IF ONLY I COULD BAKE THEM MYSELF

Happy National Brownie Day! No, not the household sprites from Scottish folklore. Also not the 7-9 year old tier of the Girl Scouts of America. Definitely not the hapless NFL team from the great city of Cleveland. (Sorry, Browns fans. There's always next season!)

No, today's lesser holiday is all about those cakey, gooey, fudgy squares of chocolatey delight that I can never seem to pull off when I try baking them at home. 

I want to go to there. Or have there come to here. I don't care.
Just put the chocolate in my face.

A quick housekeeping note before we move on — if you have been procrastinating and have delayed ordering Boredwalk merch for Christmas or Yule, you'll want to do that today! The shipping deadline for guaranteed* delivery by 12/24 is 12/15, and since we print most of our items to order we need about a week to get them prepped for handoff to USPS. Our operations manager Marlene tells me that any orders received AFTER 7:00AM Pacific Time tomorrow morning (12/9) may still arrive in time, but we won't be able to guarantee it.

*This email does not constitute a legally binding contract. We're printing and shipping a ridiculous amount of stuff every day, but once we hand off to USPS we have no control over how fast they deliver, especially if your regular mail carrier runs afoul of a yeti uprising while attempting delivery.

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Before we get to this week's amusing links let's pretend we're eating birthday brownies in honor of these December 8th children of yore!

• Singer, dancer, actor, and comedian Sammy Davis, Jr., born this day in 1925! 

• Actor and comedian Flip Wilson, born this day in 1933!

• Singer, poet, songwriter, and Lizard King Jim Morrison, born this day in 1943! 

• Actress, singer, and fashion model Kim Basinger, born this day in 1953! Ms Basinger's highest-profile film role is still that of Vicki Vale in Tim Burton's Batman from 1989, but her coolest role will forever be that of the dancing corpse in the video for Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers' classic 'Mary Jane's Last Dance.'

• Singer-songwriter Sinéad O'Connor, born this day in 1966! Nothing compares...to the sales bump you'll get by stoking controversy and ripping up photos of religious figureheads on TV. 

• Rapper, singer, and songwriter Nicki Minaj, born this day in 1982! How fitting that her birthday coincides with National Brownie Day, as a quick scroll through Google Images indicates a predilection toward dressing like desserts. 

Now let's get to some amusing links!

1. Let's watch penguins play with bubbles!

The Oregon Zoo is keeping their penguin pals entertained with some ephemeral suds, and it's adorable.

2. Think those penguins are having fun? Check out this giggling fox!

Dixie the fox is fuzzy bundle of laughs, and it's contagious.

3. Cartoonist Dave Blazek pokes fun at...everything.

Flamingo physiques, the Big Bang, cellular division. All the sacred cows are gonna get it!

4. The Mostly ADHD comic finally articulates what's going on in my brain most of the time.

I was diagnosed fairly late, and boy, does this resonate.

5. Speaking of brains full of trivial facts...

This Twitter account will definitely help if you have empty mental capacity in need of being filled!

OK! Hopefully these little diversions helped to brighten your day! We'll be back here in your inbox on Friday with more random holidays, celebrity birthdays, (possibly) a new episode of the Boredwalk Podcast, and (probably) more! Until then...

Peace, love, and brownies,

Matt