BEHOLD! LINKS FOR JERKS, AND EVERYONE ELSE, TOO! WHAT A TREAT!

It's me, Meredith! Usually Matt writes these emails and I lurk behind the scenes suggesting links and trying to catch typos, but right now he's busy drawing some drunken fiends for sharing later this week, so I've taken over the email!

We'll get to the feast of tasty links in just a minute, but before we do that, let's kick things off with some cake and talk September 2nds of yore!

• First up, Happy Birthday to the dreamy and all-around-nice guy, Keanu Charles Reeves, born this day in Beirut, Lebanon in 1964!  He's not only known for starring roles in blockbusters such as Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, The Matrix, and John Wick; he's also known for his generosity and philanthropy. Reeves reportedly shared back-end profits on The Matrix sequels with the movies’ special-effects and costume teams and has launched a foundation that funds children’s hospitals and cancer research. What a swell guy!

• Do robots like cake? I sure hope so, because it's 01000010 01001001 01010010 01010100 01001000 01000100 01000001 01011001 time for the ATM! (That's binary for "birthday"). The first one started dispensing cash in New York City on this day in 1969. Beep-boop-ka-ching!

• Finally, a Ngày Quốc Khánh shoutout to Vietnam! On this day in 1945 Ho Chi Minh declared Vietnam independent from France.

OK, link time!

1. Everyone's so goddamn bored in quarantine, even the birds!

That's why this little lovebird has taken up skateboarding. You can check out her moves and mastery of the half-pipe over on Instagram.

2. Sick of waiting for Boredwalk emails to catch you up on history lessons you never asked for?

Swing by Weird History's Twitter account for fun facts, like the one about Leonardo da Vinci buying caged animals at markets just to set them free, or the one about Persians using cats as shields against Egyptians in the battle of Pelusium (525 BCE) — mainly due to Egyptians having a prohibition on killing cats. Sneaky!

3. We know you love books, but what about wacky book dedications?

OMG Blog has compiled a collection of some of the weirdest and funniest book dedications ever. My favorite? "I want to thank everyone who helped me create this book, except for that guy who yelled at me in Kmart when I was eight because he thought I was being 'too rowdy.' You're an asshole, sir."

4. Sandwich Bag Dad has been drawing "dad jokes" on his kids' lunch bags for 8 years!

Lucky for us he's shared them on Instagram and they are adorable. If you love puns, comics, and silly humor, this Instagram account will give you life.

5. The jerks are finally getting a journal!

No need to run out to the jerk store for this rousing read. Humorist Glen Tickle is putting together a magazine about the jerks you know. Just send him a few bucks and some info about the jerks who belong in his magazine and he'll not only feature your least favorite person in his disapproval digest, he'll send them a copy so they know just how terrible they are.