News
😋 We don't just like Thanksgiving...
...WE RELISH IT
Happy National Cranberry Relish Day!
Assuming you're an enthusiast, that is. Cranberry relish and/or jelly seems to be one of the more polarizing side dishes of a traditional Thanksgiving spread. I'm not the pickiest eater, but I have strong opinions about food and am ambivalent about cranberry-themed sides. I'm fairly indifferent to the canned jelly, but I've had some pretty bad homemade and store-bought cranberry relishes, which is why I prefer to make my own, which I love. Even better, the leftover relish really levels up vanilla ice cream!
It's also National Jukebox Day, which is quaint and sweet. I wonder if decades from now someone will try to make National Playlist Day a thing?
Chaotic-Evil pro tip: Next time you're about to leave a bar or restaurant with a functioning jukebox, buy $5 worth of the most polarizing song available as a treat for the remaining patrons & staff! Bonus points if it's Chumbawamba's 'Tubthumping' or Don McLean's 'American Pie'!
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Alright, before we get to those links, let's take note of some famous events and birthdays from November 22nds of yore. Maybe yours! If it is, happy birthday!
• In 1718 Royal Navy Lieutenant Robert Maynard attacked & boarded the vessels of British pirate Edward "Blackbeard" Teach off the coast of North Carolina. Among the casualties was Blackbeard himself. Sad! (I guess. Maybe he was a jerk?)
• In 1943 Lebanon gained independence from France, two years after it was first announced by the Free French government
• In 1963 U.S. President John F. Kennedy was assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald. Vice President Lyndon B. Johnson was sworn in as the 36th President of the United States shortly afterwards.
• Birthday morsels all around for: English novelist & poet Mary Ann "George Eliot" Evans of Silas Marner and Middlemarch fame (1819), French general and President Charles de Gaulle (1890), singer-songwriter, pianist, and actor Hoagy Carmichael of 'Stardust', 'Georgia On My Mind', and 'Heart and Soul' fame (1899), comedian & actor Rodney Dangerfield of Caddyshack and Back to School fame (1921), American-English actor & filmmaker Terry Gilliam of Monty Python fame (1940), tennis legend and feminist icon Billie Jean King (1943), singer-songwriter, guitarist, producer, and actor Steven Van Zandt of E Street Band, The Sopranos, and Lilyhammer fame (1950), Talking Heads and Tom Tom Club singer-songwriter & bass player Tina Weymouth (1950), actress and horror cinema legend Jamie Lee Curtis (1958), Cuban-American rapper Sen Dog of Cypress Hill fame (1965), Danish actor Mads Mikkelsen of Casino Royale, Hannibal, and Valhalla Rising fame (1965), actor Michael K. "Omar comin'!" Williams of The Wire fame (1966), actor Mark Ruffalo of 13 Going On 30 fame (1967), software engineer and Napster founder Shawn Fanning of killing the pre-2000 music industry fame (1980), and actress Scarlett Johansson of Lost In Translation, Ghost World, and Arachnophobia fame (1984)
• Pour one out for: the aforementioned Blackbeard (d. 1718), actor & comedian Shemp Howard of Three Stooges fame (d. 1955), English novelist & philosopher Aldous Huxley of The Doors of Perception and Brave New World fame (d. 1963), U.S. President John F. Kennedy (d. 1963), British writer & theologian C.S. Lewis of The Chronicles of Narnia fame (d. 1963), actress Mae West (d. 1980), English novelist Anthony Burgess of A Clockwork Orange fame (d. 1993), and Australian singer-songwriter Michael Hutchence of INXS fame (d. 1997)
Now on to the amusing links!
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1. 😈 The algorithms have NO sense of humor
Tess, Grace, and Josh on the Boredwalk creator team (with occasional cameos from me and my co-founder Meredith) have been doing some of their BEST work lately — truly laugh-out-loud funny videos, like this one of Tess attempting to demonically possess Josh and me — that the FB, IG, and TikTok algorithms just refuse to show people.
I'm bookending this list with another one, but if you're new to Boredwalk I strongly encourage you to scroll through our feeds this week when you're trying to avoid family drama or slink away from the table before the asparagus mousse is served. You won't be disappointed! (Except by the asparagus mousse.)
For more LOLs from our team be sure to follow us on our OG social accounts such as Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and/or Facebook.
2. 🫣 Art historians are BIG MAD about this one!
Portrait painter and muralist Emma Kenny was commissioned to alter some old paintings for a new concept bar in Glasgow, Scotland, and hoo boy, are there some VERY upset art historians and preservationists losing their marbles in the comments, even though the captions clearly state that the bar sourced and owns ALL of these originals and ASKED Emma to do this.
It would be one thing if the original artists were still alive and were the ones complaining about this project, but they've all been dead for centuries. I guarantee you they do not care.
3. 😱 Just in time for the holidays — the Elf on the Shelf gets a makeover!
Self-taught sculptor Anthony — aka Ace of Clay — repurposes an Elf on the Shelf doll to make something a bit more Nightmare Before Christmas than Night Before Christmas. You can follow him on TikTok or Instagram for shorter clips of his process, but he's so talented I thought I should link to the full process video on his YouTube channel. Enjoy!
4. 😼 We'll see how long this gingerbread house lasts...
Crafter Emma Movius constructed a gingerbread house for her cats, and it is VERY impressive!
5. 👻 A retirement plan for the rest of us
Worried you'll never be able to afford that dream home (or any home)? Josh lays out a compelling scheme to turn your dream into an incorporeal reality — die in a mansion!
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OK! We'll be back here in your inbox on Friday with more nonsense holidays to dissect, more notable birthdays (and maybe even some notable deathdays!) to celebrate, and more witty content in general. Until then...
Our biggest sale of the year ends tonight! ⏳
ONLY HOURS LEFT TILL THESE DEALS DISAPPEAR!
Happy National Absurdity Day AND National Peanut Butter Fudge Day! How's this for an absurdity: I just now discovered that peanut butter fudge is a thing that exists. Today marks the first day of the rest of my peanut butter fudge-eating life! Huzzah!
In less-fun news, today also marks the waning hours of our early bird Black Friday event. Come midnight, all the codes below expire, so if you haven't ordered the Boredwalk gear you've had your eye on yet — either for yourself or for holiday gift-giving — now's the time!
Now through midnight TONIGHT get:
• 10% OFF EVERYTHING, STOREWIDE, with code EARLYBIRDY10
• 15% OFF $75+ orders AND FREE U.S. shipping with code EARLYBIRDY15
• 20% OFF $150+ orders AND FREE U.S. shipping with code EARLYBIRDY20
• 20% OFF $200+ orders AND FREE U.S. shipping AND a FREE copy of our Good Company guest book with code EARLYBIRDY20* for the first 50 customers!
*Yes, the code is the same. Don't worry. Our system will add the book to the cart once you hit that $200 threshold.
Perfect for the holiday season (but useful year-round), Good Company is a great way to commemorate family gatherings, holiday parties, and low-key friendly hangouts with writing and drawing prompts designed to give you an ever-evolving document of the fun times you've had with your favorite people!
Leave it out for your guests to add to whenever you have visitors and you'll be able to look back through their jokes and poems and doodles about your get-togethers with fondness for years to come.
Plus it's incredibly stylish and would look great on your coffee table. It's also a fantastic distraction for those rude guests that always show up unfashionably early. (You know who you are!)
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Alright! Let's start the week off with some notable events and famous birthdays from November 20ths of yore!
• In 1789 New Jersey became the first U.S. state to ratify the Bill of Rights
• In 1985 Microsoft released Windows 1.0, the company's first graphical PC operating environment
• Birthday Peanut Butter Fudge all around for: Astronomer, cosmologist, and space telescope namesake Edwin Hubble (1889), cartoonist Chester Gould of Dick Tracy fame (1900), singer-songwriter & guitarist Duane Allman of Allman Brothers Band and 'Layla' fame (1946), singer-songwriter & guitarist Joe Walsh of The James Gang and The Eagles (1947), actress Sean Young of Blade Runner, Stripes, and Dune fame (1959), rapper & drummer Michael "Mike D" Diamond of Beastie Boys fame (1965), rapper Phife Dawg of A Tribe Called Quest fame (1970), actor & comedian Joel McHale of The Soup and Community fame (1971), singer-songwriter Davey Havok of emo luminaries AFI (1975), Olympic gymnast Dominique Dawes (1976), and rapper Future (1983)
• Pour one out for: All victims of transphobia. Today is the Transgender Day of Remembrance, when we memorialize all who have been murdered as a result of transphobia.
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OK, scroll on down to learn about fellow Boredwalk fan Kimberlee! If you're feeling even moderately outgoing and would like to be featured in an upcoming Monday email (and are a customer with some Boredwalk tees, tanks, hoodies, towels, bags, or books to show off), just reply to this and let us know and we'll send you some fun questions!
We'll be back here in your inbox on Wednesday with some more random holidays to observe, historical tidbits to acknowledge, and fun links to entertaining content! Until next time...
Peace, love, and last-minute savings,
Matt
Kimberlee loving Scotland in her (sadly, discontinued) Scotland Is For Lovers tee!
1. What's your actual day job and what's your dream day job?
I just left almost 10 years of library programming to become a paraprofessional of deaf/hard of hearing children between ages 3-7. I have never been happier at a job. (As long as I don't think about the pay cut).
I have always dreamt of being a commercial airline pilot.
2. What's your biggest pet peeve?
Saying "good morning." Every teacher/school staff says it. I don't even want to be noticed let alone hear that they think a morning can be good. I think it might be a cult…
3. What's a book you think the Boredwalk community should read?
Ha! Never ask a librarian that. There is no ONE book. Have you been in a library??
For fiction I think the readers would love Tender is the Flesh by Augustina Bazterrica. Nonfiction: Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson. (Contact me for an extensive list of recommendations!)
4. If you could have any super power what would it be and why?
Protect all children. Enough said.
5. You can curse your nemesis with a minor annoyance for eternity; what do you choose?
Slivers under their fingernails they cannot remove so that every time they attempt to eat fries with ketchup, their fingers feel like fire! Then they will have to eat fries with a fork like George Costanza ate his chocolate bars on Seinfeld.
6. If you could make a mundane wish (meaning, a wish for something seemingly inconsequential that you still believe would benefit you immensely), what would it be for?
That I didn't need to rely on coffee to be a better human.
7. What experience do you most want to cross off your bucket list?
I can finally cross off Scotland!
So next would be to visit ancient Egyptian pyramids and see the hieroglyphs on the walls.
8. What is something you wish you could go back in time and say to your younger self?
Reader, don't marry him. Fall in love with yourself instead.
9. Clear up a misconception (about your job, where you are from, some other topic you know a lot about).
Librarians actually promote not finishing a book that you aren't enjoying, because life is too short and the TBR list is too long. And librarians like to talk. A lot.
10. Where can the rest of the Boredwalk community find you?
On Instagram @javadiva and on Goodreads.
The blackest of Fridays calls for our biggest sale of the year! 👻
WELL, IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN
Look, before you tap "reply" and begin irately clickety-clacking about late-stage capitalism and the true spirit of the season or whatever you're feeling soapbox-y about, we know — it's not actually Black Friday.
Boredwalk does TWO Black Friday sales each year — one the weekend before Thanksgiving and one the weekend after — for a very practical reason: we print all our tees and hoodies and tank tops and messenger bags and kitchen towels to order, and spreading out the savings across two weekends helps keep everyone in our Production and Shipping departments sane and better equipped to avoid burnout and exhaustion from having all the holiday orders come in over a short 4-day period.
The deals this weekend are better than the ones we're offering next weekend. So please bear this in mind as you plan your holiday shopping.
If you're one of those billionaire types, please don't hesitate to pay full price and share some of that largesse with us plebes! Perhaps you're in the market for that brand-new reimagining of our I Refuse To Rest In Peace, I Expect To Haunt In Retribution design, shown above? The original version was solid, but we think this "Taylor's version," if you will, improves upon it immensely. Prove us right and buy it!
Now, on with the discount codes!
Now through Monday (11/20) get:
• 10% OFF EVERYTHING, STOREWIDE, with code EARLYBIRDY10
• 15% OFF $75+ orders AND FREE U.S. shipping with code EARLYBIRDY15
• 20% OFF $150+ orders AND FREE U.S. shipping with code EARLYBIRDY20
• 20% OFF $200+ orders AND FREE U.S. shipping AND a FREE copy of our Good Company guest book with code EARLYBIRDY20* for the first 50 customers!
*Yes, the code is the same. Don't worry. Our system will add the book to the cart once you hit that $200 threshold.
Perfect for the holiday season (but useful year-round), Good Company is a great way to commemorate family gatherings, holiday parties, and low-key friendly hangouts with writing and drawing prompts designed to give you an ever-evolving document of the fun times you've had with your favorite people!
Leave it out for your guests to add to whenever you have visitors and you'll be able to look back through their jokes and poems and doodles about your get-togethers with fondness for years to come.
Plus it's incredibly stylish and would look great on your coffee table. It's also a fantastic distraction for those rude guests that always show up unfashionably early. (You know who you are!)
*****
While you're shopping, treat your earholes to the latest episode of the Boredwalk Podcast! Click here to listen on your favorite podcasting platform!
This week my co-founder Meredith & Grace from Boredwalk's content team trade stories about their recent exercise-related brushes with death!
They also react to a customer review that describes a work culture that gives us all the ick.
There is then our recurring segment "Troll Comment of the Week" — always a fun time! As per usual, this week's troll comment is busting at the seams with unprompted misogyny.
Meredith and Grace then share their responses to our recent Question of the Day "which fast food chain has the worst menu?" Fan answers were varied and heated! A lot of Chick-fil-A stans and haters in these streets!
They wrap up by asking each other questions from our forthcoming Delve Deck expansion packs. From the Venting Edition they answer the question "who disappointed you recently and why?" and from the Joy Edition they share their responses to "what life experience ended up being a lot better than you imagined it would be?"
While we had hoped to unveil those gorgeous new decks today, the Customs & Border Protection agents at the port of Long Beach enjoy ruining holidays more than a pre-heart enlargement Grinch. We'll be doing a discounted launch for those ASAP — hopefully next week! We're confident we'll still be able to ship them in time for Christmakwanzaayulekkah.
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Alright! Let's send you off into the weekend with some notable events and famous birthdays from November 17ths of yore!
• Happy National Hiking Day and National Baklava Day!
• Happy birthday to the beautiful city of Denver, Colorado, which was founded on this day in 1858!
• Birthday baklava all around for: Canadian singer-songwriter & guitarist Gordon Lightfoot (1938), filmmaker Martin Scorsese (1942), model & actress Lauren Hutton of Once Bitten fame (1943), singer-songwriter & guitarist Gene Clark of Byrds fame (1944), actor, director, and American treasure Danny DeVito of Taxi, Twins, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, and It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia fame (1944), Canadian-American screenwriter & producer Lorne Michaels of Saturday Night Live and Kids in the Hall fame (1944), actor Stephen Root of NewsRadio, Office Space, and Idiocracy fame (1951), drag icon RuPaul of Drag Race and But I'm A Cheerleader fame (1960), influential singer-songwriter & guitarist Jeff Buckley (1966), singer-songwriter & guitarist Kimya Dawson of Moldy Peaches fame (1972), Welsh actor Tom Ellis of Lucifer fame (1978), and Canadian actress Rachel McAdams of Mean Girls, Wedding Crashers, and The Notebook fame (1978)
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OK, that's it for this week! We'll be back here in your inbox on Monday with another email and a fresh customer Q&A! If you'd like to be featured in an upcoming email reply to this and let us know!
Peace, love, and savings,
Matt, Meredith, and the whole Boredwalk team
Do your best, or don't, I guess? 🤷🏻♀️
We like big Bundts and we cannot lie 🥮
YOU OTHER BAKERS CAN'T DENY
Happy National Bundt Day!
Fun fact: "Bundt" should always be capitalized because it is a trademark of the cookware manufacturer Nordic Ware, who began manufacturing the pans in the 1950s in the style of traditional European gugelhupf cakes.
Corollary fact: "Bundt" as a descriptor only applies to the shape of the cakes baked in Bundt pans, not to a specific cake recipe.
Bizarre linguistic fact: the correct pronunciation of Bundt has always included the "t" sound at the end, but the correct spelling of the cakes is "bund." Nordic Ware added the not-so-silent t at the end to both secure their trademark and make the spelling and pronunciation aligned so the pans would be easier to market.
Yeah, I know, more about Bundts than you ever wanted to know. I promise there are fun links further down, just bear with me.
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Today is also National Recycling Day, National Drummer Day, and National Family Civility Day. Celebrate all four of these random occasions by using your old Bundt pans as percussive instruments, but only during daylight hours so as not to be un-civil toward your family!
Alright, before we get to those links, let's take note of some famous events and birthdays from November 15ths of yore. Maybe yours! If it is, happy birthday!
• In 1920 the first assembly of the League of Nations (which would eventually morph into the United Nations) was held in Geneva, Switzerland
• In 1968 the Cleveland Transit System became the first transit system in the western hemisphere to provide direct rapid transit service from a city's downtown to its major airport. The snarky among us may be tempted to make a snide joke about this being necessary because people are so desperate to flee Cleveland, but I have been to The Cleve and it is much nicer than you think/remember. Don't knock it!
• In 2001 Microsoft launched the Xbox game console
• In 2022 the global (human) population reached 8 billion. That's a relief, because every time I leave the house I immediately think to myself "this is fine, but it could be better if there were more people for me to navigate around and be forced to interact with."
• Birthday Bundts all around for: Modernist painter and "flower" enthusiast Georgia O'Keeffe (1887), Disney and Peanuts television special animator and voice actor of Snoopy & Woodstock Bill Melendez (1916), actor Ed Asner of The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Elf, Up, and DC animated universe fame (1929), English novelist & short story writer J.G. Ballard of Empire of the Sun and The Atrocity Exhibition fame (1930), English singer-songwriter Petula Clark of 'Downtown' fame (1932), early R&B and rock 'n' roll singer Clyde McPhatter (1932), actor & screenwriter Yaphet Kotto of Alien and Homicide: Life on the Streets fame (1939), actor Sam Waterston of Law & Order fame (1940), Malaysian fashion designer Jimmy Choo of very expensive shoe fame (1948), actress Beverly D'Angelo of National Lampoon's Family Vacation film franchise fame (1951), pro wrestling icon Randy "Macho Man" Savage (1952), drummer Tony Thompson of Chic and Power Station fame (1954), comedian & actress Judy Gold (1962), actress Rachel True of The Craft and Half Baked fame (1966), rapper Ol' Dirty Bastard (1968), English-American actor Jonny Lee Miller of Hackers and Trainspotting fame (1972), and actor Asia Kate Dillon of Orange Is The New Black and Billions fame (1984)
Now on to the amusing links!
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1. 🧙🏼♀️ We owe you an apology
We may have become soft over the course of the previous millennium, but we are committed to doing better by bringing terrifying old school retribution into the 21st century.
For more LOLs from our team be sure to follow us on our OG social accounts such as Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and/or Facebook.
2. 🪓 This (home)town isn't big enough for the two of us
Comedian Alina Bock finally gives us the Hallmark content we've been searching for!
3. 😱 Just say NO to ventriloquism classes!
Don't be a dummy like Joe Brogie, lest you become an accomplice to a puppet's armed robbery scheme
4. 🖨️ I've never seen that computer before in my life
Creator Julie Story really nails IT network dysfunction with this skit about a reluctant desktop printer.
5. 😾 Daylight Saving Time sounds like a YOU problem, human
Penny the ginger cat is not interested in your fickle human temporal constructs. She wants dinner, and she wants it NOW.
OK! We'll be back here in your inbox on Friday — possibly with more nonsense holidays to dissect, more notable birthdays (and maybe even some notable deathdays!) to celebrate, and more witty content in general. Maybe even some *gasp* new art! Until then...
Peace, love, and the biggest of Bundts,
Matt
Too busy disposing of baddies to water? 🌱
It's a brand new (treacherous) year! 🦝
So much for eating healthier in the new year 🍒🍫
So this is the new year? 🤨
WE DON'T FEEL ANY DIFFERENT
Here's hoping we can flip the script on the above sentiment with some new habits in 2024! We're closing out 2023 with a great deal on fun stuff to help those New Year's resolutions stick around past mid-January!
Now through Monday, get 15% off any of our Delve Decks, adult activity books, and Grievance Journals when you use the code NEW15 at checkout!
You don't need to spend a certain amount or download an app or sacrifice an innocent animal over a copper bowl while reciting "Auld Lang Syne" backwards — just use that code at checkout. That's it.*
*Though I would be very bad marketer indeed if I didn't mention that orders over $75 ship for free within the U.S. Do with this fine print what you will.
It's been a long year, you deserve some easy savings!
GIF via CBS
Alright, sales-y stuff out of the way...
Happy Pepper Pot Day! No, not Tony Stark's right-hand woman Pepper Potts — I'm talking about the piping hot stew of veggies, peppercorns, and beef tripe! (Yum, I guess?)
Nicknamed 'The Soup That Won The War' in the aftermath of the Revolutionary War by fanciful Philadelphians who claimed it was the only food the Continental Army ate during the harsh winter of 1777-1778 as they fought for independence from British rule, this is a pretty ironic bit of myth-making given that Pepper Pot was originally brought to America by — wait for it — enslaved people from Africa and the Caribbean. Of course. Founding Fathers? More like Founding Fibbers, amirite?
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Alright! Let's send you off into the holiday weekend with some notable events and famous birthdays from December 29ths of yore! If that includes yours, happy birthday to you! Celebrate with some beef tripe (if you dare)!
• In 1845 the U.S. annexed the Republic of Texas and admitted it as the 28th state in the union, much to the chagrin of various Texans ever since
• In 1937 the catchily-named Irish Free State was replaced by a new, more efficiently-named state called Ireland following the adoption of a new constitution
• Birthday beef tripe stew — sorry, kids! — all around for: Scottish chemist and inventor of the modern waterproof raincoat Charles Macintosh (1766), chemist & engineer Charles Goodyear of tire & blimp fame (1800), pianist, saxophonist, jazz bandleader, and trans trailblazer Billy Tipton (1914), actress, producer, and Weezer muse Mary Tyler Moore (1936), Canadian singer-songwriter & bassist Rick Danko of The Band (1943), English singer-songwriter & actress Marianne Faithfull (1946), actor Ted Danson of Cheers, Three Men and a Baby, and The Good Place fame (1947), actress Patricia Clarkson (1959), comedian & author Paula Poundstone (1959), singer-songwriter & biologist Dexter Holland of punk band The Offspring (1965), filmmaker Lilly Wachowski of The Matrix film franchise fame (1967), English actor Jude Law (1972), actor & screenwriter Danny McBride of Eastbound & Down fame (1976), actress Katherine Moennig of The L Word fame (1976), Mexican actor & filmmaker Diego Luna of Andor fame (1979), and actress Alison Brie of Community and G.L.O.W. fame (1982)
• Pour one out for: Austrian poet & author Rainer Maria Rilke (d. 1926), jazz trumpeter Freddie Hubbard (d. 2008), guitarist, drummer, and songwriter Ben Curtis of the bands Secret Machines and School of Seven Bells (d. 2013), Italian-French fashion designer Pierre Cardin (d. 2020), English fashion designer Vivienne Westwood (d. 2022), and Brazilian football icon Pelé (d. 2022)
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OK, that's it for this week! We'll be back here in your inbox on Monday with another email — because everybody deserves to receive something fun on New Year's Day — and MAYBE a fresh customer Q&A! If you'd like to be featured in an upcoming email reply to this and let us know!
Peace, love, and fresh starts,
Matt
Need to shed some holiday weight? 🏋🏽
START BY TOSSING THAT FRUITCAKE IN THE 🗑️
Happy National Fruitcake Day! Did you know that the earliest documented recipe for fruitcake is a Roman variation from around 500 BCE? That tracks, considering the average 2023 fruitcake tastes around 2,475 years old. Maybe we've all been re-gifting the same ancient fruitcakes to our frenemies this whole time?
Even more shocking: for a time in the 18th century fruitcakes made with butter and sugar were actually banned in Europe for being "too rich and tasty."
I'm no expert, but wanting to consume a less-palatable version of an already-dubious "treat" seems to be a prime example of literally being a glutton for punishment.
That's right, Pee-wee — gotta keep it fresh for re-gifting next year!
GIF courtesy of Pee-wee's Playhouse / CBS
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Alright, before we get to those links let's acknowledge some notable events and famous birthdays from December 27ths of yore. Maybe yours! If it is, happy birthday!
• In 1831 Charles Darwin embarked on his journey aboard HMS Beagle, during which he would begin formulating his theory of evolution
• In 1932 Radio City Music Hall, dubbed the "Showplace of the Nation," opened in New York City
• In 1935 Regina Jonas was ordained as the first female rabbi in the history of Judaism
• Birthday fruitcake all around (sorry kids!) for: French chemist & microbiologist Louis Pasteur of pasteurization fame (1822), actress Heather O'Rourke of Poltergeist film franchise fame (1975), singer-songwriter & keyboardist Hayley Williams of the band Paramore (1988), and French-American actor & presumed chocolate enthusiast Timothée Chalamet (1995)
• Pour one out for: French architect, engineer, and tower enthusiast Gustave Eiffel (d. 1923), singer-songwriter & guitarist Chris Bell of influential power-poppers Big Star (d. 1978), influential Tin Pan Alley singer-songwriter & pianist Hoagy Carmichael (d. 1981), and actress & author Carrie Fisher of Star Wars film franchise fame (d. 2016)
Now on to the amusing links!
*****
1. 👻 If this is an addiction, put it straight into my veins!
Josh's asocial introverted behavior is only a problem for other people. He's not hurting anyone!
For more LOLs from our team be sure to follow us on our OG social accounts such as Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and/or Facebook.
2. 🤘🏽 DIY home improvement, but make it metal
Digital creator and impressive handyperson Brandon Gentry shows how he turned a lackluster kitchen closet into a schmancy hidden bar. Everything looks so easy when it's condensed into a minute and 14 seconds!
3. ☠️ A new dark horse candidate has entered the fray!
I hear she favors pale and/or white steeds... vote Anne Thrax in 2024!✌🏼
4. 👶🏽 What else is a parent supposed to do?
Syd & Olivia aren't going to just stand by and let baby Brockleigh's crow's feet and worry lines progress unchecked!
5. 🔪 Oatmeal = joy!
Craig really has his morning routine dialed in — we have a lot to learn from him!
6. BONUS: 📜 The secret origin of the Bill of Rights
Normally our Wednesday emails are a strictly bummer-free zone. We started sending these link roundup emails in April 2020 as a welcome distraction from the horrors of COVID and racial injustice and all the other aspects of the modern dystopia that make just getting out of bed each morning a challenge.
Last week Boredwalk co-founder Meredith and I lost a dear friend. Neel Nanda was one of the first friends we made after moving to Los Angeles in 2013. We had moved out here to be closer to suppliers, and around the same time Neel had relocated from NYC to pursue comedy full-time.
In a lot of ways we were living parallel lives to Neel — as Boredwalk grew, his career also blossomed. He went from working day jobs to pay bills and hustling for time at open mics at night when we met — sometimes doing 2-3 sets all over LA each night, 6-7 nights per week to hone his craft — to doing comedy full-time, booking successful tours, and appearing on Comedy Central, HULU, and Jimmy Kimmel Live!, among countless other credits.
In addition to being so warm, friendly, and instantly likable, Neel's talent and drive were evident to us from the very first night we met him after a set at the Lyric Hyperion, and we cherished every moment we got to spend with him over the last 11 years even though those moments became harder and harder to come by as the demands of our respective jobs got in the way.
The angry and sad part of me spent most of the holiday weekend being bitter about the fact that so many other less talented, less deserving, and less hardworking comedians received bigger breaks while Neel continued to grind on the road and in clubs here around LA.
Being a working artist is hard and one of the heartbreaking things about being close to working artists is seeing extremely talented hardworking people not get the careers they deserve, or at least not on the timeline they deserve. I always believed he'd eventually be a household name. He was so funny and so driven. I felt that way the first time I met him and still fully expected it to happen until his sudden passing last week.
Would a Netflix special or a late night hosting gig have resulted in him still being here with us? Maybe, maybe not.
What I do know is that existence is hard and I'm sad in a very selfish way that he won't be around to make me laugh anymore.
Rest in peace, buddy.
*****
OK! We'll be back here in your inbox on Friday with more nonsense holidays to dissect, more notable birthdays (and maybe even some notable deathdays!) to celebrate, and more witty content in general. Until then...
Peace, love, and fruitcake (I guess),
Matt
Do you hear what I hear?👂
THE SOUND OF CHRISTMAS MUSIC FINALLY RECEDING FROM PUBLIC ADDRESS SYSTEMS!
Happy National Pumpkin Pie Day! What a delicious way to celebrate a random day at the end of December! Good thing there's nothing else happening of note today that might steal Big Pumpkin's dessert-y thunder...
Oh wait — right. December 25th. Merry Christmas!
If you're anything like my family, your Christmas morning unfolds thusly:
• 6:00AM - All children under the age of 12 wake up and begin foaming at the mouth and gnashing teeth, champing at the bit to tear into gifts. Doesn't matter for whom, they just want to rip brightly-colored paper to shreds.
• 6:01AM - These children are told in no uncertain terms that they must wait until 7:00AM at the earliest to rouse their older brother (me) from his slumber, lest he transmogrify into The Christmas Ogre and ruin everyone's day with sullen, sarcastic insults.
• 7:00AM - Everyone gathers around the dining room table to read Advent devotionals, sing Christmas hymns — not carols, hymns, preferably with multiple stanzas to really ratchet up the impotent frustrated rage of the sub-12 set — sing "Happy Birthday" to Jesus, eat the attendant birthday cake baked specially for Him, and jockey for position near the papered-over entrance to the living room until given permission to enter and obliterate a small forest worth of paper.
• 7:20ish AM - Permission is granted
• 8:30ish AM - Operation: Destroy All Wrapping Paper is complete
Totally normal, right? Every family does this, right? RIGHT?!
Peace on Earth and bad will to your fierce competition in the unwrapping Olympics!
GIF via Saturday Night Live / NBC
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The above description of events may seem hyperbolic, but I assure you it is not. That was quite literally every Christmas morning in the Snow household from ≈ 1992 - 2004, and I assume it continues to this day because my brothers will never not be annoying AF on Christmas morning, even in their 30s.
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If you are not a Christmas celebrant, I hope you are still planning to enjoy a day of tranquil reflection and relaxation today.
If you are associating with said celebrants today but need a last-minute gift, don't forget that Boredwalk sells electronic gift cards that are instantaneously delivered to your email inbox after purchase. It's like you are Santa Clause and the internet is your own personal chimney!
And if you are the recipient of said gift card OR just some cold hard digital cash that your lazy siblings just Venmo'ed you in lieu of something more thoughtful, be sure to use code SAVE15 at checkout for 15% off orders of $95 or more, and don't forget that U.S. shipping is FREE for orders of $75 or more!
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Alright! Let's kick off this holiday with a few famous December 25th birthdays and historical facts:
• In 1758 Johann Georg Palitzsch sighted Halley's Comet, confirming its namesake Edmund Halley's prediction of its passage and becoming the first passage of a comet that was predicted ahead of time
• In 1968 the Apollo 8 mission performed the first successful Trans-Earth injection (TEI) maneuver, which sent the crew & spacecraft on a trajectory back to Earth from Lunar orbit
• In 2021 the James Webb Space Telescope was launched
• Birthday pumpkin pie all around for: Nurse, humanitarian, and founder of the American Red Cross Clara Barton (1821), actor Humphrey Bogart of Casablanca fame (1899), jazz singer-songwriter & bandleader Cab Calloway (1907), screenwriter, producer, and creator of The Twilight Zone Rod Serling (1924), English singer-songwriter & bassist Noel Redding of The Jimi Hendrix Experience (1945), singer-songwriter, guitarist, and margarita enthusiast Jimmy Buffett (1946), actress Sissy Spacek of Carrie fame (1949), Guyanese-American actress CCH Pounder of The X-Files, ER, and The Shield fame (1952), Scottish singer-songwriter & pianist Annie Lennox of Eurythmics fame (1954), recently departed English-Irish singer-songwriter Shane MacGowan of Pogues fame (1957), English songwriter, producer, and journalist Bob Stanley of Saint Etienne (1964), Danish model & actress Helena Christensen of "rolling around on the beach with Chris Isaak" fame (1968), French musician & producer Nicolas Godin of pop duo Air (1969), English singer-songwriter Dido of "Here With Me" and "Thank You" fame (1971), Irish musician & songwriter Noel Hogan of 90s alt-rock darlings The Cranberries (1971), and Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau (1971)
• Pour out some egg nog for: English actor & director Charlie Chaplin (d. 1977), singer, actor, and all-around entertainer Dean Martin (d. 1995), singer-songwriter & Godfather of Soul James Brown (d. 2006), singer & actress Eartha Kitt (d. 2008), singer-songwriter & guitarist Vic Chesnutt (d. 2009), and British singer-songwriter & pop superstar George Michael of "Last Christmas" fame with Wham! (d. 2016)
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OK, no new customer Q&A this week, but if you're feeling even moderately outgoing and would like to be featured in an upcoming Monday email (and are a customer with some Boredwalk tees, tanks, hoodies, towels, bags, books, or Delve Decks to show off), just reply to this and let us know and we'll send you some fun questions!
We'll be back here in your inbox on Wednesday with some more random holidays to observe, historical tidbits to acknowledge, and fun links to entertaining content! Until next time...
Peace, love, and no more Christmas music in stores after today,
Matt
So you need a last-minute gift, do you? 😰
WE GOT YOU, FAM 👆🏽
Happy National Cookie Exchange Day! Now THIS is a holiday we can all get behind! Whether you're in the mood for mandelbrot & hamantaschen, of the pagan persuasion and feeling peckish for Moon Spell cookies in observance of Yule, or more inclined to nosh on Christmas tree spritzes and gingerbread men, women, and non-binary persons, indulge in the spirit of the season with an interfaith culinary exchange!
December 22nd is also National Short Person Day, which is a holiday we can all get beneath — give your vertically-challenged pals an assist by grabbing something out of their reach or putting them on your shoulders today. Particularly if it's an ingredient in the pantry or at the store they'll need to bake those cookies you'll be benefiting from!
Technically every day is Short Person Day in my household. Boredwalk's co-founder & CEO Meredith is petite, and as she reminds me every time she yells across the house for me to get something high-up only to be reminded by me that there is a step stool closer to her than I am, the day she married me is the day she forever bid adieu to the tyranny of the step stool. Interestingly, that little tidbit was conveniently omitted from her vows.
Which is to your benefit, Nicole Richey! You would be horrified by the amount of dust up here.
GIF via Candidly Nicole / VH1
In Boredwalk housekeeping (and general shipping) news, if you were hoping to order something today and receive it in time for Christmas, I have good and bad news.
First, the bad news: only a few of us are here at the office today, and only for about half the day, which is going to limit the number of packages we're able to pack up and hand off to USPS. Even if YOUR package is one of the lucky ones, it's unlikely it will get to you in time unless you live in the Los Angeles area. Even then I wouldn't count on it.
But like the soft light of an Advent wreath or Menorah, a ray of hope exists: As depicted at the top of this email, we sell electronic gift cards! You could literally buy one as your relatives are walking in the door for the gift exchange. If you're just kinda so-so about them, simply forward the order confirmation email containing the gift card code to their best address.
If you love them dearly enough to spare the ink and saliva, print it out on the ancient inkjet your mom or dad insist on keeping around, fold it crisply, and present it to them in whichever holiday card you hastily grabbed on your way over to the agreed upon site of said gift exchange.
Regardless of effort level, it's the thought that counts!
If you'd rather celebrate yourself by engaging in some retail therapy, don't forget to use code SAVE15 at checkout for 15% off orders of $95+, not to mention free U.S. shipping on orders of $75+ — no code needed!
Finally, we are of course closed on Monday in observance of the Christmas holiday. I mean, you can (and should) still shop our website — it's not like we're turning it OR the internet off — but we won't be responding to emails, voicemails, or most other forms of communication until we are back in the office during regular business hours on Tuesday. Except to ridicule trolls leaving unkind comments on our social media posts and ads. Trolls never take days off.
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While you're waiting for your new Boredwalk goodies to arrive (or for those cookies to bake) you can also treat your earholes to the latest episode of the Boredwalk Podcast! Click here to listen on your favorite podcasting platform!
This week Meredith and Boredwalk content creator Tess discuss Tess's ailing kitty Jasper's recent tummy troubles and Meredith's and my foster cat menagerie. So many cats to help, so little time!
Meredith also talks a bit about the new products Boredwalk has in store for 2024, holiday plans (or lack thereof), and the great job Boredwalk's operations staff did getting stuff shipped out quickly this season. Huzzah!
Seriously, if you were paying attention to your tracking the last couple months — and didn't order something weird like a purple or mint green t-shirt that we had to order the blank for from out of state before we could print on it — you probably noticed that your order shipped the same or next business day from the time you completed checkout.
On the flip side of that, there's a troll fail that is unintentionally funny because his misogynistic comment was not the burn he thought it would be given the context. Better luck next time, troll!
However, it does spark an interesting discussion on aging, ageism, and sexist double-standards about aging propped up by tired patriarchal narratives.
They then react to fan responses to the Question of the Day "what's a topic you can't seem to understand no matter how much anyone tries to explain it?" Answers ranged from arguments against veganism to pro sports salaries to cryptocurrency to fax machines to contribution margins in business to the stock market. We and our social media followers contain multitudes!
Meredith & Tess wrap up by trading questions from the Venting & Joy editions of the Delve Deck, answering "what mistake do you keep making that you never seem to learn from?" and "what makes you feel most fulfilled?" Listen to find out their answers!
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Alright! Let's send you off into the holiday weekend with some notable events and famous birthdays from December 22nds of yore! If that includes yours, happy birthday to you! Celebrate with a cookie!
• In 1808 Ludwig van Beethoven conducted & performed in concert the premiere of his Fifth Symphony (aka the "Duh-duh-duh-DUH, duh-duh-duh-DUH" song), one of the most famous compositions of classical music in history, if not THE most famous.
• In 2010, then-President Barack Obama signed into law the repeal of the U.S. military's 17-year-old Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy banning homosexuals from serving openly. Huzzah!
• Birthday cookies all around for: 38th First Lady of the United States Lady Bird Johnson (1912), actress Barbara "June Cleaver" Billingsley of Leave It to Beaver fame (1915), singer-songwriter, guitarist, and bowtie enthusiast Rick Nielsen of 1970s power-poppers Cheap Trick (1948), English singer-songwriters Maurice & Robin Gibb of The Bee Gees (1949), rapper Luther Campbell of 2 Live Crew fame (1960), English actor Ralph Fiennes of Schindler's List, The English Patient, The Hurt Locker, and recent James Bond film fame (1962), Welsh singer-songwriter & guitarist Richey Edwards of Manic Street Preachers fame (1967), and singer-songwriter & producer Meghan Trainor of "All About That Bass" fame (1993)
• Pour one out for: English publisher John Newbery of Newbery Medal fame (d. 1767). Newbery more or less created the children's literature category by demonstrating it could be a successful and sustainable segment of the broader literary market. Also pay respect to English novelist Mary Ann "George Eliot" Evans of Middlemarch and Silas Marner fame (d. 1880), blues singer Ma Rainey (d. 1939), English children's book writer & illustrator Beatrix Potter of Peter Rabbit fame (d. 1943), punk rock singer-songwriter & guitarist D. Boon of The Minutemen (d. 1985), Irish author, poet, and playwright Samuel Beckett of Waiting For Godot fame (d. 1989), English singer-songwriter, guitarist, and punk icon Joe Strummer of The Clash (d. 2002), English singer-songwriter Joe Cocker (d. 2014), actress & voice actor Christine Cavanaugh, who was the original voice of Chuck Finster on Rugrats (d. 2014), and spiritual teacher, author, and psychonaut Ram Dass (d. 2019)
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OK, that's it for this week! We'll be back here in your inbox on Monday with another email — because everybody deserves to receive something fun on Christmas Day regardless of religious affiliation, even if it's just a rambling, snarky email — and MAYBE a fresh customer Q&A! If you'd like to be featured in an upcoming email reply to this and let us know!
Peace, love, and cookies,
Matt