GARBAGE IN,
GARBAGE OUT
Happy National Blueberry Day! And National Chocolate with Almonds Day! And National Freezer Pop Day!
You know who'd love to get their quasi-opposable mitts on all three of those treats? That excitable trash panda on that sweet 11 oz. ceramic mug up there.
The good news? These mugs are frickin' rad! The bad news? We shipped most of 'em to our pals at Attic Salt, a cool li'l retail chain with 60ish locations in the western US, so we only have 50 left.
Sure, Attic Salt has a bunch, and we encourage you buy one (or ten) at their locations if you happen to live near one, but if you don't you'll want to snap one up fast before we run out here at our office!
Fun fact: while searching for this GIF I discovered that there is a Minor League baseball team called the Rocket City Trash Pandas in Madison, Alabama, which means I also discovered my headwear for the remainder of the summer my existence.
Not in a muggy mood? That's OK! We still have shirts and books and bags and other goodies! Regardless of what Boredwalk baubles you fancy, be sure to use the code YAY10 at checkout to save 10% on orders of $100 or more if you're in a shopping mood!
Speaking of books, ICYMI last week, we finished our next book! Samples arrived from the printer today and look positively GORGEOUS! Supply chain chicanery permitting, we hope to make it available to you, dear reader, by the end of this month!
Boredwalk co-founder Meredith and I worked really hard to create a worthy follow-up to the Grievance Journal, and while we're not ones to be remotely self-impressed, I can confidently say that we effing NAILED IT. I really cannot express how freakin' excited we are to unveil it in all its glory!
Boredwalk co-founder Meredith and I worked really hard to create a worthy follow-up to the Grievance Journal, and while we're not ones to be remotely self-impressed, I can confidently say that we effing NAILED IT. I really cannot express how freakin' excited we are to unveil it in all its glory!
OK, enough about my middling accomplishments. (See? I can't sustain personal pride for more than a single paragraph.) Let's reflect on some July 8ths of yore!
• It was on this day in 1947 that news reports began circulating of a mysterious crash in the desert near Roswell, New Mexico. This became known as the Roswell UFO Incident, which the majority of the public considered absurd until (sigh) Tom DeLonge of Blink 182 more or less single-handedly forced the US government to admit that yes, UFOs are a thing. I guess the Devil really is in the details all the small things.
• Just one year later in 1948 the US Air Force accepted female recruits as part of its WAF (Women in the Air Force) program. Capable enough to pilot fighter jets, but not their own uteruses, apparently.
• In addition to quasi-gender equality, guess what else joined us on this day in 1948? Just the greatest children's singer-songwriter to ever live. Happy birthday, Raffi, you Egyptian-Canadian genius! I hope you celebrate in comfort — wait for it — down by the bay.
• All due respect to Carolyn Jones, but July 8th also graced us with the presence of the quintessential Morticia Addams, actress Anjelica Huston, in 1951. I would never dream of subduing her, but she can still feast on me anytime.
• Today is also the birthday of actor and Hollywood connective tissue Kevin Bacon (1958) and elfin musical genius Beck (1970). Sure, 'Loser' may have come out when I was in 8th grade, but I still find it hard to believe Mr. Hansen is 52 years old.
• Finally, happy death day to actor Dick Sargent, aka Fake Darren Stephens, who replaced Dick York as Samantha Stephens' husband on the legendary sitcom Bewitched! He mercifully escaped Endora's endless insults on this day in 1994.
*****
Alright! I ran out of time to publish the triumphant return of the Boredwalk podcast for inclusion in this email, but thankfully Madeleine, Josh, and Grace from our content team have created not one, but TWO hilarious videos for your viewing pleasure!
Since we're Hollywood-adjacent, it made sense for Boredwalk to have its own "pilot season," so we're going to share some different pilots for potential ongoing YouTube series over the next few weeks. Let us know via likes/subscribes/responses to this email which you like best, and we'll make more of it!
First up is our "The Office meets What We Do In The Shadows" mash-up By End of Days, but if you prefer your video entertainment to be more "realistic" (whatever that means in the absurd hellscape that is 2022), you may enjoy Boredwalk On The Boardwalk, wherein Madeleine and Grace chat with randos in Venice, California about this, that, AND the other. Again, let us know what you think! Until next time...
Peace, love, and raccoon-y libations,
Matt
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