December 02, 2022
☃️ Got the winter blues?
I'M RIGHT THERE WITH YOU 😔
It's certainly fitting that today is National Bartender Day since nothing will make you feel like drinking like it being cold at dark by 4pm every day.
I know I'm getting off easy living in Southern California, where our version of "cold" is 50 degrees, but to me it still feels frigid because I am a weather wimp. Plus, who am I to shy away from airing grievances? Do I really want to risk my own special place in Hell?
A fun comment we got on an ad for our Grievance Journal.
😡, I never said I was a Christian (I am not), but isn't what you're doing in your comment also complaining? See you in Hell, I suppose. Keep a seat warm for me!
It's not just the cold and dark that's a bummer, of course. There's the big macro existential stuff, but also my own reflection on all the ways I've generally failed at things in 2022.
I love airing grievances, but particularly love airing grievances about myself. So far this year I have...
• Failed at hiring (a lot)
• Failed at video content (also a lot, despite believing our video content is actually really amusing, and deserves more than a couple hundred views per video)
• Fallen off the wagon with a regular exercise schedule more times than I can count. I have compensated for this failing by also consuming too much booze and cake. If I went to the doctor I'm sure they'd be impressed. I refuse go to, however, because I have enough critics in my life.* No room for more, sorry medical professionals! If you wanna tell me about all the ways I am failing, you can get in in line! Be sure to bring a folding chair and snacks, it's quite a long one**
* I also refuse to go because I am an extreme haphephobe. I have tried to work on this, and surprising to no one, have also failed at making any headway on that problem too! Instead I just keep hoping medical providers will be replaced with robots, or cats, or robot cats. I would totally let a robot cat take my blood pressure and even let 'em complain that it's too high.
** Side bar, and I know this is old news by now, but because I am super old, I remember buying concert tickets by waiting in line outside of record stores at the crack of dawn so they didn't sell out. After the fiasco that was the recent sale of Taylor Swift tickets, I don't care it if it makes me sound ancient, but that system was better! There, I said it!
If you've ever once thought to yourself "wow, Matt and Meredith over at Boredwalk have it figured out" let me assure you, we 100% do not have anything figured out.
If anyone has anything figured out, it is my antique familiar, Oliver, who at the impressive age of 19 lives in absolute luxury, and naps for like 20 hours per day. Surrounded by plush throws, this tiny tyrant successfully demands dishes of heated food and glasses of ice water all day, which I give him, because he has me completely in his fuzzy thrall. Honestly, this guy should be a life coach, total legend.
"Bring me my monocle. I want to look rich!"
- Space Ghost (and this cat, probably)
Matt and I are busily finalizing products to release in January and helping our team get your holiday orders out the door, but here's hoping I feel like less of a failure in '23 (haha) and that you are more satisfied with your year than I am with mine. If you aren't, maybe your '23 will be better — or it won't, and we can complain about it together!
Let's wrap it up with a few famous birthdays and historical facts about December 2nd:
• Princess of Pop Britney Spears was born on this day in 1981. Here's hoping her '23 is a lot better now that she's no longer being held hostage in a conservatorship.
• Gianni Versace was born on this day in 1946. This Italian designer founded the fashion house Versace and designed costumes for theatre and films.
• Finally, on this day in 1939, LaGuardia Airport in New York City opened to the public. American Airlines was the first carrier to provide passenger service there.
OK, that's it for this week! We'll be back here in your inbox on Monday with a fresh email and a fresh customer Q&A! If you'd like to be featured in an upcoming email reply to this and let us know!
Peace, love, and season's grievances,