Already tired tomorrow? 🥱
Happy National Public Sleeping Day! If you have the ability to sleep anywhere, I envy you. I struggle just to sleep even in the most of optimal settings. The only thing I can do anywhere is be depressed. In a box, with a fox? I'm the Samiam of depression. My ennui is location-independent.
Today is also National Tooth Fairy Day, one of the creepier fairytale figures in my opinion, and that's impressive when you're competing with a grandma-impersonating wolf and a broad living in a house mounted on chicken legs. I'm not sure so sure Tooth Fairy should be getting a national day. Can you imagine the first time someone came up with this idea? I like to picture how the conversation went:
Hey, let's tell the kids there's this fairy who breaks into their bedroom at night while they sleep and steals their teeth?
Good grief, Esther, that sounds terrifying! Won't that upset them?
Nah, we'll tell them the fairy will pay for the teeth with trinkets!
Capitalism AND a penchant for collecting the mouth bones of strangers?! Brilliant! Let's take it to the youth!
Let me tell you, if I happened upon anyone's collection of teeth I would decidedly not find this whimsical, and if they then told me they were buying them from children that would not make it sound any better.
Time to go be frolicsome and purchase some children's teeth for my collection! Totally normal, nothing to see here!
Let's do a few birthday shoutouts for these Feburary 28th babies:
• Actor and comedian Gilbert Jeremy Gottfried, born this day in 1955. I first happened upon Gottfried in the early 1990s when he was hosting USA Up All Night, a series that had a seminal impact on my love of camp and low brow art to this day.
• Actress Alison Elizabeth Larter, born on this day in 1976. Larter has starred in some horror classics including the 1999 remake of House on Haunted Hill, Final Destination, and Final Destination 2. She also appeared in the TV series Heroes and the film Legally Blonde.
• Rapper and actor Jeffrey Bruce "Ja Rule" Atkins, technically born on February 29th in 1976. Since that day only exists every 4 years I guess we can give him a mention today. Rule has sold 14.4 million albums in the US and has sold over 30 million records worldwide.
Alrighty! Scroll on down to learn more about fellow Boredwalk fan Brandon W.! If you'd like to be featured in our Monday Q&A segment, reply to this email and let us know — especially since we are all out of new ones for next Monday's email!
We'll be back in your inbox on Wednesday morning with links to fun distractions! If you're in a shopping mood, be sure to use the code YAY10 at checkout to save 10% on orders of $100 or more! Until next time...
Peace, love, and exhaustion,
Brandon having a presumably adequate time in his Living My Okayest Life hoodie!
1. What's your actual day job and what's your dream day job?
I recruit people. It’s not my dream job, like having true talent and writing published books from a cabin in the woods. If not that, maybe owning a floral shop or nursery would be awesome.
2. What's your biggest pet peeve?
Racism? Discrimination? Oh, maybe smaller scale? Litterbugs? People on their cell phones while driving? People in general?
(Editor's note: They're ALL on The List.)
3. What's a book you think the Boredwalk community should read?
City of Girls by Liz Gilbert is beautiful story telling.
4. If you could have any super power what would it be and why?
Invisibility. Ohhh... the places I could go, including into rooms to lurk and find out that people aren’t actually saying all that about me… it’s just in my head.
5. You can curse your nemesis with a minor annoyance for eternity; what do you choose?
Inner nostril itch.
6. What experience do you most want to cross off your bucket list?
Hike to Machu Picchu. Hug Sarah Silverman. Shake hands with Eddie Vedder. Pet a baby lion. Bow before the Dalai Llama. Not in that order.
7. Where can the rest of the Boredwalk community find you?
Mornings I’m outside running or inside doing yoga mat. Nighttime, I’m probably at a 12-step meeting (come, join the fun!). Or, once a month I’m at The Moth storytelling show! Ohhh, you mean like social media? Yeah… I don’t do that stuff… I’m anti-social, except for LinkedIn.