LET'S GET WEIRD!

It's Wednesday! Well, technically it's Tuesday as I type this, but I'm not much of a morning person so I typically write these the night before. Just think of me as your (sort of) time-traveling compadre.

Let's cut to the chase — I know you're itching to get to the links, and I'm thirsty for an end-of-day cocktail, so let's cut some birthday cake!

• Let's wish an out-of-this-world birthday to astronaut (and first human to walk on the Moon) Neil Armstrong, born this day in 1930! What a guy!

That's pretty much it. I mean, sure, other people were born on August 5th — maybe even you! — but again, I'm thirsty, and we have all these fun links to click!

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1. An industrial designer for Tesla has developed some fancy chocolate chips, and they're about as expensive as you'd expect.

File under: so this is how the ultra-wealthy spend their money. While on one hand I appreciate the level of obsession involved with trying to make chocolate chips even more delicious than they already are, this article also made it painfully clear that at a certain income level you're bound to lose your marbles. I don't care if they're in the shape of Michelangelo's David, I'm not paying 900% more for a bag of chocolate chips because some highfalutin' pastry chef thinks the store brand is too "waxy looking" when it's heated in the oven.*

*But if someone else buys them for me I will absolutely eat them.

2. Self-described "Goddess of Go-Go" Toni Basil is going to teach us all how to be boss go-go dancers.

Mickey may be "so fine", but he also needs a new pair of shoes, apparently, so Toni Basil is trying to drum up the scratch for that via Zoom classes designed to teach us all how to be go-go dancers extraordinaire. If you're unfamiliar with Toni OR 'Mickey', here you go.

3. Screenwriter & playwright Topher Payne has a series of alternate endings for problematic children's books called "Topher Fixed It", and they're free and very necessary!

Look, I love the work of Shel Silverstein as much as the next late-stage Millennial, but the inherent lack of boundaries on display in his classic The Giving Tree is easily the most reached-for item in the narcissistic parent toolbox when trying to make kids feel guilty about existing. Bravo to Topher for calling this nonsense out via his reimagining thereof, entitled The Tree Who Set Healthy Boundaries.

Also, while the alternate endings are free to download & print out, he does ask that if you enjoy them that you please consider making a donation to the Atlanta Artist Relief Fund, which is helping to support artists who have lost their main sources of income as a result of Covid-19. Yay, worthy causes!

4. Enjoy cosplay? Then you'll probably LOVE this gallery of photos from Jay Kay Klein capturing the pageantry on display at the 1966 World Science Fiction Convention in Cleveland!

I'm not one to play dress-up myself, but I can't knock the appeal it holds for the diehard cosplayers out there. If you've ever wondered if you, too, could look like an extra from the original Star Trek series or Lost In Space, guess what? You can!

5. Does the young person in your life think the U.S. Constitution is dreadfully boring? It's not! It just needed a little pizzazz, which it now has in SPADES thanks to this new adaptation by cartoonist R. Sikoryak!

One of the reasons I find this new book noteworthy is that, like me, R. Sikoryak is something of a generalist. Could they specialize in one specific, cohesive illustration style? Sure, but then they'd miss out on trying on all sorts of different styles! It makes perfect sense that you'd want to draw Powerman himself, Mr. Luke Cage, busting out of shackles to explain the 13th Amendment, or Daddy Warbucks explaining Congressional compensation to Annie. So I suppose I was wrong when I said I wasn't one for dress-up — I just manifest it differently.