December 22, 2021

Just out of my reach 🥺


Happy National Short Person Day! Like all the other inconsequential occasions we riff on in our emails, this is a new one for me, despite having spent my life unable to reach a damn thing in my kitchen or on store shelves. I married tall for a reason, folks, though it does mean we can't see eye to eye unless I'm standing on something.

The internet has informed me that I'm 30% less likely to get skin cancer, since I'm farther away from the sun, so at least I have that going for me. That and despite my advancing years, people still usually think I'm younger than I am. This can be a double-edged sword though...

"I just thought you were another kid to play with me because you're so short"

No, I do not want to play Candyland. Leave me alone and let me enjoy this martini, kid!

Today is also National Cookie Exchange Day, but I'm not sure I'm into this occasion. I have a high degree of confidence in the excellence of cookies I've baked, but can we really count on others to deliver the goodies? Pfft...we've seen how reliable people are in general, so celebrate this one at your own risk.

Anyway, let's learn more about December 22nd:

  • Today in 1891 the first asteroid discovered through astrophotography was spotted. 323 Brucia was discovered by Max Wolf and was named after Catherine Wolfe Bruce, an American patron of astronomy.
  • Today in 1882 the first Christmas tree to be illuminated by electric lights was displayed. Edward H. Johnson, an associate of inventor Thomas Edison and the Vice President of the Edison Electric Light Company, became the first person to decorate a Christmas tree with electric lights at his home in New York City
  • Finally, celebrating birthdays today:

    Claudia Alta "Lady Bird" Johnson, an American socialite who served as First Lady of the United States as the wife of President Lyndon B. Johnson from 1963 to 1969.

    Jean-Michel Basquiat, an American artist who rose to success during the 1980s as part of the Neo-expressionism movement.

Now let's get to some amusing links!

1. Getting to know the animal kingdom

Sad Animal Facts is a webcomic sharing stuff you never knew about a plethora of critters. The facts are usually more fascinating than sad, so don't let the name fool you.

2. Home Alone with Owl Kitty

Owl Kitty's humans work her into famous movie scenes with the magic of green screen. You can peruse their whole channel for behind the scenes footage, but given the time of year, we appreciated this Home Alone montage.

3. Life Coachers give terrible advice

Finally, the de-motivational tips you've been waiting for. This satirical Twitter account gives advice no one should follow.

4. Let's learn more about being a great otter mom

Adorable otter moms and their cute little otter babies star in this informative video about otter parenthood.

5. Totally 80s nostalgia

This Instagram account features a collection of magazine ads from the 1980s. Wander down memory lane with ads for Sanka and cigarettes!

OK! Hopefully these little diversions helped to brighten your day! We'll be back here in your inbox on Friday with more entertainment and Boredwalk news! Until then...

Peace, love, and batting stuff down from the high shelves,