BAD LUCK IS A GIVEN!

It's National Open an Umbrella Indoors Day, and the occasion description says we should all try opening umbrellas indoors today to prove bad luck isn't real. I don't need to open an umbrella indoors to know if bad luck is real, I already know it's real because *gestures at everything*.

I will also not be celebrating "Smart and Sexy Day," which is repulsively described as a day to "celebrate the skills, quick-wit, and ingenuity of magnificent women in their various career fields." In the words of me...

Me giving career and fashion advice

I guess National Good Samaritan Day and National Coconut Torte Day can hang. I will spare good Samaritans and cake from the wrath of my corvid mob.

Here are a few March 13th historical facts & famous birthdays for you to impress your friends with:

• That patent for earmuffs was issued on this day in 1877. Mid-March seems a tad bit late for this engineering marvel's unveiling, but I suppose then-19 year old Chester Greenwood needed to test his "Champion Ear Protectors" over the course of the preceding winter before he felt they were ready for prime time.

• The planet Uranus was discovered on this day in 1781 by astronomer William Herschel, much to the delight of tween boys everywhere [insert Beavis & Butthead "heh-heh" here].

• Canadian reggae rapper Snow's single "Informer" became a number 1 hit on this day in 1993, much to the chagrin of the tween boy version of my co-founder, who has been taunted about it ever since, due to having the last name Snow (no they are not related).

• Birthday tortes all around for: singer-songwriter Neil Sedaka (1939), actor William H. Macy (1950), musician Greg Norton of Hüsker Dü bass playing fame, musician Adam Clayton of U2 bass playing fame (1960), actress Annabeth Gish of SLC Punk! fame (1971), and rapper Common (1972)

• Pour one out for: Nursing student Breonna Taylor, who was murdered by police executing a no-knock warrant in pursuit of a suspected drug trafficker who didn't even live in her apartment building (d. 2020). #SayHerName

Alright, on to the amusing links!

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1. 🍷 Bottoms up, the end is nigh

Tess and Gabe from the Boredwalk content team discuss how they'd cope with the end times.

For more LOLs from our team be sure to follow us on our OG social accounts such as Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and/or Facebook.

2. ✈️️ Ma'am we're an A LA CARTE airline!

Nikki Howard perfectly lampoons the obnoxious experience that is modern air travel.

3. 🎨 This takes anatomical art to a new level

Watch Rachel Azzopardi Carbonese paint a human head from the inside out, a mesmerizing watch.

4.☀️ Weather comes at you fast here in California

Comedian Helen Shephard explains how seasons change fast here in the golden state.

5. 😆 How to stave off pix and plague

Colleen McCandless regales us with her adventures at ye olde apothecary.

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We'll be back here in your inbox on Friday with more nonsense holidays to dissect, more notable birthdays (and maybe even some notable deathdays!) to celebrate, and more witty content in general. Until then...

Peace, love, and coconut torte,

Meredith