February 02, 2024

❄️ We'll give you a winter prediction:

Exhausted By Existence T-Shirt


Happy Groundhog Day! I have it on good authority that our prognosticating pal Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow up on Gobbler's Knob this morning (regardless of what the internet claims), so prepare to enjoy another 6 infinities of misery!

Our other friend Phil — a prognosticator of weather — has the forecast for us! What say you, Phil?

Cold grey winter Groundhog Day gif

Same as it ever was!

Forgive my exhaustion with existence, but I'm writing this after 75+ minutes on chat support with "Miguel" over at Meta to figure out why their vaunted algorithm elected to replace our Facebook & Instagram Shop banner that was something normal — like, y'know, a product photo — with a generic sizing chart graphic.

Miguel's answer? "Who can say why robots do the things they do?"

You're right, Miguel! Clearly not me! Clearly not you! Clearly not even Zuck. He's FAR too busy kickboxing some lackey in the face on a private beach in Hawaii to worry himself with petty human concerns like making sure his $120 BILLION dollar product works properly for his paying customers like some jabroni at Boredwalk (aka me)!

Anyway, enough of my whining about all my terrible life decisions!

Moving on to other topics...Happy National Catchers Day! We are a mere week away from when pitchers and catchers begin reporting to their various Spring Training facilities, and right now baseball season is pretty much the ONLY thing I have to look forward to, so huzzah to you, catchers!

My favorite factoid about catchers is that their equipment is derisively nicknamed "the tools of ignorance," in reference to the irony that a player with the intelligence to be effective at his job behind the plate would be foolish enough to play a position requiring so much safety gear.

Obviously Herold "Muddy" Ruel, who coined the term, never relied on Meta products to do his job.
While you're waiting for your new Boredwalk gear to arrive you can also treat your earholes to the latest episode of the Boredwalk Podcast! Click here to listen on your favorite podcasting platform!
This week my co-founder Meredith sat down with Gabe Sanchez from Boredwalk's content creator team to discuss muddling along in our dystopian hellscape, freshly baked bad behavior in her personal life, and recent positive and negative feedback from customers and internet trolls, respectively.
They then read and react to fan responses to the Question of the Day "what's your 'no good deed goes unpunished' story?" As you can imagine, it led to some truly bonkers stories. Our takeaway? Don't do good deeds!
The episode wraps up with Meredith & Gabe trading answers to the questions "what social stigma do we need to get rid of?" and "what's your favorite thing that someone you love does?" from the Delve Deck Venting and Joy Editions. Listen to hear their answers!
Alright! Let's send you off into the weekend with some notable events and famous birthdays from February 2nds of yore! If that includes yours, happy birthday to you!
• In 1709 Scottish sailor Alexander Selkirk was rescued after being shipwrecked on a desert island over four years earlier. His story would inspire Daniel Defoe's adventure novel Robinson Crusoe.
• In 1876 Major League Baseball's National League was formed
In 1887 the first Groundhog Day was observed in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania
• In 1900 Boston, Detroit, Milwaukee, Baltimore, Chicago, and St. Louis agreed to form Major League Baseball's (superior) American League
• In 1925 dog sleds reached Nome, Alaska with diphtheria serum, inspiring the Iditarod race and the 1995 animated film Balto
Birthday Heavenly Hash (because it's also National Heavenly Hash Day!) all around for: Irish novelist James Joyce of Ulysses fame (1882), Russian-born "American" novelist, "philosopher," and spoiled-whiner-in-desperate-need-of-an-editor Ayn Rand (1905), saxophonist Stan Getz (1927), comedian & activist Tom Smothers of Smothers Brothers fame (1937), English singer-songwriter & guitarist Graham Nash of The Hollies and Crosby, Stills, and Nash — and sometimes Young — fame (1942), actress Farrah Fawcett of Charlie's Angels fame (1947), chef & author Ina Garten of The Barefoot Contessa fame (1948), actor Brent Spiner of Star Trek: The Next Generation fame (1949), actress & model Christie Brinkley of National Lampoon's Vacation fame (1954), bassist & songwriter Robert DeLeo of Stone Temple Pilots fame (1966), and Colombian singer-songwriter Shakira (1977)
Pour one out for: English actor and horror icon Boris Karloff of Frankenstein, Bride of Frankenstein, Son of Frankenstein, The Mummy, and How the Grinch Stole Christmas! fame (d. 1969), English mathematician & philosopher Bertrand Russell (d. 1970), English "singer" and "bassist" Sid Vicious of Sex Pistols infamy (d. 1979), English-French actor Donald Pleasance of The Great Escape, Escape from New York, and Halloween film franchise fame (d. 1995; so much escaping, but not from grim Death!), actor, singer, dancer, director, and choreographer Gene Kelly of Singin' in the Rain and Anchors Aweigh fame (d. 1996), singer-songwriter Paul Baloff of metal band Exodus fame (d. 2002), and actor & filmmaker Philip Seymour Hoffman of Boogie Nights, The Big Lebowski, Twister, Magnolia, and Almost Famous fame (d. 2014)
OK, that's it for this week! Meredith and I are extremely eager to get back to working on new art and other products for you, but as you can tell, Meta doesn't want any of us to have nice things.
We'll be back here in your inbox on Monday with another email and maybe a fresh customer Q&A! If you'd like to be featured in an upcoming email reply to this and let us know!
Peace, love, and infinite winter,