June 09, 2023

Vilify me like one of your 🐍-haired girls

ONCE I DEVELOP A GLARE THAT TURNS MEN TO STONE IT'S OVER FOR THE HATERS

Happy National Seggs Day! This is what we're reduced to: modifying commonplace words to get around the puritanical gatekeeping of robots who presumably blush at the mere typing of S-E-X. sigh This timeline gets stupider by the minute.
 
You know who probably didn't do much blushing? Gorgons. Medusa and her sisters Stheno and Euryale strike us as dynamic, empowered women who get after what they want, regardless of societal mores.
And clearly what they want is for dudes to be seen and not heard, preferably in the form of impeccably sculpted masonry. Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder: ancient Greeks may have seen murder, but the Gorgons merely saw home decor items. The female gaze is a powerful thing. This is why we decided to honor this icon of feminine power with today's new release!
 
A quick side note about the image above: that obtrusive "new release" label is NOT part of this sweet new Medusa design — we're simply trying something different to make it a little more inconvenient for the thieves who like to steal and profit from our art to do so. We fully expect those idiots to just print that "new release" label on their crappy counterfeits as-is since original thought is already something of a struggle for them.
Destro G.I. Joe bottomless stupidity gif
Amen to that, Destro.
 
GIF via G.I. Joe
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Moving along...all is not lost on the random occasion front! Today is also National Meal Prep Day, National Strawberry Rhubarb Pie Day, and National Dark 'n Stormy Day!
 
I don't have a lot of time for meal prep myself, but if pie is in the offing...I could be enticed. And while I've been laying off the sauce the last couple months, I still love me some ginger beer. What is a rum-less Dark 'n Stormy called? A Pale 'n Stormy? Just a Stormy? Probably just ginger beer, but that just doesn't have the same je ne sais quois of menace as a name with the word "stormy" in it. Oh well. 
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Want some more amusement? Check out the newest episode of the Boredwalk podcast! This week Boredwalk co-founder Meredith chatted with Tess from the content team about going out in public as introverts, scammy influencers, cat callers who have sadly not yet been turned to stone, and dishing on their most expensive mistakes and favorite summer drinks. They also answered a question or two from our Delve Deck. Listen on your favorite podcasting platform or, even better, watch them on YouTube!
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Let's kick off the weekend with a few famous June 9th birthdays and historical facts to impress your friends with:
 
• In 1954 special counsel for the U.S. Army Joseph N. Welch finally speaks truth to (literally) drunken power when he lashes out at famously soused Senator Joseph McCarthy during the Army-McCarthy hearings, saying "You've done enough. Have you no sense of decency, sir, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?" It marked the beginning of the end of McCarthy's reign of anti-communist terror, and was later used to great effect as a found sound in R.E.M.'s 1987 song 'Exhuming McCarthy.'
• On this day in 1973 Secretariat won the U.S. Triple Crown of horse racing. Horse racing is so weird. Humans use it as an excuse to wear fancy hats and get day-drunk on mint juleps (which Meredith & Tess discuss in this week's podcast episode), while the horses get...an extra bag of oats? A few more carrots than usual? Not being immediately sent to the glue factory? Like, how did this victory appreciably impact the actual athlete's life? Inquiring Matts would like to know!
• Eat a slice of birthday cake for: Russian emperor Peter the Great (1672), composer & songwriter Cole Porter (1891), songwriter & guitar icon Les Paul (1915), singer-songwriter Jackie "Mr. Excitement" Wilson (1934), actor, activist, and 80s heartthrob Michael J. Fox (1961), musician and Muse frontman Matt Bellamy (1978), actress Natalie Portman (1981), and actress Mae Whitman (1988)
 
• Pour one out for: Roman emperor/fiddle player Nero (68 CE), English novelist Charles Dickens (1870), suffragist Victoria Woodhull (1927), rapper Bushwick Bill (2019), singer-songwriter Julee Cruise (2022), and Batman Adam West (2017). I really hope that wherever he is, he's doing the Batusi.
Batman doing the Batusi
OK, that's it for this week! We'll be back here in your inbox on Monday with another email and (hopefully) a fresh customer Q&A! If you'd like to be featured in an upcoming email reply to this and let us know!
 
Peace, love, and gorgons,
 
Matt & Meredith
 
p.s. - On a quick housekeeping note, please don't despair if you send an email to us this morning or afternoon and we don't immediately respond! We'll reply on Monday. We are shutting down around noon today to take the team out for food & drinks and to blow off some steam. They've earned it!