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CLICK-CLACK PADDYWACK, GIVE A 'HOG A ROAD!
Happy National Candy Day! Shoutout to our Customer Service & Shipping Supervisor Marlene for going above & beyond last Friday in decorating Boredwalk HQ for Halloween, and even setting up fun activities and doling out sweet treats to the whole team! Meredith and I are STILL working our way through the mountain of Twizzlers and Skittles.
I'm writing this on Tuesday evening about 30 minutes before polls close on the east coast. Regardless of the outcome, I expect we will be dealing with a wine & chocolate cake hangover tomorrow (i.e., this) morning, so plenty of water and candy seems about right for today's recovery menu.
Speaking of cake, though...let's honor some birthday persons!
• First up, happy birthday to "Oklahoma's Favorite Son", humorist/actor/cowboy/newspaper columnist/social commentator William Penn Adair Rogers, born this day in 1879! Mr. Rogers was born and raised in Cherokee Nation, Indian Territory (now part of Oklahoma) and got his start doing rope tricks in vaudeville performances. He famously imbued humor in all facets of his professional life, and was widely quoted as saying "I am not a member of an organized political party. I am a Democrat." In 1928 he jokingly ran as the presidential candidate of the Anti-Bunk Party, which primarily involved him poking fun at other "serious" candidates in his weekly column in Life magazine.
• Next up, cut a piece for "the most trusted man in America", Walter Leland Cronkite, Jr., born this day in 1916! Mr. Cronkite was a broadcast journalist who anchored the CBS Evening News from 1962 - 1981, and was known for signing off his broadcasts with the catchphrase "and that's the way it is."
• Moving on, crane kick a slice for the karate kid himself, Ralph George Macchio, Jr., born this day in 1961! Mr. Macchio is best known for his portrayal of Daniel LaRusso in three Karate Kid films and the sequel streaming series Cobra Kai, but he's been acting since 1980 when he was cast as Jeremy Andretti in the sitcom Eight Is Enough.
• Alright, alright, alright! You know who won't be missing cake today? Twin birthday boys Sean John "Puff Daddy/Puffy/P. Diddy/Diddy" Combs and Matthew David McConaughey, both born this day in 1969! Mr. Combs is of course known as a producer, songwriter, rapper/singer, fashion mogul, and actor who also played a major role in exposing the world to Meredith and my favorite MC, Christopher "Notorious B.I.G." Wallace and arguably the greatest hip-hop album ever, Biggie's Ready To Die.
McConaughey is handsome, talented, weird, and a big fan of cannabis and nude bongos.
OK, link time!
I learned a lot about hedgehog infrastructure, about how much locals love the hedgehogs, and got further confirmation that hedgehogs are adorable.
2. This Twitter account captions photos of badass cats with black metal song lyrics, and it's AMAZING.
They are open to photo submissions, but please be prepared for your beloved Fluffy to get paired with sentiments like "We are gathered as many, but we shall ride as one. Go, and unleash hell." This is honestly the greatest thing I've seen in weeks.
Think the Grand Canyon is just "a very, very large hole" or that Olympic National Park "has no wow factor"? Then this link is for you.
4. Makeup artist Yuyumika does amazing work transforming herself into completely different people.
Don't believe me? Check her out at Johnny Depp.
Pairi Daiza is a zoological, botanical, and architectural garden that has been voted "best zoo in Europe" three years running, and with the creative ways in which the keepers keep the animals occupied, it's easy to see why!
In 1917 the National Woman Suffrage Publishing Co. put out a hilarious booklet titled This Little Book Contains Every Reason Why Women Should Not Vote. Curious as to the contents? Click the link to see!
Boredwalk Community: I'm a Faulknarian
1. What's your actual day job and what's your dream day job?
My actual job is in shipping and customer service.* My dream job would be to host my own TV show, though it would likely turn out like the movie Welcome to Me. I'd also like to be a writer for TV or even a director. (Ed. note: Marlene is being modest — she's the Customer Service & Shipping Supervisor here at Boredwalk, and chances are you may have exchanged emails with her over the last 14 months!)
2. What’s your biggest pet peeve?
I hate when people cut me off and then drive really slowly.
3. What’s the most useful piece of advice you’ve ever received?
I think my Dad's advice for work has served me well: "Show up on time every day and do the best you can."
4. If you could have any super power what would it be and why?
I think teleportation would be my top pick, but only if I could teleport people and objects with me.
5. You can curse your nemesis with a minor annoyance for eternity; what do you choose?
A vague but palpable feeling of unease that lingers forever. (So MY existence, then.)
6. What experience do you most want to cross off your bucket list?
Getting married and honeymooning! One is closer than the other...
7. If you drink: what’s your go-to drink?
I like a classic negroni (alcoholic) or a Monster energy drink (non-alcoholic).
8. What's a surprising fact about you?
I'm a Faulknarian (fan and scholar of William Faulkner's writing).
9. Where can the rest of the Boredwalk community find you?
You can find me at my lightly-used Instagram: @justmarmar.
THESE LINKS AREN'T GONNA CLICK THEMSELVES.
Happy National Chocolate Day! As if guided by a premonition that this day was almost upon us, Meredith ordered a bunch of sweet treats from our favorite purveyor of dairy-free chocolate confections that arrived at the office yesterday, and working our way through these delectable delights is one of the few sources of joy to be found around here as we plod inexorably on toward Election Day this coming Tuesday.
Election Day is a paid holiday here at Boredwalk, but we know that isn't the case everywhere — even though it should be — so if you haven't done so yet be sure to make a plan for how you'll let your voice be heard!
Today is ALSO National First Responders Day! If you are a first responder yourself, please pat yourself on the back for keeping the rest of us safe! If you know someone who is a first responder, be sure to let them know how much you appreciate their hard, stressful work.
Finally, today is also National Immigrants Day! If you or someone you know are immigrants, thanks for your courage in uprooting your life in pursuit of the American Dream...and for bringing snacks that make everyone's existence here in the US a bit more delicious!
Alright, cake time!
• First up, happy birthday to acclaimed virologist Jonas Edward Salk, born this day in 1914! Dr. Salk was the big brain behind one of the first successful vaccines against the scourge of polio, first announced in 1955. He was such a firm proponent of using science for the betterment of humankind that he declined to patent his discovery or derive any profit from it in order to maximize its global distribution. Less than 25 years later domestic transmission of the illness within the US had been completely eradicated. He spent his later years working on a vaccine for HIV. Thanks, doc!
• Next up, 01101000 01100001 01110000 01110000 01111001 00100000 01100010 01101001 01110010 01110100 01101000 01100100 01100001 01111001 to software developer, tech magnate, and philanthropist William Henry "Bill" Gates III, born this day in 1955! I'm a Mac person myself, but I fully concede that home computing would not be what it is today without the trail that Microsoft helped blaze. Plus he and his wife Melinda are giving away over 95% of their wealth upon their eventual deaths, which is pretty cool.
• Moving on, sling a slice over to Joaquin Rafael Phoenix, born this day in 1974! In addition to being an Oscar, Grammy, and Golden Globe-winning actor, Mr. Phoenix is also a long-time vegan and noted environmentalist and animal rights activist. Way to walk the line for the critters, Joaquin!
• Finally, cut a big piece for songwriter, performer, producer, and visual artist Frank Ocean, born this day in 1987! From his debut mixtape Nostalgia, Ultra to 2016's critically acclaimed Blond, Ocean has carved out an impressive musical career that defies easy categorization. I can't wait to see what he comes out with next!
OK, link time!
Bonus points to the YouTube commenter who posted "this is what happens when you cross the streams."
She's also a very entertaining cartoonist on Instagram!
3. Do you ever get tired of watching baby bats eat fruit?
I sure as heck don't!
These are all worthy masterpieces, but I will always have a soft spot for Statler & Waldorf...even if they are dressed up as the creepy AF Grady twins from The Shining.
Remember last month when I linked to the finalists for this year's Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards? Well, they've announced the winners, and Terry the bird-flipping turtle is the overall champ. Hopefully this improves his mood. Click the link to see him and all the other winners!