"THIS IS FINE."

Happy International Day of Epidemic Preparedness! Whoops! Better luck next pandemic, I guess. Moving on...

Happy National Fruitcake Day! Speaking of epidemics, has anyone tried chucking a fruitcake at Covid yet? They're dense, solid, and chock full of vitamin-rich fruit, which supposedly is good for immune health. Maybe we've all been trudging around getting jabbed in the arm like a bunch of chumps for the last 12 months for no good reason?*

*The above statement is meant to be a joke, NOT ACTUAL MEDICAL ADVICE. As someone who is typing this from the discomfort of his Covid sickbed, please do not point to this email when epidemiologists ask why you refrained from getting vaccinated/boosted. That said, fruitcake IS gross and probably should be thrown at someone. **

**Again, this is a joke. Please don't assault people with baked goods. Even if they do have it coming.

Panettone. Pandemic. Did I just save us all? I think I did!

With any luck I will be able to get back to the drawing board later this week to work on some new tee designs (along with some of the other fun new products Boredwalk has in store for 2022), but in the meantime we have some killer deals on clearance items!

The frustrating fact is that a lot of the manufacturers Boredwalk works with have pretty so-so quality control procedures. We take great pains to inspect each and every item we ship out to our customers to make sure they're up to our standards. 

While we don't catch these issues 100% of the time, we do catch them roughly 99% of the time, but this means we end up with a lot of finished products that have minor cosmetic defects that are otherwise still usable. This is particularly true with our kitchen towel sets and Grievance Journals. 

So if you've been eyeing either of those items and waiting for a deal, now's your chance! Click the links above to check 'em out and learn a bit more about why these particular towels and books didn't make the cut. 

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OK, birthday time! Let's grudgingly consume some fruitcake in honor of:

• German astronomer Johannes Kepler, born this day in 1571! His laws of planetary motion helped inform Newton's law of universal gravitation. 

• French microbiologist Louis Pasteur, born this day in 1822! You know what Louis loved? Vaccination!

• German-born American actress and singer Marlene Dietrich, born this day in 1901! Ms Dietrich got her start in Berlin in the 1920s in silent films before moving stateside to star in "talkies" during the 1930s.

• American (finally!) actor John Amos, born this day in 1939! Mr. Amos is probably best-known for his role as James Evans, Sr. on the hit 1970s sitcom Good Times, but he will always be Cleo McDowell from 1988's Coming To America in my book. 

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Alrighty! Scroll on down to learn more about fellow Boredwalk fan Everett L.! If you'd like to be featured in our Monday Q&A segment, reply to this email and let me know!

We'll be back in your inbox on Wednesday morning with links to fun distractions! If you're in a shopping mood or still have people on your list to get gifts for, be sure to use the code YAY10 at checkout to save 10% on orders of $100 or more! Until next time...

Peace, love, and fruitcake (I guess),

Matt

Dr. Everett looking very authentic in his Impostor Syndrome tee!

1. What's your actual day job and what's your dream day job?

I am a psychologist and National Clinical Director for a chain of treatment centers. I also own a therapeutic survival school and do consulting on psychological tricks for magicians and mentalists on the side. My dream day job would be to be a stay at home dad.

2. What's your biggest pet peeve?

Bullies, 100%.

3. What's a book you think the Boredwalk community should read?

Happy by Derren Brown.

4. If you could have any super power what would it be and why?

I have thought about this a lot. The ability to say "Liar, liar, pants on fire" and if the other person is lying, their pants would literally burst into flames.

5. You can curse your nemesis with a minor annoyance for eternity; what do you choose?

The floor of every bathroom they walk into for the rest of their life is just slightly wet. Even better if they have to walk into them wearing only socks on their feet.

6. What experience do you most want to cross off your bucket list?

Seeing the Aurora Borealis in person.

7. Clear up a misconception (about your job, where you are from, some other topic you know a lot about).

Oh so many: that people working in mental health are constantly diagnosing others; that people from Texas are all gun nuts, ultra-conservative, or worse; and most importantly that your brain is in control of you. That one is actually the other way around. I get to decide what I want to think about and concentrate on, it just takes practice to steer our thinking.

8. Where can the rest of the Boredwalk community find you?

I am on Insta @dr.e.lamb, and can be found at texora.org or lambpsych.com