So you need a last-minute gift, do you? 😰

WE GOT YOU, FAM 👆🏽

Happy National Cookie Exchange Day! Now THIS is a holiday we can all get behind! Whether you're in the mood for mandelbrot & hamantaschen, of the pagan persuasion and feeling peckish for Moon Spell cookies in observance of Yule, or more inclined to nosh on Christmas tree spritzes and gingerbread men, women, and non-binary persons, indulge in the spirit of the season with an interfaith culinary exchange!

December 22nd is also National Short Person Day, which is a holiday we can all get beneath — give your vertically-challenged pals an assist by grabbing something out of their reach or putting them on your shoulders today. Particularly if it's an ingredient in the pantry or at the store they'll need to bake those cookies you'll be benefiting from!

Technically every day is Short Person Day in my household. Boredwalk's co-founder & CEO Meredith is petite, and as she reminds me every time she yells across the house for me to get something high-up only to be reminded by me that there is a step stool closer to her than I am, the day she married me is the day she forever bid adieu to the tyranny of the step stool. Interestingly, that little tidbit was conveniently omitted from her vows.

Which is to your benefit, Nicole Richey! You would be horrified by the amount of dust up here.

GIF via Candidly Nicole / VH1

In Boredwalk housekeeping (and general shipping) news, if you were hoping to order something today and receive it in time for Christmas, I have good and bad news.

First, the bad news: only a few of us are here at the office today, and only for about half the day, which is going to limit the number of packages we're able to pack up and hand off to USPS. Even if YOUR package is one of the lucky ones, it's unlikely it will get to you in time unless you live in the Los Angeles area. Even then I wouldn't count on it.

But like the soft light of an Advent wreath or Menorah, a ray of hope exists: As depicted at the top of this email, we sell electronic gift cards! You could literally buy one as your relatives are walking in the door for the gift exchange. If you're just kinda so-so about them, simply forward the order confirmation email containing the gift card code to their best address.

If you love them dearly enough to spare the ink and saliva, print it out on the ancient inkjet your mom or dad insist on keeping around, fold it crisply, and present it to them in whichever holiday card you hastily grabbed on your way over to the agreed upon site of said gift exchange.

Regardless of effort level, it's the thought that counts!

If you'd rather celebrate yourself by engaging in some retail therapy, don't forget to use code SAVE15 at checkout for 15% off orders of $95+, not to mention free U.S. shipping on orders of $75+ — no code needed!

Finally, we are of course closed on Monday in observance of the Christmas holiday. I mean, you can (and should) still shop our website — it's not like we're turning it OR the internet off — but we won't be responding to emails, voicemails, or most other forms of communication until we are back in the office during regular business hours on Tuesday. Except to ridicule trolls leaving unkind comments on our social media posts and ads. Trolls never take days off.

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While you're waiting for your new Boredwalk goodies to arrive (or for those cookies to bake) you can also treat your earholes to the latest episode of the Boredwalk Podcast! Click here to listen on your favorite podcasting platform!

This week Meredith and Boredwalk content creator Tess discuss Tess's ailing kitty Jasper's recent tummy troubles and Meredith's and my foster cat menagerie. So many cats to help, so little time!

Meredith also talks a bit about the new products Boredwalk has in store for 2024, holiday plans (or lack thereof), and the great job Boredwalk's operations staff did getting stuff shipped out quickly this season. Huzzah!

Seriously, if you were paying attention to your tracking the last couple months — and didn't order something weird like a purple or mint green t-shirt that we had to order the blank for from out of state before we could print on it — you probably noticed that your order shipped the same or next business day from the time you completed checkout.

On the flip side of that, there's a troll fail that is unintentionally funny because his misogynistic comment was not the burn he thought it would be given the context. Better luck next time, troll!

However, it does spark an interesting discussion on aging, ageism, and sexist double-standards about aging propped up by tired patriarchal narratives.

They then react to fan responses to the Question of the Day "what's a topic you can't seem to understand no matter how much anyone tries to explain it?" Answers ranged from arguments against veganism to pro sports salaries to cryptocurrency to fax machines to contribution margins in business to the stock market. We and our social media followers contain multitudes!

Meredith & Tess wrap up by trading questions from the Venting & Joy editions of the Delve Deck, answering "what mistake do you keep making that you never seem to learn from?" and "what makes you feel most fulfilled?" Listen to find out their answers!

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Alright! Let's send you off into the holiday weekend with some notable events and famous birthdays from December 22nds of yore! If that includes yours, happy birthday to you! Celebrate with a cookie!

• In 1808 Ludwig van Beethoven conducted & performed in concert the premiere of his Fifth Symphony (aka the "Duh-duh-duh-DUH, duh-duh-duh-DUH" song), one of the most famous compositions of classical music in history, if not THE most famous.

• In 2010, then-President Barack Obama signed into law the repeal of the U.S. military's 17-year-old Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy banning homosexuals from serving openly. Huzzah!

• Birthday cookies all around for: 38th First Lady of the United States Lady Bird Johnson (1912), actress Barbara "June Cleaver" Billingsley of Leave It to Beaver fame (1915), singer-songwriter, guitarist, and bowtie enthusiast Rick Nielsen of 1970s power-poppers Cheap Trick (1948), English singer-songwriters Maurice & Robin Gibb of The Bee Gees (1949), rapper Luther Campbell of 2 Live Crew fame (1960), English actor Ralph Fiennes of Schindler's List, The English Patient, The Hurt Locker, and recent James Bond film fame (1962), Welsh singer-songwriter & guitarist Richey Edwards of Manic Street Preachers fame (1967), and singer-songwriter & producer Meghan Trainor of "All About That Bass" fame (1993)

• Pour one out for: English publisher John Newbery of Newbery Medal fame (d. 1767). Newbery more or less created the children's literature category by demonstrating it could be a successful and sustainable segment of the broader literary market. Also pay respect to English novelist Mary Ann "George Eliot" Evans of Middlemarch and Silas Marner fame (d. 1880), blues singer Ma Rainey (d. 1939), English children's book writer & illustrator Beatrix Potter of Peter Rabbit fame (d. 1943), punk rock singer-songwriter & guitarist D. Boon of The Minutemen (d. 1985), Irish author, poet, and playwright Samuel Beckett of Waiting For Godot fame (d. 1989), English singer-songwriter, guitarist, and punk icon Joe Strummer of The Clash (d. 2002), English singer-songwriter Joe Cocker (d. 2014), actress & voice actor Christine Cavanaugh, who was the original voice of Chuck Finster on Rugrats (d. 2014), and spiritual teacher, author, and psychonaut Ram Dass (d. 2019)

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OK, that's it for this week! We'll be back here in your inbox on Monday with another email — because everybody deserves to receive something fun on Christmas Day regardless of religious affiliation, even if it's just a rambling, snarky email — and MAYBE a fresh customer Q&A! If you'd like to be featured in an upcoming email reply to this and let us know!

Peace, love, and cookies,

Matt