Flattery will get you everywhere? 🤨

THANKS, BUT NO THANKS

Happy National Compliment Day! Compliments?! Ew, gross. Keep that anxiety fuel to yourself.

All is not lost, though! Today is also National Peanut Butter Day — huzzah! One of my favorite ways to stuff down the anxiety and discomfort I reflexively feel when complimented is to pile as many peanut butter cups on top of it as possible, so I guess we'll call January 24th a win-win for ol' Matty boy?

Before we get to today's sweet link roundup, let's acknowledge some notable events and birthdays from January 24ths of yore! If today happens to be YOUR birthday, I hope it is a happy one full of peanut buttery delights! (Unless you are allergic, in which case I hope it is full of some OTHER, secret delight of your choosing.)

• In 1908 the first Boy Scout troop was organized in England by Robert Baden-Powell

• In 1933 the 20th Amendment to the US Constitution was ratified, changing the beginning and end of terms for elected federal offices

• In 1935 the Gottfried Krueger Brewing Company began selling the first canned beer, and 89 years later sent me on a wild goose chase to find a humorous GIF featuring (presumable) co-founders Gilbert and Freddy toasting to their brewing acumen. (Oddly specific, yes, but also this seems like something that definitely could have happened in the 80s or 90s and been caught on film — two entertainment icons at their cultural peak relaxing with some cold ones?)

Well, yeah, but...have you tried his canned beer?

GIF courtesy of A Nightmare on Elm Street / New Line Cinema

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Birthday compliments (if you must) and peanut butter cups all around for:

• Prussian king Frederick the Great (1712), who must not have been that awesome since his country no longer exists

• Novelist Edith Wharton of The Age of Innocence, Ethan Frome, and The House of Mirth fame (1862)

• Actor Ernest Borgnine of McHale's Navy, The Black Hole, Escape from New York, The Dirty Dozen, The Wild Bunch, The Poseidon Adventure, and The Devil's Rain fame (1917)

• Singer-songwriter & guitarist Neil Diamond of "Sweet Caroline", "Forever In Blue Jeans", Midnight Mass, and Saving Silverman fame (1941)

• Soul singer Aaron Neville of "Tell It Like It Is" and "Everybody Plays the Fool" fame (1941)

• Singer-songwriter Warren Zevon of "Werewolves of London" fame (1947)

• Actor, screenwriter, and comedy legend John Belushi of Saturday Night Live, Animal House, and The Blues Brothers fame (1949)

• Ukrainian-American comedian & actor Yakov Smirnoff (1951). Fun fact about Yakov: when he first moved to Los Angeles to pursue comedy he lived with two roommates who were also struggling aspiring entertainers — Andrew Dice Clay and Thomas F. Wilson (Biff of Back to the Future trilogy fame). Why no producers have made a show about this living arrangement has baffled me ever since I learned about it over a decade ago.

• English singer-songwriter, pianist, and TV presenter Jools Holland (1958)

• Actor, comedian, screenwriter, and voice actor Phil LaMarr of MadTV, Futurama, and DC animated universe fame (1967)

• Olympic gold medal winning gymnast Mary Lou Retton (1968)

• Actor Matthew Lillard of Serial Mom, Scream, and Scooby Doo film franchise fame (1970)

• Actor, producer, and screenwriter Ed Helms of The Daily Show w/ Jon Stewart, The Hangover film series, and The Office fame (1974)

• Actress, comedian, and writer Kristen Schaal of Flight of the Conchords, The Last Man on Earth, 30 Rock, and Bob's Burgers fame (1978)

• Actress & singer Tatyana Ali of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air fame (1979)

• Actress Mischa Barton of The OC fame (1986)

Pour out some canned beer for:

• Roman emperor and noted party boi Caligula (d. 41)

• English soldier, politician, and cupcake frosting enthusiast Winston Churchill (d. 1965)

• Comedian and Stooge Larry Fine (d. 1975)

• Lawyer, jurist, and Supreme Court justice Thurgood Marshall (d. 1993)

• British singer-songwriter Mark E. Smith of The Fall (d. 2018)

Now on to the amusing links!

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1. 😇 😈 Heaven? Hell? Tell me there's a secret third option...

Good news: there is! Hope you like Skyline Chili!

For more LOLs from our team be sure to follow us on our OG social accounts such as Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and/or Facebook.

2. 🎨 Don't be gelly — it's just art!

Seattle-based mixed media and paper collage artist Nadya Borisevich does some very cool stuff with old magazines and layered ink/paint!

3. 🐈 Big Chungus is all about that van life

#VanLifers Kayli & Logan may be documenting their existence in close motorized quarters, but I am only here for the van cat content. More Chungus, please! 

4. 🤑 There's no such thing as a cool billionaire

Comedian (and occasional Boredwalk sketch writer) Robert Schultz would beg to differ!

5. 🦹🏽 Finally, a glimpse into the inner workings of The Illuminati!

Comedian Nate Meeker and friends set the record straight. Shady puppet masters: they're just like us, putting in a hard day's work!

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We'll be back here in your inbox on Friday with more nonsense holidays to dissect, more notable birthdays (and maybe even some notable deathdays!) to celebrate, and more witty content in general. Until then...

Peace, love, and peanut buttery delight (or not),

Matt