What an interesting new smell you've discovered!👃
THANKS, IT'S LICE FEVER!🤢
Happy National Sangria Day! Why December 20th was selected to celebrate an iced beverage is beyond me, but then it was just seven days ago that Big Ice Cream tried to horn in on wintry foodstuffs' turf, so I can't say I'm that surprised.
However, I was surprised to learn that sangria and mulled wine are both derived from the ancient Greek & Roman drink hippocras and that it's totally normal to drink warm sangria this time of year. The more you know!
Today is also Sacagawea Day, which is great — we should definitely pay respect to the young woman who helped the Lewis & Clark expedition navigate the lands "purchased" by the U.S. from France in 1803 that were in no way stolen from indigenous peoples.* Less great is that we celebrate Sacagawea on the day of her death by *checks notes* "putrid fever," which is apparently the catchier nickname of louse-borne typhus. Grrrr-osss.
* This is sarcasm. They were definitely stolen from indigenous peoples by a succession of white European land speculators masquerading as governments. Don't @ me.
That would be the lice typhus, Squidward. Keep up!
GIF courtesy of SpongeBob SquarePants / Nickelodeon
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Alright, before we get to those links let's acknowledge some notable events and famous birthdays from December 20ths of yore. Maybe yours! If it is, happy birthday!
• In 1803 the aforementioned Louisiana "Purchase" was completed at a ceremony in New Orleans
• In 1940 Captain America Comics #1, featuring Captain America's first appearance, was published
• In 1946 It's a Wonderful Life premiered at New York's Globe Theatre to mixed reviews
• In 2019 the *sigh* United States Space Force (🙄) became the first new branch of the U.S. military since 1947
• Birthday treats all around for: Singer-songwriter, drummer, and producer Peter Criss of KISS fame (1945), Israeli-English mentalist & illusionist Uri Geller (1946), TV director, producer, and screenwriter Dick Wolfe of Law & Order fame (1946), English actress Jenny Agutter of Logan's Run, An American Werewolf in London, and Captain America: The Winter Soldier fame (1952), disco and R&B singer Anita Ward (1956), English singer-songwriter & guitarist Billy Bragg (1957), singer-songwriter & bassist Mike Watt of punk icons The Minutemen (1957), bassist Jackie Fox of The Runaways (1959), singer-songwriter & guitarist Chris Robinson of The Black Crowes (1966), and actor & filmmaker Jonah Hill (1983)
• Pour some sangria out for: Explorer and guide Sacagawea of Oregon Trail and dollar coin fame (d. 1812), novelist & Nobel Prize laureate John Steinbeck of The Grapes of Wrath, East of Eden, and Of Mice and Men fame (d. 1968), banker, businessman, and Walt Disney Co. co-founder Roy Disney (d. 1971), singer-songwriter & actor Bobby Darin of "Splash Splash," "Dream Lover," "Mack the Knife," and "Beyond the Sea" fame (d. 1973), Polish-American pianist & composer Arthur Rubinstein (d. 1982), astronomer, astrophysicist, cosmologist, and educator Carl Sagan (d. 1996), and actress & singer Brittany Murphy of Clueless, Freeway, Girl, Interrupted, 8 Mile, and King of the Hill fame (d. 2009)
Now on to the amusing links!
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1. 🧙🏾♀️ Speaking of Louisiana...
In the second episode of our new YouTube series Women's Rights and Women's Wrongs, Tess from Boredwalk's content creator team presents a mini-documentary about New Orleans hairdresser and (alleged) voodoo witch Marie Laveau!
We have a few more episodes in the works, but for this to become an ongoing series please watch, subscribe to our channel, and share it far & wide with anyone you think would appreciate our humorous historical takes!
For more LOLs from our team be sure to follow us on our OG social accounts such as Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and/or Facebook.
2. 👴🏼 Parents just don't understand
Creator Pat Mandziy takes us on a trip through time. Turns out parents have never understood their kids!
3. 🎁 Well I didn't see THIS coming
This is neither intentionally hilarious or even mildly amusing, but I do find it... humorously fascinating? ... that scientist Katie Steckles found a way to combine two of my least favorite things in a 59-second video demonstrating how to wrap gifts more efficiently using math. Gift wrapping AND math? At the same time?! Come on, Katie!
4. 🎄 I don't see it dominating the charts, but it's worth a look/listen
DJ Cummerbund creatively mashed up a smorgasbord of holiday standards — primarily José Feliciano's "Feliz Navidad", but also featuring contributions from Wham!, Rob Zombie, Rush, and more — with Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell." I can't say it improves on any of the source material, but it's certainly interesting and timely!
5. 🙇🏽 Stuck in a rut and unsure how to move forward in life?
Josh has the answer: start a cult!
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OK! We'll be back here in your inbox on Friday with more nonsense holidays to dissect, more notable birthdays (and maybe even some notable deathdays!) to celebrate, and more witty content in general. Until then...
Peace, love, and sangria,
Matt
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