...WHEN YOU'RE A SHIRLEY TEMPLE 👨🎤
Happy National Rainier Cherry Day! I know — a Rainier cherry in its natural state is a far cry from one that's been chemically obliterated by Red 40-colored brine, but our Shirley Temple on the Rocks design is the closest thing Boredwalk has to a fit for this occasion. Save us, Luxardo, you're our only hope!
Not to be outdone by its blushing brethren, today is also National Blueberry Muffin Day! I love a good blueberry muffin. In fact, it's my go-to breakfast whenever I happen upon one out in the wild. Between those blueberries and cherries, I'm busting at the seams with antioxidants! I don't know what they do, but I've heard they're pretty dope from people smarter than me.*
*Pro tip: If you want to convince me of something, throw on a lab coat and some glasses and you'll already be 50% of the way there.
Finally, Happy National Mojito Day! Rum, lime, mint, sparking water, sugar? Yes, please! We are fast approaching the dog days of summer, and I demand sweet, fizzy refreshment, by golly!**
**The exclamation "by golly!" really is due for a comeback.
If Prince can make a song called 'Betcha By Golly Wow!',
it's good enough for the rest of us to use, by golly!
*****
1. What's your actual day job and what's your dream day job?
I'm self-employed as a digital tech on still photography sets, and a Digital Imaging Tech on video sets. Confused? Half the time, me too!
Basically, I'm both the IT guy for backing up and verifying all the footage and photos, and I occasionally get to tell people they're doing things wrong for focus and exposure.
My dream job, though, would probably involve making cool videos and photography on my motorcycle like Ewan McGregor did in The Long Way Round (and The Long Way Up!)
2. What's your biggest pet peeve?
Asking an expert their opinion when you know nothing about the subject matter, and then completely ignoring their advice and deciding you know better.
Even better when you hire them/me to provide that expertise, and then tell me I'm wrong when I'm not. Warblegarble!
3. What's a life pro tip the Boredwalk community needs to know?
Don't ask your creative friends to photograph your wedding. If they're working, they can't be hanging out as friends!
4. If you could have any superpower what would it be and why?
I want the ability to instantly soothe/cure aching feet/legs/back from standing around all day and/or just existing after age 35.
5. You can curse your nemesis with a minor annoyance for eternity; what do you choose?
They always end up with something stuck between their windshield wiper and their windshield so that they get streaks when it's raining.
(Editor's note: that is oddly specific; I like it!)
6. What is something you wish you could go back in time and say to your younger self?
It's ok to be you. It's ok to decide to run your life your way. It's ok to be bi. It's ok to tell everyone else who's trying to say what you "should" do to f&%k off.
7. What experience do you most want to cross off your bucket list?
I want to go to every National Park. US for sure, but having been to the Bay of Fundy NP in Canada, let's see 'em all.
8. If you drink: what's your go-to drink? If you don't drink: what's your go-to dessert or snack?
Jack's Abbey Blood Orange Lager and a goddamned perfect Mojito are pretty much tied in my books these days...
(A mojito, you say? Well I guess it's pretty serendipitous you're featured in today's email!)
9. Clear up a misconception (about your job, where you are from, some other topic you know a lot about).
Contrary to popular belief, most food photography isn't all done with glue, steam, clay, etc. While we may use those to get the lighting perfect, there are laws in place that what you're selling has to be real and represented as such. We may use different kinds of cooking oils to give a good sheen, and it may not be super warm after sitting on set to be shot right away, but even then we try to keep it as close to table-ready as possible because it honestly looks the best that way as well.
10. Where can the rest of the Boredwalk community find you?
You can check out numerous "hey look I'm still active please hire me!" posts and leftist soapbox IG stories on my work-instagram @valitestech and you can check out my occasional motorcycle content on @valitesrides
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