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TIME TO FLEX THAT TAPPING FINGER AND ADD TO CART!

In case you just beamed down from space or are Rip Van Winkle's even sleepier cousin, today is Black Friday!

I'll get the discount codes out of the way now in case you are either new to Boredwalk and care nothing for my witty banter or are old to Boredwalk and just not much of a reader (or find my self-confidence in my wit misplaced and/or inaccurate):

NOW THROUGH 11:59PM MONDAY GET:

• 10% OFF $50+ orders with code FRIDAY10

• 15% OFF $75+ orders with code FRIDAY15

• 20% OFF $200+ orders AND FREE U.S. shipping AND a free spiral notebook* (while they last!) with code FRIDAY20 

*Notebook will be added to your cart once the $200 threshold is reached

Before you say "big whoop, what's so special about a spiral notebook?" I should point out that these aren't your standard flimsy $1 notebooks with a plain color cover and binding made of recycled braces scrounged from the dumpster behind your dentist's office.

Our notebooks feature sturdy 260 lb. cover stock on the front AND back, 160 college-ruled pages, Wire-O binding for 360º page turns that lay flat, and original Boredwalk art on the cover that many customers have literally framed and repurposed as wall art once the interior pages are full. Oh, and did I mention that they are made in the USA? Because they are!

Once these are gone, though, they're (most likely) gone forever. Want to examine the goods? Check 'em out here!

Of COURSE you do! Tomorrow isn't promised,
so get that retail therapy dopamine hit while the getting's good!

GIF courtesy ABC / Bachelor In Paradise

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Alright! Now to entertain the readers. Let's start the weekend off with some notable events and famous birthdays from November 24ths of yore! If you are among the birthday celebrants today, happy birthday!

• In 1877 Anna Sewell's animal welfare novel Black Beauty was published for the first time

• In 1971 during a severe thunderstorm over Washington state, a hijacker going by the name Dan Cooper (popularly known now as D.B. Cooper) parachuted from an airplane with $200,000 in ransom money and to this day has never been found

• In 1974 paleoanthropologist Donald Johanson and his team discovered a 40% complete Australopithecus afarensis skeleton in Ethiopia. It is nicknamed "Lucy" after The Beatles' song 'Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds', which played repeatedly all night throughout the expedition site after the discovery was made and sounds like a circle of Hell made specifically for Boredwalk co-founder Meredith: hot, dusty, and The Beatles on repeat.

• Leftover pie of their choosing all around for: 12th U.S. President Zachary Taylor (1784), French Post-Impressionist painter & illustrator Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec (1864), composer & pianist Scott "The King of Ragtime" Joplin of 'The Entertainer' and 'Maple Leaf Rag' fame (1868), writer & lecturer Dale Carnegie of How to Win Friends and Influence People fame (1888), English musician and original drummer of The Beatles Pete Best (1941), legendary bass player Donald "Duck" Dunn of Booker T. & The MGs and Stax Records fame (1941), Scottish comedian & actor Billy Connolly of Muppet Treasure Island fame (1942), actress, model, trans icon, and namesake of The Velvet Underground's 'Candy Says' Candy Darling (1944), drummer Clem Burke of new wave legends Blondie (1954), musician, producer, and songwriter Terry Lewis, who along with his partner Jimmy Jam was instrumental in creating the musical backing of many of Janet Jackson's biggest hits (1956), English singer-songwriter & guitarist John Squire of The Stone Roses (1962), English filmmaker Stephen Merchant of The Office fame (1974), actor Colin Hanks of Orange County, Roswell, Dexter, and being Tom's son fame (1977), actress Katherine Heigl of Grey's Anatomy and Knocked Up fame (1978), Welsh actor Gwilym Lee of The Great and Bohemian Rhapsody fame (1983), actress Sarah Hyland of Modern Family fame (1990), and my baby brother James (1991)! Happy birthday, bro!

• Pour one out for: Tanzanian-English singer-songwriter and iconic rock 'n' roll frontman Freddie Mercury (d. 1991; pour a cool dozen out for that legend!), actor Pat Morita of M*A*S*H, Happy Days, and Karate Kid film franchise fame (d. 2005), and actress Florence Henderson of Brady Bunch fame (d. 2016)

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OK, I think that about does it for this email! We'll be back here in your inbox on Monday with some more random holidays to observe — we didn't get around to it, but today is also National Sardines Day, and the less said about that, the better — more historical tidbits to acknowledge, and more of all that "witty" banter I'm so proud of! Until next time..

Peace, love, and savings,

Matt

...WE RELISH IT

Happy National Cranberry Relish Day!

Assuming you're an enthusiast, that is. Cranberry relish and/or jelly seems to be one of the more polarizing side dishes of a traditional Thanksgiving spread. I'm not the pickiest eater, but I have strong opinions about food and am ambivalent about cranberry-themed sides. I'm fairly indifferent to the canned jelly, but I've had some pretty bad homemade and store-bought cranberry relishes, which is why I prefer to make my own, which I love. Even better, the leftover relish really levels up vanilla ice cream!

It's also National Jukebox Day, which is quaint and sweet. I wonder if decades from now someone will try to make National Playlist Day a thing?

Chaotic-Evil pro tip: Next time you're about to leave a bar or restaurant with a functioning jukebox, buy $5 worth of the most polarizing song available as a treat for the remaining patrons & staff! Bonus points if it's Chumbawamba's 'Tubthumping' or Don McLean's 'American Pie'!

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Alright, before we get to those links, let's take note of some famous events and birthdays from November 22nds of yore. Maybe yours! If it is, happy birthday! 

• In 1718 Royal Navy Lieutenant Robert Maynard attacked & boarded the vessels of British pirate Edward "Blackbeard" Teach off the coast of North Carolina. Among the casualties was Blackbeard himself. Sad! (I guess. Maybe he was a jerk?)

• In 1943 Lebanon gained independence from France, two years after it was first announced by the Free French government

• In 1963 U.S. President John F. Kennedy was assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald. Vice President Lyndon B. Johnson was sworn in as the 36th President of the United States shortly afterwards.

• Birthday morsels all around for: English novelist & poet Mary Ann "George Eliot" Evans of Silas Marner and Middlemarch fame (1819), French general and President Charles de Gaulle (1890), singer-songwriter, pianist, and actor Hoagy Carmichael of 'Stardust', 'Georgia On My Mind', and 'Heart and Soul' fame (1899), comedian & actor Rodney Dangerfield of Caddyshack and Back to School fame (1921), American-English actor & filmmaker Terry Gilliam of Monty Python fame (1940), tennis legend and feminist icon Billie Jean King (1943), singer-songwriter, guitarist, producer, and actor Steven Van Zandt of E Street Band, The Sopranos, and Lilyhammer fame (1950), Talking Heads and Tom Tom Club singer-songwriter & bass player Tina Weymouth (1950), actress and horror cinema legend Jamie Lee Curtis (1958), Cuban-American rapper Sen Dog of Cypress Hill fame (1965), Danish actor Mads Mikkelsen of Casino Royale, Hannibal, and Valhalla Rising fame (1965), actor Michael K. "Omar comin'!" Williams of The Wire fame (1966), actor Mark Ruffalo of 13 Going On 30 fame (1967), software engineer and Napster founder Shawn Fanning of killing the pre-2000 music industry fame (1980), and actress Scarlett Johansson of Lost In Translation, Ghost World, and Arachnophobia fame (1984)

• Pour one out for: the aforementioned Blackbeard (d. 1718), actor & comedian Shemp Howard of Three Stooges fame (d. 1955), English novelist & philosopher Aldous Huxley of The Doors of Perception and Brave New World fame (d. 1963), U.S. President John F. Kennedy (d. 1963), British writer & theologian C.S. Lewis of The Chronicles of Narnia fame (d. 1963), actress Mae West (d. 1980), English novelist Anthony Burgess of A Clockwork Orange fame (d. 1993), and Australian singer-songwriter Michael Hutchence of INXS fame (d. 1997)

Now on to the amusing links!

*****

1. 😈 The algorithms have NO sense of humor

Tess, Grace, and Josh on the Boredwalk creator team (with occasional cameos from me and my co-founder Meredith) have been doing some of their BEST work lately — truly laugh-out-loud funny videos, like this one of Tess attempting to demonically possess Josh and me — that the FB, IG, and TikTok algorithms just refuse to show people.

I'm bookending this list with another one, but if you're new to Boredwalk I strongly encourage you to scroll through our feeds this week when you're trying to avoid family drama or slink away from the table before the asparagus mousse is served. You won't be disappointed! (Except by the asparagus mousse.)

For more LOLs from our team be sure to follow us on our OG social accounts such as Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and/or Facebook.

2. 🫣 Art historians are BIG MAD about this one!

Portrait painter and muralist Emma Kenny was commissioned to alter some old paintings for a new concept bar in Glasgow, Scotland, and hoo boy, are there some VERY upset art historians and preservationists losing their marbles in the comments, even though the captions clearly state that the bar sourced and owns ALL of these originals and ASKED Emma to do this.

It would be one thing if the original artists were still alive and were the ones complaining about this project, but they've all been dead for centuries. I guarantee you they do not care.

3. 😱 Just in time for the holidays — the Elf on the Shelf gets a makeover!

Self-taught sculptor Anthony — aka Ace of Clay — repurposes an Elf on the Shelf doll to make something a bit more Nightmare Before Christmas than Night Before Christmas. You can follow him on TikTok or Instagram for shorter clips of his process, but he's so talented I thought I should link to the full process video on his YouTube channel. Enjoy!

4. 😼 We'll see how long this gingerbread house lasts...

Crafter Emma Movius constructed a gingerbread house for her cats, and it is VERY impressive! 

5. 👻 A retirement plan for the rest of us

Worried you'll never be able to afford that dream home (or any home)? Josh lays out a compelling scheme to turn your dream into an incorporeal reality — die in a mansion!

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OK! We'll be back here in your inbox on Friday with more nonsense holidays to dissect, more notable birthdays (and maybe even some notable deathdays!) to celebrate, and more witty content in general. Until then...

ONLY HOURS LEFT TILL THESE DEALS DISAPPEAR!

Happy National Absurdity Day AND National Peanut Butter Fudge Day! How's this for an absurdity: I just now discovered that peanut butter fudge is a thing that exists. Today marks the first day of the rest of my peanut butter fudge-eating life! Huzzah!

In less-fun news, today also marks the waning hours of our early bird Black Friday event. Come midnight, all the codes below expire, so if you haven't ordered the Boredwalk gear you've had your eye on yet — either for yourself or for holiday gift-giving — now's the time!

Now through midnight TONIGHT get:

• 10% OFF EVERYTHING, STOREWIDE, with code EARLYBIRDY10

• 15% OFF $75+ orders AND FREE U.S. shipping with code EARLYBIRDY15

• 20% OFF $150+ orders AND FREE U.S. shipping with code EARLYBIRDY20

• 20% OFF $200+ orders AND FREE U.S. shipping AND a FREE copy of our Good Company guest book with code EARLYBIRDY20* for the first 50 customers!

*Yes, the code is the same. Don't worry. Our system will add the book to the cart once you hit that $200 threshold.

Perfect for the holiday season (but useful year-round), Good Company is a great way to commemorate family gatherings, holiday parties, and low-key friendly hangouts with writing and drawing prompts designed to give you an ever-evolving document of the fun times you've had with your favorite people!

Leave it out for your guests to add to whenever you have visitors and you'll be able to look back through their jokes and poems and doodles about your get-togethers with fondness for years to come.

Plus it's incredibly stylish and would look great on your coffee table. It's also a fantastic distraction for those rude guests that always show up unfashionably early. (You know who you are!)

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Alright! Let's start the week off with some notable events and famous birthdays from November 20ths of yore!

• In 1789 New Jersey became the first U.S. state to ratify the Bill of Rights

• In 1985 Microsoft released Windows 1.0, the company's first graphical PC operating environment

• Birthday Peanut Butter Fudge all around for: Astronomer, cosmologist, and space telescope namesake Edwin Hubble (1889), cartoonist Chester Gould of Dick Tracy fame (1900), singer-songwriter & guitarist Duane Allman of Allman Brothers Band and 'Layla' fame (1946), singer-songwriter & guitarist Joe Walsh of The James Gang and The Eagles (1947), actress Sean Young of Blade Runner, Stripes, and Dune fame (1959), rapper & drummer Michael "Mike D" Diamond of Beastie Boys fame (1965), rapper Phife Dawg of A Tribe Called Quest fame (1970), actor & comedian Joel McHale of The Soup and Community fame (1971), singer-songwriter Davey Havok of emo luminaries AFI (1975), Olympic gymnast Dominique Dawes (1976), and rapper Future (1983)

• Pour one out for: All victims of transphobia. Today is the Transgender Day of Remembrance, when we memorialize all who have been murdered as a result of transphobia.

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OK, scroll on down to learn about fellow Boredwalk fan Kimberlee! If you're feeling even moderately outgoing and would like to be featured in an upcoming Monday email (and are a customer with some Boredwalk tees, tanks, hoodies, towels, bags, or books to show off), just reply to this and let us know and we'll send you some fun questions!

We'll be back here in your inbox on Wednesday with some more random holidays to observe, historical tidbits to acknowledge, and fun links to entertaining content! Until next time...

Peace, love, and last-minute savings,

Matt

Kimberlee loving Scotland in her (sadly, discontinued) Scotland Is For Lovers tee!

1. What's your actual day job and what's your dream day job?

I just left almost 10 years of library programming to become a paraprofessional of deaf/hard of hearing children between ages 3-7. I have never been happier at a job. (As long as I don't think about the pay cut).

I have always dreamt of being a commercial airline pilot.

2. What's your biggest pet peeve?

Saying "good morning." Every teacher/school staff says it. I don't even want to be noticed let alone hear that they think a morning can be good. I think it might be a cult…

3. What's a book you think the Boredwalk community should read?

Ha! Never ask a librarian that. There is no ONE book. Have you been in a library??

For fiction I think the readers would love Tender is the Flesh by Augustina Bazterrica. Nonfiction: Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson. (Contact me for an extensive list of recommendations!)

4. If you could have any super power what would it be and why?

Protect all children. Enough said.

5. You can curse your nemesis with a minor annoyance for eternity; what do you choose?

Slivers under their fingernails they cannot remove so that every time they attempt to eat fries with ketchup, their fingers feel like fire! Then they will have to eat fries with a fork like George Costanza ate his chocolate bars on Seinfeld.

6. If you could make a mundane wish (meaning, a wish for something seemingly inconsequential that you still believe would benefit you immensely), what would it be for?

That I didn't need to rely on coffee to be a better human.

7. What experience do you most want to cross off your bucket list?

I can finally cross off Scotland!

So next would be to visit ancient Egyptian pyramids and see the hieroglyphs on the walls.

8. What is something you wish you could go back in time and say to your younger self?

Reader, don't marry him. Fall in love with yourself instead.

9. Clear up a misconception (about your job, where you are from, some other topic you know a lot about).

Librarians actually promote not finishing a book that you aren't enjoying, because life is too short and the TBR list is too long. And librarians like to talk. A lot.

10. Where can the rest of the Boredwalk community find you?

On Instagram @javadiva and on Goodreads.