News
😲 How a Vacation Rental Almost Killed Me! 😵
I have always adored storytelling. Reading, writing, going to storytelling shows. I am all about today's occasion. In light of the day, I thought I'd tell you about the time Boredwalk co-founder Matt and I nearly got killed by a vacation rental.
Why do 95% of ocean critters remain undiscovered? 🤔
That nautical dad joke above is our way of letting you know it's World Penguin Day! Here are 5 things you may not know about these dapper birds:
1. Giant penguins once roamed the earth. The ancestors of modern penguins may have been approximately 6 feet tall and weighed over 220 lbs.
What could April 20th *possibly* have in store? 🤔
It's National Cheddar Fries Day! And National Pineapple Upside-Down Cake Day! And National Banana Day! It's almost as if all these delicious munchies are being celebrated today of all days for a particular reason...
🦖 Things to be aware of on April 18th:
Happy National Velociraptor Awareness Day! I don't know about you, but I have been keenly aware of velociraptors since around 1990, the year I read Michael Crichton's massively popular sci-fi novel Jurassic Park.
Alright I'll play 🤓
I am not what anyone would call a board game enthusiast, yet I am surrounded by friends and family who love nothing more than to play board games all day. I can usually be found embezzling all the cash from the Monopoly bank, just to make the game end faster.
😾 All our heroes... 🥪
Happy National Pet Day! I hope you're able to celebrate in style with your favorite furry, feathery, or scaly friends. I expect my evening will be spent being alternately shrieked and/or purred at by my feline buddy Oliver. He never misses an opportunity to register his disappointment with my performance as a caretaker, and I'm sure he'll be shifting his judgmental tendencies into overdrive today.
What are we going to do with you, April 6th? 🤦🏻
Look, I love these distinctive-looking little furballs as much as the next cat lover (problematic mid-century Disney depiction notwithstanding), but you know that April 6th is really phoning it in with the bizarre observances when the *checks internet* 12th-most popular cat breed in the US as of 2021 is the marquee event. Twelfth!*
🤥 The lie I tell most often is...
It's Tell A Lie Day! I thought we'd all have this out of our systems on Friday with April Fools Day, but apparently the calendar wants to heighten our distrust of our fellow humans. Like I didn't already have plenty of that to begin with
😒 Gloom where you're planted 🥀
It's National Weed Appreciation Day! No, not the mind-altering variety, but the kind we're usually trying to banish from our gardens. A weed is simply a plant growing where we don't want it to grow. I think I'm gonna start referring to stray brow hairs not conforming to my brow line as face weeds. Get it together, brows!
Spiraling out? 🥴
Happy National Toast Day! Today's occasion is all about toast, which is one of my favorite things to eat, actually — buttered toast, avocado toast, any kind of tartine — I am for all of it; bust out the stretchy pants.
😤 If you don't have anything nice to say...
It's National Common Courtesy Day! Today reminds us to be decent humans. Let someone in front of you in traffic, hold the door for someone who has their hands full — engage in the little niceties that go a long way towards making society more tolerable
Well this is awkward... 😬
Today's occasion is all about embracing our cringiest moments and I am here for it! As a humor enthusiast I must confess that I love an awkward moment. Being weirdos and laughing at ourselves is the one thing we can all bond over.