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🗑️ This goes out to the grouches
WHO DOESN'T LOVE THE SMELL OF DISAPPOINTMENT IN THE MORNING?
Today's random occasion is Do-A-Grouch-A-Favor Day which encourages you to do something nice for someone grumpy.
I am often grumpy and would LOVE for the universe to do ME a favor and stop making everything terrible. If you are also prone to misfortune and the attendant crankiness that comes with it, I hope the universe cuts you some slack today.
Oscar realizing he should have just stayed in his trashcan today. I know that feeling.
GIF via PBS Kids
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While you're waiting for your new Boredwalk gear to arrive you can also treat your earholes to the latest episode of the Boredwalk Podcast!
This week Meredith & Tess revel in Taylor Swift's ruination of the Super Bowl for fragile men!
Tess then plots what she is going to do with the preposterous amount of grapefruit her partner Trevor was scammed into purchasing by his ex-coworker's child. Meredith is dealing with the same issue, but with lemons, and instead of an annoying child it is Mother Nature herself doing the scamming by virtue of the lemon tree in her yard.
Moving on, Tess reads a nice review from a customer raving about her Lurk Laugh Loathe hoodie. Yay! However, then we get a visit from the land of trolls — always an interesting peek into the psyches of idiots.
Tess then reads fan responses to the recent Question of the Day "What do people often wrongly assume about you?" before providing her own answers. That's right, answers plural! Tess contains multitudes! Meredith chimes in with her own. Interestingly, both of their answers deal with their respective heights and the assumptions people make based on their size!
They wrap up by trading answers to the Delve Deck questions "where is the most annoying place to go?" and "if you could wave a magic wand and make something more popular, what would you choose?"
Get in on the action and listen to the hilarity on the platform of your choice!
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Alright, this is normally the part of the email where I tell you about interesting historical facts and famous birthdays, but February 16th has slim pickings, unless you think it's riveting that on this day in 1861 Abraham Lincoln thanked an 11 year old girl for advising him to grow a beard to gain more votes.*
* Okay I guess that's mildly interesting. I didn't know he didn't always have that beard or that he grew it at the behest of an 11 year old to gain votes. I assumed he was born with a beard and that 11 year olds were too busy working in coal mines to be political consultants in the 19th century.
Birthday shoutouts for Reading Rainbow host LeVar Burton (1957), rapper Ice-T (1958), tennis player John McEnroe (1959), who is only getting a shoutout for his involvement in the TV series Never Have I Ever** because I don't care about tennis, and rapper/vowel hater*** The Weeknd (1990)
** Never Have I Ever is an endearing coming of age show about an Indian-American teenage girl on Netflix that is totally worth watching if you want a reasonably funny cute sit-com to watch that feels more cable than network TV.
*** I assume he hates vowels since he excised one from his name. I guess he had his fill of the letter E and figured we'd all just deal with it, and we have, so good on him I guess.
OK, that's it for this week!
We'll be back here in your inbox on Monday with another email and maybe a fresh customer Q&A! If you'd like to be featured in an upcoming email reply to this and let us know!
Peace, love, and grouching,
Meredith
Something sweet for you 🥰
A HOLIDAY FOR EATING CANDY? I'LL TAKE IT!
Halloween was months ago and we've been steadfast in sticking to our New Year's resolutions (right?!), so it's obviously time for a fresh sugar buzz for all of us. Valentine's Day to the rescue! While you're busy scarfing down fancy chocolates today, here's some savings to wash down those treats.
Today and TODAY ONLY take 14% off your order with code VDAY14 at check out.
This is what would happen if I got a job at a chocolate factory.
GIF courtesy of CBS / I Love Lucy
Want a few interesting historical tidbits and famous birthdays before we get to amusing links to brighten your day? Here's a few:
• The first photograph of a US President — specifically James Polk — was taken in Washington, DC on this day in 1849
• The original Dracula film starring Bela Lugosi as the titular vampire premiered on this day in 1931
• Arizona was admitted as the 48th state of the United States on this day in 1912
• Youtube.com was launched on this day in 2005
• Birthday chocolate all around for: African-American abolitionist, lecturer, and editor Frederick Douglass (1818), actress Florence Henderson of The Brady Bunch fame (1934), reporter/Watergate sleuth Carl Bernstein (1944), illusionist Teller of Penn & Teller fame (1948), actress Meg Tilly of Psycho II and The Big Chill fame (1960), actor Simon Pegg of Shaun of the Dead fame (1970), singer-songwriter Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20 fame (1972), and actor Freddie Highmore of Bates Motel fame (1992; who knew Valentine's Day was so big in the Psycho canon?)
Alright, on to the main course: amusing links to brighten your day...
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1. ❤️️ What's in and out for Valentine's Day 2024
Tess from Boredwalk's content team is doing some trend forecasting for V-Day 2024, and it's as wickedly funny as you'd expect. Be sure to comment and let her know if you agree!
For more LOLs from our team be sure to follow us on our OG social accounts such as Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and/or Facebook.
Humorist Elle Cordova imagines what the fonts are thinking when Calibri gets demoted.
3. 😹 This kitty is hangry and indiscriminate
Ever seen a big orange cat aggressively devouring cucumber? You're about to! Reminds me of something my dearly departed big orange cat Bigby would do; that guy would've eaten literally anything. Turn sound on to get the full effect of this cat's weirdo grumbles and munching sound effects.
4. 😆 When trying to help a stranger takes a turn
This sketch about getting in the car with strangers has more twists than a pretzel, enjoy!
5. 🐈 Delightfully wholesome minimalist comic about life with a cat
Here's a sweet little comic about caring for a cat by indie artist iamsitting.
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We'll be back here in your inbox on Friday with more nonsense holidays to dissect, more notable birthdays (and maybe even some notable deathdays!) to celebrate, and more witty content in general. Until then...
Peace, love, and sweets,
Meredith
🏈 When your team loses the big game, remember:
EVERYTHING IS TEMPORARY. INCLUDING THE OFFSEASON.
Chin up, Niners fans! There's always next year! If nothing else, you can now give your full attention to the Warriors and the Giants until September. So, uh... y'know... shake it off. (Too soon?)
And congrats, Chiefs fans! The Taylor Swift Conspiracy worked exactly as planned! I hope she and Travis enjoy their much deserved trip to Disney World/Land/Census Designated Place. They've earned it!
Every weird misogynist that's been suffering from TDS (Taylor Derangement Syndrome) for the last several months, probably.
GIF via NBC / The Office
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Two things to celebrate today as you recover from your Super Bowl hangover (yeah, I SAID IT! Screw your "big game" nonsense, Goodell! Come at me!):
• National Freedom To Marry Day, which celebrates the day in 2004 when then-mayor Gavin Newsom directed the city of San Francisco to begin issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples
• National Plum Pudding Day, because who doesn't want to celebrate bizarrely named English desserts full of fruits other than actual plums?
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Alright! Let's kick off the week with a few famous February 12th historical events and notable birthdays:
• In 1733 James Oglethorpe founded Georgia, the 13th of the original colonies that would eventually become the United States, when he settled at Savannah
• In 1909 the NAACP was founded
• Birthday plum pudding all around for: English geologist and theorist Charles Darwin (1809), lawyer and 16th President of the United States Abraham Lincoln (1809), French engineer, businessman, and automobile manufacturer Louis Renault (1877), NBA legend Bill Russell (1934), author & educator Judy Blume (1938), singer-songwriter & keyboard player Ray Manzarek of The Doors (1939), computer scientist, engineer, and futurist Ray Kurzweil (1948), actor & talk show host Arsenio Hall (1956), actor Josh Brolin of The Goonies fame (1968), singer Chynna Phillips of Wilson Phillips fame (1968), filmmaker Darren Aronofsky of Pi, Requiem for a Dream, The Wrestler, and Black Swan fame (1969), rapper Gucci Mane (1980), and actress Christina Ricci (1980)
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OK, no new customer Q&A this week, unfortunately! If you're feeling even moderately outgoing and would like to be featured in an upcoming Monday email (and are a customer with some Boredwalk tees, tanks, hoodies, towels, bags, books, or Delve Decks to show off), just reply to this and let us know and we'll send you some fun questions!
We'll be back here in your inbox on Wednesday with some more random holidays to observe, historical tidbits to acknowledge, and fun links to entertaining content! Until next time...
Peace, love, and plum pudding,
Matt