JUST FIX YOUR HOME PLANET AND STAY THERE!
Happy National Invasive Species Awareness Day! Fun fact: every species on this miserable mudball is already acutely aware of the most invasive species of all EXCEPT for the one that is doing the invading! Three guesses as to which one I'm referring to, but I have hunch you'll only need one.
Thank goodness brilliant walking talking viral loads Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos are hard at work trying to export the carbon-based cancer that is humanity off-world. It's like they're trying to answer a question no one asked: "What if we took the universe but made it, y'know, significantly worse?"
This guy knows what I'm talking about:
Sure, he was a rogue computer program, but was Mr. Smith actually wrong? I think not.
GIF via The Matrix / Warner Bros. Pictures
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We FINALLY have a fun new customer Q&A down below from Julie L., but before we get to that, let's take note of some significant historical happenings and birthdays & deathdays from February 26ths of yore:
• In 1616 astronomer Galileo Galilei was formally banned by the Roman Catholic Church from teaching or defending heliocentrism (the view that Earth orbits the Sun). At the time it was believed that all celestial bodies orbited Earth. Typical Main Character Syndrome, even in the 17th century.
• In 1919 Grand Canyon National Park was established
• Ten years later in 1929 Grand Teton National Park in Wyoming followed suit
• Birthday cake all around for: French author, poet, and playwright Victor Hugo of The Hunchback of Notre-Dame and Les Misérables fame (1802), German-American fashion designer Levi Strauss (1829), soldier & hunter William "Buffalo Bill" Cody (1846), surgeon and cereal enthusiast John Harvey Kellogg of corn flake fame (1852), singer-songwriter & pianist Fats Domino (1928), singer-songwriter & guitarist Johnny Cash (1932), singer-songwriter Mitch Ryder (1945), singer and psychotherapist Sandie Shaw of "(There's) Always Something There to Remind Me" fame (1947), singer-songwriter Michael Bolton (1953), Rage Against The Machine & Audioslave bassist Tim Commerford (1968), singer-songwriter, producer, and actress Erykah Badu (1971), and Swedish-American record producer & songwriter Max Martin (1971)
• Pour one out for: Comedy legend Bill Hicks (d. 1994)
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OK, scroll on down to learn a bit about fellow Boredwalk fan & customer Julie! If you're feeling even moderately outgoing and would like to be featured in an upcoming Monday email (and are a customer with some Boredwalk tees, tanks, hoodies, towels, bags, books, or Delve Decks to show off), just reply to this and let us know and we'll send you some fun questions!
We'll be back here in your inbox on Wednesday with some more random holidays to observe, historical tidbits to acknowledge, and fun links to entertaining content! Until next time...
Peace, love, and self-awareness,
Matt
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Julie looking well-read in her Ban The Fascists Save The Books tee!
1. What's your actual day job and what's your dream day job?
"Darling, I have no dream job, I do not dream of labor!" 😉
(Editor's note: Fair point.)
2. What's your biggest pet peeve?
Slow drivers in the fast lane— keep up or get out of the way!
3. What's a book you think the Boredwalk community should read?
I've been recommending Legends and Lattes a lot recently— If you're a fan of T.J. Klune, you'll probably enjoy this!
4. If you could have any super power what would it be and why?
The ability to manipulate probability. For example: likelihood that I win the mega-millions lottery? 100%, likelihood of stepping in fox poo when I walk my dog in the dark at 5AM? 0%
(Editor's note: This is one of the most creative and unique answers to this question we've ever received. Well done! Not too many Longshot references out there.)
5. You can curse your nemesis with a minor annoyance for eternity; what do you choose?
He would get shocked every time he touched something. Just a constant overload of static electricity.
(Editor's note: Interesting that you went with male pronouns specifically here...)
6. If you could make a mundane wish (meaning, a wish for something seemingly inconsequential that you still believe would benefit you immensely), what would it be for?
I wish foxes didn't poo on sidewalks in areas where there are no streetlights.
(Editor's note: Awfully demanding for an invasive species, but OK.) 🤣
7. What experience do you most want to cross off your bucket list?
I would love to be able to visit every country in the world.
8. What is something you wish you could go back in time and say to your younger self?
I beg you, do not perm your hair! 😩
9. Clear up a misconception (about your job, where you are from, some other topic you know a lot about).
Corsets: the vast majority of women did not tight lace their corsets, and they would very often add padding to the bust and hip areas in order to achieve the popular silhouette at the time. Also, MEN wore corsets too!
10. Where can the rest of the Boredwalk community find you?
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