorrow, but are closed today in observance of the holiday weekend. I promise we're not slacking — largely by pointing out that I am writing to you from ≈ 9:30pm on Christmas Night. That bit of housekeeping out of the way...
🥳 The big day is here!
As the author of the Grievance Journal, I am sure you can imagine that a holiday for airing grievances is near and dear to my heart. There are so many people today could be dedicated to — vendors who I paid to do jobs who ghosted me (forcing me to file disputes with the bank to get refunds), customers who were so mean to our customer service department that our operations manager felt compelled to cancel their orders so we no longer had to talk to them, people who litter, etc. My rogues gallery is more extensive than an X-Men comic, but today's rant goes out to our haters.
Ready to get cross? 🤬
On this day in 1913 NY World printed the first crossword puzzle with 32 clues. Readers loved it and newspapers have been printing crossword puzzles ever since.
🎶 Do you have the time? ⏰
It's National Emo Day, so don your skinny jeans and tight tees and queue up some Saves the Day or Sunny Day Real Estate or something to that Reggie & The Full Effect.
🎶 It's the most nerve-wracking time of the year! 😰
Well, it's that time of year again. The time of year when procrastinators flood the inbox of every retailer, big and small, frantically asking the question "if I order this today, will it get here in time for [insert gift-giving holiday of choice here]?"
🤢 This email stinks! (Better open it to find out why...
Today happens to be National Bouillabaisse Day, which is just a fancy French way of saying "fish stew." Given the English translation's relatively ... uninspiring ... connotation, I can understand the desire to gussy this dish's name up with superfluous vowels & consonants. Brevity is the soul of wit, francophones! I guess Hamlet never made it across the channel. Or it did, and you were too busy overcomplicating food to notice.*
The true reason for the season 🎄
I know the festive holiday sweater crowd is ready to celebrate the 12 days of Christmas, but we know the real reason for the season: airing grievances!