July 28, 2023

It's gonna be a no for us 😒


Regular readers know that it is our tradition to crack wise about whatever national days happen to coincide with sending our newsletter, but today's selections are really bottom-of-the-barrel...
1. Talk In An Elevator Day
Dear reader, I will take ALL the stairs to avoid small talk with a stranger. Where's the national day for politely leaving strangers alone? I will pop bottles for that one.
2. National Water Park Day
Water parks are full of terrible things, like shrieking children and Legionnaires Disease. Plus all the strangers in water parks are in swimsuits. The only thing worse than a chatty fully clothed stranger in an elevator is a half-naked stranger in a water park. Sure it's 100 degrees outside, but I'd rather take a dip in my bathtub by myself than spend 5 minutes at a water park with moist strangers.
water park GIF
It's all fun and games until the Norovirus outbreak
GIF via les Sommets
You know what doesn't transmit waterborne viruses? The Boredwalk podcast! Tess and Josh discuss what pose they would strike if they were about to die in Pompeii. They also talk about things they like that would surprise people and the worst part of the human body (looking at you, armpits).
Listen on your favorite podcasting platform or, even better, watch them on YouTube!
Let's kick off the weekend with a few famous July 28th historical facts and notable birthdays to impress your friends with:
 Born on this day: author Beatrix Potter (1866), First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis (1929), artist Marcel Duchamp (1887), Saved by the Bell actress Elizabeth Berkley (1972), and basketball Hall of Famer Bill Bradley (1943)
• The US Congress passed the National Aeronautics and Space Act, establishing NASA, on this day in 1958 
• "White Zombie," the first feature length zombie film, was released in the US on this day in 1932 
 Peru declared independence from Spain in this day in 1821 
• The 14th Amendment to the US Constitution, which established the citizenship of African Americans and guaranteed due process of law, was ratified on this day in 1868
OK, that's it for this week! We'll be back here in your inbox on Monday with another email and MAYBE a fresh customer Q&A! If you'd like to be featured in an upcoming email reply to this and let us know!
Peace, love, and complaining,