News
I'M not crying, YOU'RE crying! 😭
IF YOU'RE NOT A BLUBBERING MESS BECAUSE OF A CAR COMMERCIAL, IS IT EVEN THE HOLIDAY SEASON?!
Happy National Gazpacho Day!
I suppose early December is a fairly fitting time to celebrate a chilled soup, but since modern gazpacho relies heavily on a distinctly summery produce — tomatoes, cucumbers, and avocados are fixtures in mine — it feels like maybe this isn't the ideal juncture at which to put it on a pedestal.
But who am I kidding; if someone offers me a bowl of gazpacho today, there's no way I'm passing that up.
Hot, cold, lukewarm — if it has tomatoes in it, I'm in, Lisa.
GIF courtesy of The Simpsons / FOX
Alright, before we get to those links, let's take note of some famous events and birthdays from December 6ths of yore. Maybe yours! If it is, happy birthday!
• In 1865, Georgia ratified the 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, legally freeing American slaves
• In 1884 the Washington Monument was completed
• Birthday gazpacho all around for: Songwriter Ira Gershwin (1896), actress Agnes Moorehead of Bewitched fame (1900), Canadian-American businessman Irv Robbins of Baskin-Robbins ice cream fame (1917), jazz pianist & composer Dave Brubeck of "Take Five" and "Blue Rondo à la Turk" fame (1920), computer programmer and entrepreneur Craig Newmark of CraigsList fame (1952), singer-songwriter Chris Stamey of 80s power-pop luminaries the dBs (1954), English drummer & songwriter Rick Buckler of mod punk legends The Jam (1955), actor & comedian Steven Wright (1955), guitarist, songwriter, and producer Peter Buck of R.E.M. fame (1956), guitarist & songwriter Randy Rhoads of Quiet Riot and Ozzy Osbourne band fame (1956), drummer David Lovering of Pixies fame (1961), English singer-songwriter and DJ Ben Watt of Everything But The Girl (1962), filmmaker Judd Apatow (1967), and HIV/AIDS activist Ryan White (1971)
• Pour one out for: Singer-songwriter & guitarist Roy Orbison of "Only the Lonely" and "Oh, Pretty Woman" fame (d. 1988) and singer-songwriter Dobie Gray of "Drift Away" fame (d. 2011)
Now on to the amusing links!
1. 💍 If it's the holidays, it's time for a lot of "he went to Jareth's!" commercials
Screw Jared — people who want to REALLY express romantic emotion via fancy rocks get their baubles from Jareth!
For more LOLs from our team be sure to follow us on our OG social accounts such as Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and/or Facebook.
2. 💉 Worried about pox and/or plague? Get thee to the apothecary!
Renaissance person Colleen McCandless (briefly) takes modern medicine back to the actual Renaissance.
3. 😭 What is this salty discharge?!
Yeah, this Chevy commercial is emotionally manipulative AF, but even my cynical @$$ started bawling 30 seconds in and didn't stop for the next five minutes.
4. 🤨 Ew, literacy? Sounds like witchcraft.
Comedian Missy Chanpaibool reimagines pilgrim women as pick-me girls. Jedediah doesn't know what he's getting himself into!
5. 🎙️ Sounds like somebody shoulda gone to Jareth's!
Boredwalk's alpha female podcast is back, and they have a bone to pick with men who don't put out on the first date!*
*And by "put out" we mean "complete minor home repairs."
She bought you dinner, pal, so stop playing coy and get on your knees — that shower drain isn't going to unclog itself!
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OK! We'll be back here in your inbox on Friday with more nonsense holidays to dissect, more notable birthdays (and maybe even some notable deathdays!) to celebrate, and more witty content in general. Until then...
Peace, love, and gazpacho,
Matt
⛷️ It may be all downhill from here...
...BUT AT LEAST THERE ARE COOKIES AT THE BOTTOM
Happy National Cookie Day! The cooler temperatures may be bumming me out, but there are few things that warm the cockles of ones heart like freshly-baked cookies. Scrumdiddlyumptious! Bonus points if you can enjoy them with someone covered in warm & cozy fur.
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For you gaming enthusiasts, today is also National Dice Day! I prefer games that don't require die rolls, but to each their own.
And if your extremities are particularly chilly today, it would be a capital idea to celebrate National Sock Day!
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Let's kick off the week with a few famous December 4th birthdays and historical facts:
• In 1865 North Carolina ratified the 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. The state of Georgia would follow soon thereafter, and within two weeks U.S. slaves were legally freed.
• In 1909 the Montreal Canadiens ice hockey team was founded as a charter member of the National Hockey Association. It is the oldest surviving professional ice hockey franchise in the world.
• In 1956 the "Million Dollar Quartet" of Elvis Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins, and Johnny Cash record together at Sun Studio in Memphis, Tennessee for the first and last time.
• Birthday cookies all around for: Austrian-Swiss poet & author Rainer Maria Rilke (1875), singer-songwriter, guitarist, and bassist Chris Hillman of The Byrds and The Flying Burrito Brothers (1944), singer-songwriter & drummer Dennis Wilson of The Beach Boys (1944), actor Jeff Bridges of Tron, Starman, and The Big Lebowski fame (1949), actor Tony Todd of Candyman film franchise fame (1954), jazz singer-songwriter Cassandra Wilson (1955), actress Marisa Tomei of My Cousin Vinny and Slums of Beverly Hills fame (1964), actor & musician Fred Armisen of Saturday Night Live and Portlandia fame (1966), rap icon Jay-Z of "being Beyoncé's lesser half" fame (1969), and model & actress Tyra Banks (1973)
• Pour one out for: German-American philosopher Hannah Arendt (d. 1975), singer-songwriter, guitarist, and producer Frank Zappa (d. 1993), and singer & actor Bob McGrath of Sesame Street fame (d. 2022)
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OK, scroll on down to learn a bit about fellow Boredwalk fan Jay! If you're feeling even moderately outgoing and would like to be featured in an upcoming Monday email (and are a customer with some Boredwalk tees, tanks, hoodies, towels, bags, or books to show off), just reply to this and let us know and we'll send you some fun questions!
We'll be back here in your inbox on Wednesday with some more random holidays to observe, historical tidbits to acknowledge, and fun links to entertaining content! Until next time...
Peace, love, and cookies,
Matt
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Jay looking cozy in her Brooklyn 718 scoop-neck sweatshirt while adding to her Grievance Journal!
• What's your biggest pet peeve?
People who chew with their mouth open and men who cannot share a sidewalk!
• What's a book you think the Boredwalk community should read?
The Body is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love by Renee Taylor
• If you could have any super power what would it be and why?
I’d want to fly. I think it would be fun and I’d save on gas.
• You can curse your nemesis with a minor annoyance for eternity; what do you choose?
I don’t have to, as he keeps on getting fired from jobs on his own.
• What experience do you most want to cross off your bucket list?
I would go skydiving without the fear of puking and duking the run-of-green-sturdy fields.
• If you could make a mundane wish (meaning, a wish for something seemingly inconsequential that you still believe would benefit you immensely), what would it be for?
Take care of one of my beloved’s chronic pain
• What experience do you most want to cross off your bucket list?
Own a cat and dog at same time!
• What is something you wish you could go back in time and say to your younger self?
Get the offer in writing!
• Clear up a misconception (about your job, where you are from, some other topic you know a lot about).
Feminists can cook and have a great sense of humor!
• Where can the rest of the Boredwalk community find you?
I love the West Coast!
OMG It's finally here! 🤯
DELVE DECK EXPANSION PACKS ARE FINALLY HERE! 😍
This hot new release is months in the making, but if you loved our original Delve Deck, we're sure you'll love these two new expansion packs. This time we have a little something for everyone!
For the rays of sunshine: maybe you bought our original deck but wished it had even more upbeat content or you're one of those folks trying to work on your gratitude practice. For you, we present the Joy Edition. This deck features 150 questions about your favorite things, helping you hone in on what you love, what you're grateful for, and what makes you the happiest. It's perfect for bonding with friends about your favorite stuff and can even function as prompts for journaling or solo reflection.
For the rays of pitch black: you know you're my people! Like you, I too am a ray of pitch black and believe complaining should be an Olympic sport. If you enjoyed our Grievance Journal, this new deck is a must-have. With 150 questions, our Venting Edition is perfect for bonding with friends about all the stuff that drives you the craziest.
And before some so-and-so lectures you about how you shouldn't complain*, tell them to stuff their judgment in a sack, because complaining can actually be good for you (and let's be honest, it can be fun, too)! You can also direct them to the Joy Edition—like I said, something for everyone!
*Isn't complaining about someone else's desire to complain also complaining? Gotcha there, rays of sunshine! C'mon, admit it — you wanna complain, too. Come to the dark side, we have cake!
GIF via Blown Away
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Alright! Let's send you off into the weekend with some notable events and famous birthdays from December 1sts of yore!
• Sherlock Holmes first appeared in print on this day in 1887
• The Kingdom of Iceland was established on this day in 1918
• The first issue of Playboy Magazine was published on this day in 1953
• Civil rights activist Rosa Parks was arrested on this day in 1955 for refusing to move to the back of a bus
• Birthday cakes all around for: French-English sculptor and founder of Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum Marie Tussaud (1761), comedian Richard Pryor (1940), actress Bette Midler (1945), comedian Sarah Silverman (1970), actress & musician Janelle Monáe (1985), and actress Zoë Kravitz (1988)