IT'S SIMPLE: FEED ME PIE
Happy National Pecan Pie Day! Pecan pie just so happens to be my favorite of all pies, so this is very exciting for me. I'm writing this at the tail end of my weeks-long cross-country road trip, though, so it remains to be seen if I can get some enterprising baker in Truckee, California to whip up a plant-based version for me. If not, I guess I have a weekend kitchen project waiting for me at home!
This may not represent how I LOOK in the kitchen, but it does represent how I FEEL in the kitchen.
GIF via Ariana Grande
Today is also National Simplicity Day, which in our over-hyped, over-stimulated culture is needed now more than ever. Here's a suggestion on how to simplify your life: do all your apparel & gift shopping at Boredwalk!
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Before we get to this week's amusing links, let's check in on some fun historical facts and notable July 12th birthdays, shall we?
• On this day in 1962 The Rolling Stones performed for the first time at the Marquee Club in London
• Have a slice of digital birthday pie for: Roman politician & general Julius Caesar (100 BCE), Chilean poet Pablo Neruda (1904), actor & comedian Milton Berle (1908), painter Andrew Wyeth (1917), English singer-songwriter & member of Fleetwood Mac Christine McVie (1943), fitness trainer Richard Simmons (1948), actor & comedian Charlie Murphy (1959), figure skater Kristi Yamaguchi (1971), and actor Topher Grace (1978)
• Pour one out for: Original Wolf Man Lon Chaney, Jr. (d. 1973), author Harvey Pekar (d. 2010), and actress Kelly Preston (d. 2020)
Now on to the amusing links!
Grace & Tess run down a list of 6 summer activities you should definitely avoid if you want to keep your cool AND your sanity.
For more LOLs from our team (or to leave troll comments!) be sure to follow us on Instagram, TikTok and/or YouTube.
2. 🧙🏽♀️ Burn that sage, see?
Voice actor Tawny Platis updates this 1950s educational film with much more interesting narration!
3. 🐻 Bubblin' bear
Where does a 600 lb. bear beat the heat? Anywhere it wants.
I hope you're prepared for irksome conversations with insufferable hipsters!
...but loves them dark. Check out her goth garden, full of stygian stamens!
OK! We'll be back here in your inbox on Friday — possibly with more nonsense holidays to dissect, more notable birthdays (and maybe even some notable deathdays!) to celebrate, and more witty content in general. Until then...
Peace, love, and pecan pie,
Matt
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