A little something to wet your whistle 🚰

LOL, JUST KIDDING. YOU'LL HAVE TO DISTILL IT YOURSELF!

Happy National Bootlegger's Day! Weird to celebrate a criminal activity, but since January 17th is both Al Capone's birthday AND the anniversary of the enactment of the Volstead Act, which prohibited the sale of alcohol in the U.S. beginning in 1920, I suppose it's fitting.

All I know about Al Capone I learned from The Untouchables. Mostly that he was an avid baseball fan.

GIF courtesy of The Untouchables / Paramount Pictures

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Alright, before we get to those links let's acknowledge some notable events and famous birthdays from January 17ths of yore. Maybe yours! If it is, happy birthday!

• As mentioned, in 1920 the prohibition of the sale of alcohol began in the United States as a result of the Volstead Act taking effect

• Birthday cake all around for: English author & poet Anne Brontë (1820), film producer & Universal Studios co-founder Carl Laemmle (1867), mob boss & baseball fan Al Capone (1899), actress & national treasure Betty White (1922), actress, singer, and presumable cat enthusiast Eartha Kitt (1927), actor James Earl Jones (1931), boxer & activist Muhammad Ali (1942), actor & comedian Andy Kaufman (1949), English singer-songwriter & guitarist Mick Taylor of Rolling Stones fame (1949), singer-songwriter Steve Earle (1955), actor & comedian Steve Harvey (1957), singer-songwriter & guitarist Susanna Hoffs of The Bangles (1959), Canadian-American actor & comedian Jim Carrey (1962), former First Lady Michelle Obama (1964), English singer-songwriter & guitarist Richard Hawley (1967), Russian-American animator Genndy Tartakovsky of The Powerpuff Girls and Samurai Jack fame (1970), rapper & producer Lil Jon (1971), actor Freddy Rodriguez of Six Feet Under and Ugly Betty fame (1975), actress & singer-songwriter Zooey Deschanel (1980), and boxer & YouTuber Jake Paul (1997)

• Pour one out for: 19th President of the United States and lemonade enthusiast Rutherford B. Hayes (d. 1893), stained glass artist Louis Tiffany of fancy lamp fame (d. 1933), author & playwright Betty Smith of A Tree Grows in Brooklyn fame (d. 1972), and problematic chess icon Bobby Fischer (d. 2008)

Now on to the amusing links!

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1. 🛠️ No need to bring any tools...

..this furniture comes with its own!

The Alpha Female Podcast is back with more incontrovertible facts about the shortcomings of men, like their refusal to build IKEA furniture on the first date. IT'S THE SOCIAL CONTRACT, GENTS.

For more LOLs from our team be sure to follow us on our OG social accounts such as Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and/or Facebook.

2. 🤡 Make your firing festive in one easy step!

Just add clown!

3. 😬 This gives all new meaning to the term "Blood Moon"

Actress & comedian Anna Akana breaks down why no women have been on the Moon yet. 

4. 😤 Men only want one thing

And content creators Eva & Javier Gabriel know exactly what that one thing is: to win an argument with their partner.

5. 🤨 Work spouses: Like regular spouses, but creepier

The secret (family) is out!

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We'll be back here in your inbox on Friday with more nonsense holidays to dissect, more notable birthdays (and maybe even some notable deathdays!) to celebrate, and more witty content in general. Until then...

Peace, love, and unauthorized libations,

Matt