October 28, 2022

😒 Our weekend plans? Same old same old. 🔥

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS COOLING OFF

Maybe it's just me, but it sure feels like things are heating up despite the approach of winter. As The Bard (aka Raekwon) once said, "you don't believe in Heaven 'cuz we livin' in Hell." Touché, Raekwon. Touché. 

People getting heated in the comments on social media, war overseas, literal extreme temperatures, election season. We delusional apes keep searching for a replacement for fossil fuels when Bobby Axelrod had the answer this whole time:
 
"Hate is nature's most perfect energy source.
It's endlessly renewable."
Bobby Axelrod from Showtime's 'Billions.' Fueled by hate and pizza.
A slice of Nona pie will suffice in a pinch, though. 
 
GIF courtesy Showtime (and Brian Koppelman & David Levien's genius).
Another day in the hellscape, indeed. Not saying being fueled by rage & vengeance is desirable...but it is an option.
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But let's not lose all hope. It's the weekend, after all! More specifically, it's National Chocolate Day! And National First Responder Day! And National Immigrant Day!
 
These are all very worthy causes for celebration. Particularly that second one! If I were in the same room with a First Responder right this second, I would honor them with some chocolate — purchased from an immigrant-owned business!
 
Alas, I am in the same room with my geriatric cat Oliver right this second, and at his advanced age he will really only ever be a last responder from here on out, chocolate will definitely do him in, and unless you count his move from Baltimore, Maryland to Los Angeles, California, he has never immigrated anywhere. Heck, he is even snoozing on the same damn couch now that he was snoozing on back then! He's the only one not suffering through another day in the hellscape. Must be nice!
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Let's wrap it up with a few famous birthdays and historical facts about October 28th before we eat lots of salad this weekend to preemptively atone for a multitude of dietary sins on Monday evening:
 
• On this day in 1520 Ferdinand Magellan reached the Pacific Ocean. Pretty sure he'd have stumbled across it eventually, but what do I know?
 
 In 1726 Jonathan Swift's novel Gulliver's Travels was published. What fun! However just three years later he published A Modest Proposal, so I guess the hellscape is nothing new. As another bard once said, we didn't start the fire! (We just keep inventing novel ways to embiggen it.)
 In 1914 biologist & physician Jonas Salk — inventor of one of the first successful polio vaccines — was born. He made it all the way to 1995, probably in no small part because he dodged polio! Vaccines are so great. Can you imagine a world where people wouldn't unequivocally love them? I sure can't. (LOL, j/k! This is the hellscape, remember?)
 
 In 1952 actress Annie Potts was born! Sure, she's appeared in lots of great stuff, including Corvette Summer, Designing Women, and 75% of the Toy Story franchise as the voice of Bo Peep, but come on — she is iconic thanks to her roles in Ghostbusters I & II and Pretty In Pink. Pretty much every music obsessive born after 1970 first got the itch to own their own record store thanks to Iona.
• Today is also the birthday of robotic Joy Division/New Order drummer Stephen Morris (1957), feedback-happy Jesus & Mary Chain co-founder/guitarist William Reid (1958), singer-songwriters Ben Harper (1969) & Frank Ocean (1987), and actresses Daphne Zuniga (1962), Jami "Lost Girl" Gertz (1965), & Julia Roberts (1967)
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OK, that's it for this week! We'll be back here in your inbox on Monday with a fresh email and a fresh customer Q&A! (Speaking of which, if you've volunteered recently, be on the lookout for questions from me later today!) If you'd like to be featured in an upcoming email reply to this and let us know!
 
Peace, love, and fleeting respite from the hellscape,
 
Matt