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🍭 Why is it that everything that brings me joy is bad for me?! 🍟
Happy National Junk Food Day! Finally, a holiday I can get behind. Of course the eggheads of the world want us all to know that sugar causes cancer, but so does everything else, so please let me just have this!
🍹 How are opossums & daiquiris alike? 🤔
How's it going? Did you have a decent weekend? Get up to anything fun or interesting? Or was it more of a "ugh, I really need to clean the house" kinda deal? Either way, only five days until we get another crack at the whole "weekend" thing, so don't despair if it didn't go precisely as planned!
🧀 Maybe it's cheesy, but there's only one thing that can save today!
Happy National Mac & Cheese Day! Maybe it's just me, but I'm really feeling a heavy layer of mid-summer malaise. The post-pandemic recovery hasn't been as much fun as I'd hoped, having found many of my favorite bars, restaurants, and shops failed to survive. We're in the dog days of the summer heat, making the outdoors less of a delight. The only thing that can really improve my mood is a heaping helping of carby, cheesy goodness!
🎭 How is Kiefer Sutherland like the Goblin King? 👺
Happy National Pecan Pie Day! In my experience, pecan pie is a lot like cilantro. People either love it or hate it, and those that love it REALLY love it while those that hate it REALLY hate it.
Me, I'm one of those people that loves it. In fact, pecan pie is my most favorite pie of all! Toasty, crunchy, nutty, buttery, and just generally delightful — I would eat it every day if I could!
😸 How do we like to get our blood pumping? 🩸
It's a good thing we're getting a little cardio in this morning, as today is National Sugar Cookie Day! I don't know about you, but I feel like the sugar cookie doesn't get the love it deserves.
🍓 Strawberry sundaes forever! 🍨
Happy National Dive Bar Day! With weather warming up and vaccination rates climbing ever-upward, I can think of few things as refreshing to do on a hot July evening than sip a frosty beer or a chilly cocktail. National Dive Bar Day falls on July 7th in honor of the classic dive bar drink the 7 and 7!
😒 Misanthropy is our bag! 🎒
Happy National Apple Turnover Day! I love me some pie as much as the next person, but turnovers are great because they make pie portable, hand-held, and much less of a sloppy mess than just digging into a pie plate with your hand.
What is a "space alien" anyway? 👽
Happy World UFO Day! It was on this day in 1947 that a US Army Air Force balloon crashed at a ranch near Roswell, New Mexico, spawning conspiracy theories that the crash was that of a flying saucer and that the truth was covered up by the United States government.
☄️ How is an asteroid like a cat? 😾
Happy International Asteroid Day! This lesser holiday was founded by actual scientists in 2015 in order to heighten public awareness of the threat asteroids pose to Earth. This is because scientists have only discovered approximately 1% of the roughly 100,000,000 asteroids hurtling through space that could potentially strike our planet and end life as we know it. Exciting!
📆 There's only one place for disappointing holidays:
Happy National...Paul Bunyan Day? Yeesh. June 28th, you are not bringing the heat as far as lesser holidays. Paul Bunyan Day? Tapioca Day? Logistics Day? Bleh.
🗣️ Spoiler alert: this email is funny. Probably.
Happy National Take Your Dog to Work Day! Sadly, the grinches that operate the office park that houses Boredwalk HQ prohibit animals from being allowed inside the building. Apparently they are not aware that ALL animals are, in fact, emotional support animals. (Yes, even the exotic — which I believe is French for "gross" — ones.)
😇 Grace may be a virtue...
Happy Let It Go Day! I guess we are supposed to let go of regrets or resentments or whatever, but this clearly isn't compatible with my favorite things, like holding grudges and exacting vengeance on those who have wronged me