November 01, 2023

🥶 Winter may betray me...


Well, it's arrived — the dreaded official end of Spooky Season. Time to get back to "culturally edifying" cinema full of complex and well-developed characters and nutritious meals that don't begin and end with chocolate & peanut butter.
In fact, the closest we get to sweets today is National Cinnamon Day, which I suppose is fine, but hardly a sufficient substitute to wean me off this substantial sugar high.
It's also telling that the unofficial start of "The Holiday Season" coincides with National Stress Awareness Day (like I'm not already acutely aware of my ever-present stress) — almost as if the random occasion powers-that-be are acknowledging that "the most wonderful time of the year" isn't as wonderful as Andy Williams' ubiquitous 1963 holiday hit of same name would have us believe. 
Oh, well. At least it's also National Calzone Day. A calzone seems ideally suited for stuffing feelings of social anxiety and seasonal depression down deep. Pardon me while I eat my feelings.
Adam Scott Parks And Rec calzone winking GIF
Sure, I'll be dealing with low-grade depression for the next six months
and intense anxiety forever, but you'll never let me down, calzones!
GIF courtesy of NBC / Parks And Recreation
Before we get to this week's amusing links, let's celebrate some notable events and famous birthdays from November 1sts of yore! 
• On this day in 1512 Michelangelo's famous painting on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel was exhibited to the public for the first time.
• In 1520 explorer Ferdinand Magellan discovered and navigated the strait which bears his name for the first time, transiting the dividing line of the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
• Ol' Bill Shakespeare's tragedy Othello was performed for the first time in 1604.
• Never one to rest on his laurels, Billy-boy was at it again seven years later, with his play The Tempest making its debut on this day in 1611.
• In 1968 the Motion Picture Association of America officially introduced its film rating system, originally with the ratings G, M, R, and X.
 Birthday calzones all around for: Songwriter Jim Steinman of Meatloaf's Bat Out of Hell I & II and Bonnie Tyler's 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' fame (1947), singer-songwriter & guitarist Lyle Lovett (1957), Apple Inc. CEO Tim Cook (1960), Mexican baseball legend Fernando Valenzuela (1960), singer-songwriter & Red Hot Chili Peppers frontman Anthony Kiedis (1962), singer-songwriter & guitarist Sophie B. Hawkins of 'Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover' fame (1964), rapper Willie D of Geto Boys fame (1966), Australian actress Toni Collette (1972), and actor Penn Badgely of Gossip Girl and You fame (1986)
Now on to the amusing links!
And Tess. is. here for it!
For more LOLs from our team be sure to follow us on our OG social accounts such as Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and/or Facebook.
...because content creator Emeralds is gonna haunt you good!
I felt this confessional from content creator Carla Bezanson hard. If I can't order delivery or make a reservation without speaking to a live human, I guess I'll just give up on food and learn to photosynthesize or something.
4. 🎙️ Mansplain It To Me
Colin starts a podcast all about mansplaining things to female guests. It goes about as well as you'd think.
Artist Bridget McCarty makes teeny tiny miniature replicas of iconic sets from your favorite films and television shows. They're adorable!
OK! We'll be back here in your inbox on Friday — possibly with more nonsense holidays to dissect, more notable birthdays (and maybe even some notable deathdays!) to celebrate, and more witty content in general. Maybe even some *gasp* new art! Until then...

Peace, love, and calzones,