January 03, 2024

So much for eating healthier in the new year 🍒🍫


Happy National Chocolate Covered Cherry Day! Personally I prefer the more efficient "cherry cordial," but who am I to flout convention?
Today is also National Write to Congress Day, which sounds like a major drag to kick the new year off with, but I suppose this is in keeping with all the other un-fun stuff we keeping cramming into January — endeavors like drinking less alcohol, eating more salad and less fried everything, getting more exercise, giving meditation yet another go, and generally pretending that THIS is the year we're finally going to get our sh!t together.
You never know — this could be the year it happens!
Dan Levy that's not gonna happen GIF


It is entirely too early in the year for your pessimism, Daniel!
GIF courtesy of Schitt's Creek
Alright, before we get to those links let's acknowledge some notable events and famous birthdays from January 3rds of yore. Maybe yours! If it is, happy birthday! 
• In 1947 proceedings of the U.S. Congress were televised for the first time. I assume today being National Write to Congress Day is a direct result of this. "Dear Windbag, I may dislike your policies, but not as much as I dislike your face!" - Signed, a concerned citizen with a ridiculously old timey name like Wilbur Aloysius Bumbersnatch III (probably)
• In 1959 Alaska was admitted as the 49th U.S. state. I imagine this resulted in some insulting correspondence directed at Congress as well.
• In 2009 the first block of the Bitcoin blockchain, referred to as the Genesis block, was established by Bitcoin creator Satoshi Nakamoto. Everyone who missed out on equally sound investments pogs and Beanie Babies in the 90s breathed a collective sigh of relief.
• Birthday cherry cordials all around for: Roman philosopher Cicero (106 BCE), social reformer & activist Lucretia Mott (1793), English writer J.R.R. Tolkien of The Lord of the Rings and related works fame (1892), English composer & record producer George Martin of "fifth Beatle" fame (1926), Italian filmmaker Sergio Leone of "spaghetti Western" fame (1929), singer-songwriter Van Dyke Parks, best-known for his collaborations with Brian Wilson and The Beach Boys in the mid-1960s (1943), singer-songwriter & guitarist Stephen Stills of Buffalo Springfield and Crosby, Stills, and Nash (and sometimes Young) fame (1945), English bassist, songwriter, and producer John Paul Jones of Led Zeppelin fame (1946), French DJ, musician, and producer Thomas Bangalter of Daft Punk fame (1975), actress Danica "Winnie Cooper" McKellar of The Wonder Years fame (1975), singer-songwriter & guitarist Kurt Vile (1980), English actress Florence Pugh (1996), and Swedish environmental activist Greta Thunberg (2003)
Now on to the amusing links!
The Alpha Female Podcast is back with an important PSA for fathers AND their sons: HIDE YOUR SHAME AND HAVE SOME SELF-RESPECT!
For more LOLs from our team be sure to follow us on our OG social accounts such as Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and/or Facebook.
Comedian & writer Matt Buechele has some thoughts on hydration. Turns out if we didn't have absurdly expensive water bottles insulting us throughout the day we'd all just die of thirst!
I truly hope that more women take up hobbies outside the home this year — preferably hobbies predominantly enjoyed by the men in their lives.
Boredwalk co-founder Meredith never misses an opportunity to remind me that when we first met I was a fan of (some) rom-coms. Why this amuses her so much I have no idea, but this breakdown of the similarities between one of my favorites (1998's You've Got Mail) and its primary antecedent (1940's The Shop Around the Corner) does an excellent job of showing how the more things change, the more they stay the same. I fully expect any day now to see trailers for 2024's You've Got Unread DMs.
Comedian Jared Ewy goes around righting wrongs by rotating sewer coverings.
OK! Right now I am in the weeds trying to get our Facebook & Instagram ads to stop sucking, but I am hoping to spend SOME time this week working on new art for your lovely torso. Wish me luck!

We'll be back here in your inbox on Friday with more nonsense holidays to dissect, more notable birthdays (and maybe even some notable deathdays!) to celebrate, and more witty content in general. Until then...

Peace, love, and chocolate-smeared letters to Congress,