March 20, 2023

What hath Monday brought? 🤔


Happy...National Proposal Day? Oof. Way to phone it in, March 20th. 
Actually, I take that back; today is also National Ravioli Day and International Happiness Day. So here's a proposal for you: save the money you were gonna spend on that glittery overpriced rock, spend it on some ravioli, and bask in the happiness conferred by a belly full of cheese-filled pasta. BOOM. DONE. Pathetic occasion crisis averted.
Jimmy Fallon you're welcome gif

My promise? That I'll be here solving false problems for as long as you subscribe and open, dear reader!

GIF via Saturday Night Live


As you read this, I am laying back in the dentist's chair, getting my mouth-bones scraped and poked in a vain attempt to prolong their residence inside my skull. Wish them luck!
My only consolation is that my hastily constructed March Madness bracket has me on the verge of 3-peating as the champion of my family's annual bragging rights pool. These are endlessly amusing to me, as I watch exactly ZERO college basketball games each year and make my picks thusly:
"Creighton's blue jay logo is way cooler and more visually interesting than Baylor's boring interlocking letters, and of COURSE UConn is going to beat Saint Mary's College — huskies are objectively adorable!"
See?! It's so easy! And I get to lord my third-straight victory over the more sports-obsessed members of my family for another 365 days. There really is nothing quite like pointless unearned arrogance. **chef's kiss**
So other than my supple ego self-stroking and bleeding gums, is there anything else of note about March 20th? Join me on an odyssey of discovery:
• On this day in 1602 The Dutch East India Company was established, whose primary products were corporate imperialism, genocide, ethnic subjugation, and tea & spices
• In 1915 Albert Einstein published his general theory of relativity, which is still used as the current description of gravitational force in modern physics
• Speaking of imperialism, it was on this day in 1956 that Tunisia gained independence from France
• In 1985 Libby Riddles became the first woman to win the 1,135-mile Iditarod Trail Dog Sled Race. See? Huskies! You can't beat 'em!
• Today also marks the start of the second Iraq War, with a joint invasion thereof by the US, UK, Australia, and Poland (oof, lotta imperialism happening on March 20th)
As far as March 20th birthdays, we've got: Roman poet Ovid (43 BCE), Norwegian playwright Henrik Ibsen (1828), actor/director/producer/screenwriter Carl Reiner (1922), man/myth/legend Fred "Mr." Rogers (1928), Jamaican singer/songwriter/producer Lee "Scratch" Perry (1936), author Lois Lowry (1937), actor/director/producer/screenwriter Spike Lee (1957), actress Holly Hunter (1958), and basketball player Mookie Blaylock* (1967)
* Fun fact: before they settled on Pearl Jam, Eddie Vedder & co. were going to name themselves Mookie Blaylock. True story!
Pour one out for: Pop/rock/country star Kenny Rogers, who gambled his last hand on this day in 2020 and discovered upon checking in that his condition was, indeed, terminal. Thanks for the tunes, Gambler!
Alright! Still no new customer Q&A this week due to lack of volunteers! If you're feeling even moderately outgoing and would like to be featured in an upcoming Monday email (and are a customer with some Boredwalk tees, tanks, hoodies, towels, bags, or books to show off), just reply to this and let us know and we'll send you some fun questions!
We'll be back here in your inbox on Wednesday with some more random holidays to observe, historical tidbits to acknowledge, and fun links to entertaining content! Until next time...
Peace, love, and ravioli,