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A CAT TRANSLATION APP?! I'M LISTENING...
It's Wednesday, which means it's time for some fun links, but before we get to that: Happy...Vichyssoise Day? Look, I like chilled onion-flavored cream as much as the next Francophile, but an entire holiday dedicated to a cold soup?*
*Real talk: I would be all over this if it were Gazpacho Day. *looks up "gazpacho day"* Well well well...guess what we'll be celebrating on December 6th?!
Thankfully today is also Apple Cider Day, which is much more on-brand for mid-November! Served hot or cold, you know what pairs well with apple cider? Bourbon! Use a cinnamon stick as your stirring implement — with OR without the bourbon — and you've got yourself a party!
You know what pairs well with apple cider (or anything else, for that matter)? Birthday cake! Let's have some, shall we?
• First up, happy (maybe) birthday to famed abolitionist and women's rights activist Sojourner Truth, born on approximately this day in 1797! Ms. Truth (born into slavery as Isabella Baumfree in Swartekill, New York) escaped to freedom with her infant daughter in 1826, and after going to court in 1828 to recover her son she became the first black woman to win such a case against a white man. During the Civil War she helped recruit black troops for the Union army, and afterward worked tirelessly (if unsuccessfully) to lobby the federal government for land grants for formerly enslaved people. This became the foundation for the request of "40 acres and a mule".
• Next up, joyeux anniversaire to Louis-Jacques-Mandé Daguerre, born this day in 1789! Mr. Daguerre — Louis to his friends — was the inventor of the "daguerreotype" process of photography, which was the first widely available practical photographic process and was popular in the 1840s and 1850s.
• Moving on, sling a moon pie in the general direction of Rear Admiral Alan Bartlett Shepard, Jr., born this day in 1923! RADM Shepard was an astronaut and became the first American in space in 1961 as a member of the Mercury space flight program and walked on the Moon in 1971 as part of the Apollo program. He was portrayed by actor Scott Glenn in the 1983 film The Right Stuff, which you should check out because it's awesome (or at least it was to me in elementary school).
• Last, but certainly not least, happy birthday to novelist, poet, essayist, and inventor Margaret Atwood, born this day in 1939! Ms. Atwood is perhaps best known for her "speculative fiction" novel The Handmaid's Tale, but she is also the inventor of remote robotic writing tech gadget LongPen, which allows the user to write in ink from around the world via tablet PC and the internet. It allowed her to conduct book tours without needing to travel, and the technology is still in use today. Even though she conceived of the idea in early 2004, it certainly is a device fit for 2020!
• Today is also the birthday of actors Owen Wilson (1968) and Chloë Sevigny (1974), as well as Mickey and Minnie Mouse, who first appeared in the animated short Steamboat Willie on this day in 1928!
Historically, lots of interesting stuff happened on November 18th!
• In 1872, Susan B. Anthony and 14 other suffragettes were arrested for voting illegally in the Presidential election of that year.
• In 1883 at noon, North American railroads switched to a new standard time system for rail operations, which they called Standard Railway Time (SRT). Almost immediately after being implemented, many American cities enacted ordinances, thus resulting in the creation of time “zones.” The four standard time zones adopted were Eastern, Central, Mountain, and Pacific. Though tailored to the railroad companies’ train schedules, the new system was quickly adopted nationwide, forestalling federal intervention in civil time for more than thirty years, until 1918, when daylight saving time was introduced.
• In 1978 in Jonestown, Guyana, Jim Jones led his Peoples Temple to a mass murder–suicide that claimed 918 lives in all, 909 of them in Jonestown itself, including over 270 children. Congressman Leo Ryan was murdered by members of the Peoples Temple hours earlier as he was attempting to leave Guyana following an investigation into claims that people were being held at the Jonestown settlement against their will.
OK, OK...you've waited long enough. It's link time!
Sometimes you've just got to be the yarn monster you were meant to be.
2. Dessert designer Liz Joy makes edible art that looks almost too good to eat.
Almost.
3. Turns out eliminating late-return fines is better for public libraries than charging them. Wild!
At least that has been the experience for Chicago Public Libraries, which saw an 83% increase in long-overdue books being returned once late-return fines were eliminated, along with an increase in usage of libraries in the system from lapsed library patrons.
Three words: switch blade orca.
5. MeowTalk is an app that (allegedly) will allow you to understand the things your cat says to you.
I say "allegedly" because some of the app reviewers were unhappy with the app's performance...but when your options are "zero understanding" versus "some slight, if dubious understanding" I feel like you've got to take what you can get when it comes to a $0.99 download, y'know?
6. BONUS: This is a great listicle of unsung women throughout history!
From computing to aviation to cartography to advances in medicine and science, this is one AMAZING list of humans!
Why You Should Boycott Amazon
I could give you hundreds of reasons to boycott Amazon. They're a terrible company run by a morally bankrupt monster. The lack of integrity permeates their business at all levels.
Sure I could tell you about their desire to sell facial recognition technology to ICE or about their employees listening to private conversations in homes via Alexa or about CEO Jeff Bezos' refusal to join the giving pledge. (Among the five richest people in America, Bezos is the only one who hasn't signed on to the philanthropic commitment.)
I could give you so many reasons as to why and how Amazon is awful and Jeff Bezos is awful, but in the interest of providing easy-to-process bullet points, I'm going to focus on three things I really despise about Amazon.
1. Amazon Sells Counterfeit Goods, With No Concern for Public Safety
Selling dangerous counterfeit goods has been a longstanding practice with Amazon. When Daily Dot covered some examples of dangerous counterfeit goods on Amazon they wrote about fake phone chargers that "hiss, overheat, stink of burning plastic, or even explode." They also wrote about pharmaceutical giant Johnson & Johnson doing battle with Amazon over their refusal to pull expired and damaged versions of their products. (The practice of selling expired food alone is a major public safety concern.)
This isn't new. Back in 2012 a California court ordered Amazon to send a notice to 20,000 consumers duped into buying a counterfeit hair styling iron from their site. The legitimate manufacturer of the styling product sued to try to prevent Amazon from selling counterfeits of their products — at least one of which exploded in a customer's hand — but Amazon won the day, claiming they are not responsible for the counterfeit goods on their site. There was also the case in 2018 of Amazon selling counterfeit hair dryers that would shoot flames out when used.
The dangerous goods have been covered by many outlets over the years, including CNN and The Atlantic. During the eclipse craze of 2017 consumers had their vision damaged by counterfeit eclipse glasses sold by Amazon. Consumers have also had to beware of dangerous counterfeit sex toys sold by Amazon, which can result in serious health consequences. One woman was partially blinded by a defective dog leash she bought from Amazon.
Last year CNN covered the counterfeit infant car seats and swaddles Amazon sells that could potentially hurt or kill infants. Inc Magazine covered the hazards posed to babies and children when Amazon sells counterfeit pacifiers and toys. Counterfeit products for infants and children are especially dangerous and can have serious consequences. In one sad case a 4-year-old boy had to have parts of his colon and intestines removed after he'd swallowed 13 tiny magnets from a counterfeit toy that broke open.
Amazon cares about profit over people, so as long as they can get away with selling counterfeit goods that could hurt or kill you, they're going to do it. While their official stance might be that counterfeits are prohibited and that they have robust systems in place to stop them, the reality is that counterfeit goods have been on Amazon for years and continue to be present in their supply chain. Keeping them is more profitable than totally wiping them out. If your house burns down or your baby chokes, Amazon's position is that it's not their fault.
2. Amazon Ruins the Lives of Artists, Small Business Owners, and Entrepreneurs
The American dream is the self-made citizen who starts a small business and creates something of value in the world, but that's not the world Amazon wants us to live in. We find counterfeit Boredwalk merchandise on Amazon all the time, and as fast as we get one counterfeit removed a new one takes its place. We have a full time copyright enforcement agent on staff, and even she cannot keep up with the flood of fake Boredwalk on Amazon and around the web.
Counterfeit goods create a multi-tiered issue for entrepreneurs and artists. Not only do we lose income from the sale of fake versions of our products, we suffer reputation damage when customers falsely believe the inferior fake versions of our products are the same as the real thing, and thus consumers begin to associate the brand with the low-quality fakes.
This happens to thousands of American entrepreneurs and creators every day, and Amazon is the mother lode of counterfeit goods. The press has covered brands experiencing this problem, and it impacts more than just apparel brands. Companies selling a variety of products from pool floats to textile design and housewares have suffered blows to their livelihoods thanks to fakes of their products sold on Amazon. One company in the Los Angeles area faced total ruin thanks to counterfeits of their products showing up on Amazon. Footwear maker Birkenstock famously pulled their products from Amazon when they couldn't get the flood of fakes under control. Oftentimes, Amazon itself is the one knocking off the companies that sell on their platform, using sales data to decide which products to knock off.
It's become more than just David vs Goliath at this point. Amazon is allowed to skirt product liability law, accountability for what they sell, and gets to advertise artificially lower prices to tamp down competition from other retailers. If a brand sets their product price at one rate and counterfeiters sell a fake version on Amazon at a drastically lower rate, less savvy consumers will think they are getting a deal and choose Amazon, thus shutting out legitimate retailers that play by the rules and source authentic products from brands.
This doesn't just hurt legitimate retailers and entrepreneurs; it hurts American jobs, too. When counterfeit goods on Amazon eat into the profits of US-based businesses it forces those US-based companies to lay off workers. So not only does Amazon profit by helping overseas counterfeiters siphon profits away from US-based companies, they also profit from the US job loss that accompanies it. What's scary is they are only becoming more dominant in the marketplace, and the only people with the power to really stop them right now are consumers.
Source: Statista
3. Amazon's Labor Practices Are Deplorable
Amazon has worked hard with its PR machine to seem like a great place to work, but the press has told us a much more distressing story. Their company has treated workers so poorly, it even prompted one senior engineer to quit after Amazon refused to offer workers protections from Coronavirus exposure.
Long before Amazon warehouses became a hotbed of pandemic exposure resulting in the death of several low wage workers, Amazon was notorious for its poor treatment of workers, particularly their low wage hourly warehouse staff. One Amazon worker who died of heart attack at work was reportedly left on the floor for 20 minutes before receiving treatment. Other Amazon workers have been hospitalized due to risk of heat stroke. Last year OSHA classified Amazon as one of the most dangerous places to work. Workers have described brutal accounts of their experiences working at Amazon, some even unable to take bathroom breaks. Amazon has also been caught stealing gig workers' tips and not allowing workers to take lunch breaks.
Amazon works hard at keeping workers from organizing. They not only work vigorously to prevent workers from organizing, they also spy on social and environmental movements as well. White collar workers may fare marginally better, but I sure wouldn't want a verbally abusive boss who says things like "Are you lazy or just incompetent?"
So where should I shop instead?
While there are plenty of Amazon alternatives, the best option is to support small and local businesses. When that's not an option, buy directly from brands that make the products you love, or buy from reputable retailers that don't allow counterfeiters to access their customers. If you'd like to know how to shop online without being ripped off, check out our tips on how to do that.
If you cannot find what you need from a local or small business, at least shop with big box stores that operate more responsibly and source authentic goods from brands. Companies like Costco and Patagonia are known for being good employers, but other big box retailers like Target and Bed Bath & Beyond can at least be trusted to sell authentic merchandise, as they have rigorous quality control protocols in place to make sure they are compliant with US consumer protection laws.
For books, supporting indie book sellers is the best option. Check out Indie Bound for suggestions. You can also find an awesome selection of used books at Thrift Books. Also, Barnes & Noble still exists!
Want more suggestions for how to shop online without Amazon?
Several other outlets have put together guides for avoiding Amazon. Here are a few I recommend:
- For the ethically-minded, The Good Trade has a list of 15 sustainable marketplaces to try and blogger Polly Barks also suggests 25+ ethical alternatives to Amazon
- For the budget-minded, here are 13 sites with better deals and free shipping
- The Verge and New York Times have guides broken out by shopping categories
A lot of people might make the point that Amazon helps some small businesses by giving them a platform to sell their products. Most of those small businesses have their own websites, though, and orders they receive directly through their websites are a better deal for those sellers. So if you want to support them, search for the seller's name and buy items directly from their website. That way the small seller keeps 100% of the sale and Amazon doesn't get a cut. If anything, Amazon is set up to enable the sabotage of those small sellers, so supporting them isn't really doing small businesses all that much of a favor.
I know the siren song of convenient one-stop shopping is strong, but Amazon continues to get away with its horrible practices because consumers continue to support them. I personally quit shopping on Amazon 4 years ago and it's incredibly easy to do. I never think about shopping there and don't miss it. I'm happier knowing I'm not lining the pockets of a toxic corporate behemoth, and if savings is your worry, they're often not the cheapest place to buy stuff anyway. Even if you can't cut them out 100%, start by finding ways to reduce spending with them. You might surprise yourself and realize you don't need them as much as you think you do.
Boredwalk Community: Box Cake Is Perfectly Acceptable
1. What's your actual day job and what's your dream day job?
I’m a staff accountant at a law firm. My dream job is to have my own late night talk show. Or to write jokes with a bunch of other comics for a TV show.
2. What’s your biggest pet peeve?
Dallas drivers. Pass on the right? Check. Tailgate? Double-check. Cross solid white lines? On the reg. Drive slow in the left lane? So much. Missed their exit? IT’S NEVER TOO LATE *crosses 8 lanes of traffic and then wrecks.* (Ed. note: I'm fairly certain all of us have complaints about our fellow motorists, regardless of metro area.)
3. What’s a life pro tip that the Boredwalk community needs to know?
Be honest even if you’re afraid of how it will be received. (Sound advice!)
4. What experience do you most want to cross off your bucket list?
I want to successfully ride a wave on a surfboard. So far I’ve just exhausted myself by repeatedly trying to haul my body out of the ocean and onto a surfboard, only to immediately fall off.
5. You can curse your nemesis with a minor annoyance for eternity; what do you choose?
Low tire pressure when they get ready to leave for work in the morning. (I sure hope my nemesis is as easy on me as you are on yours!)
6. If you drink: what's your go-to drink? If you don't drink: what's your go-to dessert or snack?
Go-to dessert = refined sugar in all forms. Fave cake = yellow sheet cake with chocolate icing. Box cake is perfectly acceptable and is, in fact, preferable.
7. Where can the rest of the Boredwalk community find you?
On Facebook.
FIND FIVE FUN LINKS FROM THE LAST WEEK THAT DON'T MENTION THE ELECTION OR COVID
Happy Veterans Day! I mean, as "happy" as it can be to honor the brave men & women that serve in the armed forces. Wouldn't it be nice if we could resolve all disputes — regardless of scale — with reasonable, measured conversations and a friendly round of rochambeau? Then those wonderful people could spend their time farming, art-ing, building, gardening, and whatever-else-ing it is that, uh, sparks joy for them? I think so. Be sure to thank the veteran(s) in your life for their service! That includes you, Uncle Al!
For those of you who skew a bit more loud, happy Metal Day! This day, month, and amp all go to 11.
Per the subject line and headline up top, completing this week's link roundup was a challenge...but not an impossible one. If you're cutting your cyber-calories and want to skip right down to those, feel free! But if you're like me and trying to revel in one last hurrah this morning before a root canal procedure...let's have some cake!
• First up, с Днем рожденья to novelist, essayist, philosopher, journalist, and all-around curmudgeon Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky, born this day in 1821! Mr. Dostoevsky's works were known for their exploration of the bleaker side of human psychology as filtered through the lens of 19th century Russia. Key works: Crime And Punishment, The Brothers Karamazov, The Idiot (not to be confused with the excellent Iggy Pop album of same name) and Notes From Underground, which is widely considered one of the first examples of existentialist literature.
• Next cut a piece for legendary (and at times controversial) General George S. Patton, born this day in 1885! General Patton commanded the U.S. Seventh Army in the Mediterranean theater of WWII and the U.S. Third Army in France and Germany following the Allied invasion of Normandy in 1944. He was immortalized in actor George C. Scott's portrayal in the 1970 film Patton, which won seven Academy Awards.
• Moving back to the literary side of the spectrum, sling a slice across the table to postmodernist writer and satirist Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., born this day in 1922! Mr. Vonnegut struggled to followup his 1952 debut novel Player Piano, but once Cat's Cradle came out in 1963 his career really took off. Other notable works: Slaughterhouse-Five, Breakfast of Champions, and Bluebeard.
• Today is also the birthday of actor/comedian Jonathan Winters (1925), and actors Stanley Tucci (1959), Demi Moore (1962), and Leonardo DiCaprio (1974).
OK, link time!
Did you know that British hedgehogs are now endangered and could be extinct within the next two years? True —and terrible — story! This fall, Parkdean Resorts unveiled a holiday hibernation resort next to each of their glamping locations and have been working on ways to educate the public on things they can do to protect the remaining British hedgehogs...like not setting them on fire. (Apparently hedgehogs like to hang out near the center of bonfire pits this time of year because they're dry and protected from cold and wind. The more you know!)
They're being painted using a photocatalytic paint that contains titanium dioxide, which attracts airborne pollutants that get converted into those nitrates when the paint comes in contact with sunlight. Kinda makes you wonder why we're not making this a requirement for all paints globally. Is there a titanium dioxide shortage? Is an adverse side effect of titanium dioxide that it turns people into werewolves? Or are the Benjamin Moores and Sherwin Williams of the world just being jerks? C'mon, Big Paint! What's the holdup?
3. Ever wanted to smell like an old used book? Of course you do, and now you can!
The erudite geniuses at Powell's Book — that bastion of analog edification in Portland, Oregon — is now selling book-scented unisex fragrance with notes of violet, wood, and biblichor, because of course it is.
If response is anything like it was for the McVegan that they introduced in Sweden in 2017, it'll be a hot seller, but the marketer in me feels like, as with most things McDonald's does, they really phoned it in with the name. The McPlant? Really, McDonald's? You're not even trying.
And for those of you who still have a McRib-shaped hole in your stomach, don't worry — they're bringing it back nationwide for the first time since 2012! You can't keep a rib-shaped composite of meat product down, I guess. (McRib lovers, please don't reply to this trying to convince me I'm wrong about that sorry excuse for a sandwich. Your protestations will fall upon deaf ears! Mostly because I will have plugged them up with filet o' fish patties.)
You'll want to strap in for this one, my friend. Why? Because making said "paper" airplane requires multiple tools and/or components (including something MADE OUT OF BONE) and THIRTY-SEVEN MINUTES OF YOUR LIFE. Sure, John Collins may have slowed it down a bit to explain what he was doing each step along the way, but OMFG, why is this video 37 minutes long? I burst out laughing at the 3:10 mark when he offhandedly remarks "you can use the ruler to double-check the measurements on your tape gauge (WTF is a tape gauge?!), but that's really overkill, you don't NEED to do that." Oh, THAT'S overkill? That's the one laughably superfluous task involved in your THIRTY-SEVEN MINUTE-LONG VIDEO ON HOW TO MAKE A PAPER AIRPLANE? Got it, cool. On with the show!
CLICK-CLACK PADDYWACK, GIVE A 'HOG A ROAD!
Happy National Candy Day! Shoutout to our Customer Service & Shipping Supervisor Marlene for going above & beyond last Friday in decorating Boredwalk HQ for Halloween, and even setting up fun activities and doling out sweet treats to the whole team! Meredith and I are STILL working our way through the mountain of Twizzlers and Skittles.
I'm writing this on Tuesday evening about 30 minutes before polls close on the east coast. Regardless of the outcome, I expect we will be dealing with a wine & chocolate cake hangover tomorrow (i.e., this) morning, so plenty of water and candy seems about right for today's recovery menu.
Speaking of cake, though...let's honor some birthday persons!
• First up, happy birthday to "Oklahoma's Favorite Son", humorist/actor/cowboy/newspaper columnist/social commentator William Penn Adair Rogers, born this day in 1879! Mr. Rogers was born and raised in Cherokee Nation, Indian Territory (now part of Oklahoma) and got his start doing rope tricks in vaudeville performances. He famously imbued humor in all facets of his professional life, and was widely quoted as saying "I am not a member of an organized political party. I am a Democrat." In 1928 he jokingly ran as the presidential candidate of the Anti-Bunk Party, which primarily involved him poking fun at other "serious" candidates in his weekly column in Life magazine.
• Next up, cut a piece for "the most trusted man in America", Walter Leland Cronkite, Jr., born this day in 1916! Mr. Cronkite was a broadcast journalist who anchored the CBS Evening News from 1962 - 1981, and was known for signing off his broadcasts with the catchphrase "and that's the way it is."
• Moving on, crane kick a slice for the karate kid himself, Ralph George Macchio, Jr., born this day in 1961! Mr. Macchio is best known for his portrayal of Daniel LaRusso in three Karate Kid films and the sequel streaming series Cobra Kai, but he's been acting since 1980 when he was cast as Jeremy Andretti in the sitcom Eight Is Enough.
• Alright, alright, alright! You know who won't be missing cake today? Twin birthday boys Sean John "Puff Daddy/Puffy/P. Diddy/Diddy" Combs and Matthew David McConaughey, both born this day in 1969! Mr. Combs is of course known as a producer, songwriter, rapper/singer, fashion mogul, and actor who also played a major role in exposing the world to Meredith and my favorite MC, Christopher "Notorious B.I.G." Wallace and arguably the greatest hip-hop album ever, Biggie's Ready To Die.
McConaughey is handsome, talented, weird, and a big fan of cannabis and nude bongos.
OK, link time!
I learned a lot about hedgehog infrastructure, about how much locals love the hedgehogs, and got further confirmation that hedgehogs are adorable.
2. This Twitter account captions photos of badass cats with black metal song lyrics, and it's AMAZING.
They are open to photo submissions, but please be prepared for your beloved Fluffy to get paired with sentiments like "We are gathered as many, but we shall ride as one. Go, and unleash hell." This is honestly the greatest thing I've seen in weeks.
Think the Grand Canyon is just "a very, very large hole" or that Olympic National Park "has no wow factor"? Then this link is for you.
4. Makeup artist Yuyumika does amazing work transforming herself into completely different people.
Don't believe me? Check her out at Johnny Depp.
Pairi Daiza is a zoological, botanical, and architectural garden that has been voted "best zoo in Europe" three years running, and with the creative ways in which the keepers keep the animals occupied, it's easy to see why!
In 1917 the National Woman Suffrage Publishing Co. put out a hilarious booklet titled This Little Book Contains Every Reason Why Women Should Not Vote. Curious as to the contents? Click the link to see!
Boredwalk Community: I'm a Faulknarian
1. What's your actual day job and what's your dream day job?
My actual job is in shipping and customer service.* My dream job would be to host my own TV show, though it would likely turn out like the movie Welcome to Me. I'd also like to be a writer for TV or even a director. (Ed. note: Marlene is being modest — she's the Customer Service & Shipping Supervisor here at Boredwalk, and chances are you may have exchanged emails with her over the last 14 months!)
2. What’s your biggest pet peeve?
I hate when people cut me off and then drive really slowly.
3. What’s the most useful piece of advice you’ve ever received?
I think my Dad's advice for work has served me well: "Show up on time every day and do the best you can."
4. If you could have any super power what would it be and why?
I think teleportation would be my top pick, but only if I could teleport people and objects with me.
5. You can curse your nemesis with a minor annoyance for eternity; what do you choose?
A vague but palpable feeling of unease that lingers forever. (So MY existence, then.)
6. What experience do you most want to cross off your bucket list?
Getting married and honeymooning! One is closer than the other...
7. If you drink: what’s your go-to drink?
I like a classic negroni (alcoholic) or a Monster energy drink (non-alcoholic).
8. What's a surprising fact about you?
I'm a Faulknarian (fan and scholar of William Faulkner's writing).
9. Where can the rest of the Boredwalk community find you?
You can find me at my lightly-used Instagram: @justmarmar.
THESE LINKS AREN'T GONNA CLICK THEMSELVES.
Happy National Chocolate Day! As if guided by a premonition that this day was almost upon us, Meredith ordered a bunch of sweet treats from our favorite purveyor of dairy-free chocolate confections that arrived at the office yesterday, and working our way through these delectable delights is one of the few sources of joy to be found around here as we plod inexorably on toward Election Day this coming Tuesday.
Election Day is a paid holiday here at Boredwalk, but we know that isn't the case everywhere — even though it should be — so if you haven't done so yet be sure to make a plan for how you'll let your voice be heard!
Today is ALSO National First Responders Day! If you are a first responder yourself, please pat yourself on the back for keeping the rest of us safe! If you know someone who is a first responder, be sure to let them know how much you appreciate their hard, stressful work.
Finally, today is also National Immigrants Day! If you or someone you know are immigrants, thanks for your courage in uprooting your life in pursuit of the American Dream...and for bringing snacks that make everyone's existence here in the US a bit more delicious!
Alright, cake time!
• First up, happy birthday to acclaimed virologist Jonas Edward Salk, born this day in 1914! Dr. Salk was the big brain behind one of the first successful vaccines against the scourge of polio, first announced in 1955. He was such a firm proponent of using science for the betterment of humankind that he declined to patent his discovery or derive any profit from it in order to maximize its global distribution. Less than 25 years later domestic transmission of the illness within the US had been completely eradicated. He spent his later years working on a vaccine for HIV. Thanks, doc!
• Next up, 01101000 01100001 01110000 01110000 01111001 00100000 01100010 01101001 01110010 01110100 01101000 01100100 01100001 01111001 to software developer, tech magnate, and philanthropist William Henry "Bill" Gates III, born this day in 1955! I'm a Mac person myself, but I fully concede that home computing would not be what it is today without the trail that Microsoft helped blaze. Plus he and his wife Melinda are giving away over 95% of their wealth upon their eventual deaths, which is pretty cool.
• Moving on, sling a slice over to Joaquin Rafael Phoenix, born this day in 1974! In addition to being an Oscar, Grammy, and Golden Globe-winning actor, Mr. Phoenix is also a long-time vegan and noted environmentalist and animal rights activist. Way to walk the line for the critters, Joaquin!
• Finally, cut a big piece for songwriter, performer, producer, and visual artist Frank Ocean, born this day in 1987! From his debut mixtape Nostalgia, Ultra to 2016's critically acclaimed Blond, Ocean has carved out an impressive musical career that defies easy categorization. I can't wait to see what he comes out with next!
OK, link time!
Bonus points to the YouTube commenter who posted "this is what happens when you cross the streams."
She's also a very entertaining cartoonist on Instagram!
3. Do you ever get tired of watching baby bats eat fruit?
I sure as heck don't!
These are all worthy masterpieces, but I will always have a soft spot for Statler & Waldorf...even if they are dressed up as the creepy AF Grady twins from The Shining.
Remember last month when I linked to the finalists for this year's Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards? Well, they've announced the winners, and Terry the bird-flipping turtle is the overall champ. Hopefully this improves his mood. Click the link to see him and all the other winners!
1.21 SNAKE-A-WATTS!
Happy National: Back to the Future, Reptile Awareness, Reptile, and Apple Day! And also National Day of the Nacho (I wanted to be faithful to the correct syntax with that one). I don't know how you specifically plan to celebrate all of these wondrous holidays simultaneously, but if it involves a full back-to-back-to-Back to the Future trilogy screening while eating nachos garnished with apple salsa in the company of your favorite reptilian friend...PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!
Alright, cake time!
• First up, happy birthday to acclaimed English poet, literary critic, and philosopher Samuel Taylor Coleridge, born this day in 1772! Mr. Coleridge, along with his buddy William Wordsworth, was a founder of the Romantic Movement that was popular in the first half of the 19th century. He was a major influence on Ralph Waldo Emerson and American transcendentalism, but is perhaps best known for his poems The Rime of the Ancient Mariner — which inspired the amazing Iron Maiden song of same name — and Kubla Khan. He also suffered mightily from anxiety and depression, and a life-long opium addiction.
• Next, grattis på födelsedagen to Swedish chemist, engineer, inventor, and philanthropist Alfred Bernhard Nobel, born this day in 1833! A controversial figure during his lifetime, Mr. Nobel held over 355 patents, the most famous of which was dynamite. It was a premature French obituary accusing him of profiting from arms sales ("the merchant of death is dead") that prompted Nobel to donate his fortune by creating the Nobel Prize in an effort to rehabilitate his legacy ahead of his demise. When you're that wealthy, you can control the story, I guess...
• Sling a jazzy slice across the table to famed trumpeter John Birks "Dizzy" Gillespie, born this day in 1917! Mr. Gillespie first came up as a luminary of the Swing movement before striking off with his contemporary Charlie Parker and becoming leading figures in the development of bebop and other modern jazz idioms. Key tracks: 'Manteca', 'A Night In Tunisia', 'Groovin' High', and 'Con Alma'.
• Cut a piece for sci fi & fantasy legend Ursula Kroeber Le Guin, born this day in 1929! Ms. Le Guin's most known works are probably found in her Earthsea series, as well as those set in her science fiction Hainish Cycle, and frequently featured elements of cultural anthropology, Taoism, and feminism.
• Finally, a very happy birthday to Princess Leia herself, Carrie Frances Fisher, born this day in 1956! When we think of living a public life, they don't get much more public than the child star daughter of a famous actor and singer who became an iconic star at the age of 21 with the release of the first Star Wars film. Don't sleep on her roles in When Harry Met Sally..., The 'Burbs, and The Man With One Red Shoe, though!
OK, link time!
1. Still not sure if you should wear a mask? Maybe Lumiere and Mrs. Potts can convince you.
As Disney parodies go, this one is pretty great.
2. Still not sure if you should bother voting? Maybe this amazing woman can convince you.
Bring your chair, bring your snacks, and get your jush on!
3. Twitter user Decadent_Dayne like to narrate cooking videos on Tik Tok, and they are amazing!
Broccolini never looked so sexy.
4. Miss Mexico contestants are competing in traditional costumes, and they are stunning!
Cool thing about this listicle: it also acts as a travelogue of Mexican states, their geography, and their cultural history!
Seriously — some of these poignant exchanges could be ripped right out of conversations Meredith and I have with each other.
I'm partial to big (and small) cats, but ALL of these are very deserving winners. A feast for the eyes! Just don't lose sight of your nachos...
BURSTING AT THE SEAMS WITH CAKE!
Happy National Dessert Day! Fittingly, we will be feasting on a LOT of cyber-cake today. However, today is also National Fossil Day, so don't forget to give a socially-distanced air-hug to your friendly neighborhood paleontologist for bringing us cool stuff like dinosaur skeletons and a keener understanding of our own place in Earth's history.
Alright, cake time!
• First up, alles gute zum geburtstag to political philosopher Johanna "Hannah" Arendt, born this day in 1906! Ms. Arendt's writings delved into a broad range of topics, but her most notable works dealt with the nature of power & evil, politics, direct democracy, authority, and totalitarianism.
• Next, happy birthday to 34th President of the United States Dwight D. "Ike" Eisenhower, born this day in 1890! While his post-WWII foreign policy outside of the creation of NATO was at times "problematic" (Korean War, Bay of Pigs, various other proxy entanglements, etc.), domestically he was a more moderate conservative, continuing and expanding upon New Deal agencies, expanding Social Security, and covertly opposing McCarthyism during the "Red Scare" via use of executive privilege. He signed the Civil Rights Act of 1957 and authorized the use of federal troops to enforce the integration of public schools in Little Rock, Arkansas. He also promoted strong science education via the National Defense Education Act, authorized the creation of NASA following the USSR's successful launching of the Sputnik satellite, and created the Interstate Highway System. Despite his rep as a former general and commander of Allied forces, one of his parting addresses to the country before he left office was to warn against the proliferation of excessive military spending and the nascent "military-industrial complex", a term he coined.
• Finally, happy birthday to eternally baby-faced R&B icon Usher Raymond, born this day in 1978! Besides selling over 80 million copies of his albums worldwide, he's also very active with humanitarian causes and started his own nonprofit foundation, Usher's New Look, which works to improve the lives of disadvantaged kids & adolescents.
OK, link time!
They're pun-tastic!
I will never look at Candyland the same way again.
The most wholesome of which is probably the one regarding some 'athletic sandals': "John, 58. Likes fishing and treasures his wife. Tells "pull my finger" jokes and lets the grandkids have ice cream when grandma goes to bed."
Between Vanessa and the people acting as her "canvas", there is a LOT of patience on display in this feed.
Mmm...beefcake...
Boredwalk Community: Some Of Us Have Places To Be
Welcome to our weekly Boredwalk Community series, where we ask Boredwalk fans fun questions! This week we're talking to Jennie Z., showing off a What a Time to be Alive and Anxious shirt.
1. What's your actual day job and what's your dream day job?
Graphic designer (t-shirts are my specialty!), but I still want to be a music video director when I grow up. I'm over 40. I should probably get my life together.
2. What's your biggest pet peeve?
People who drive the speed limit in the passing lane. Some of us have places to be, Sharon.
3. If you could have any super power what would it be and why?
I wish I could say flying, but I'm scared of heights and I don't think the fact that I can't fall would fix that.
4. You can curse your nemesis with a minor annoyance for eternity; what do you choose?
Popcorn stuck in the back teeth.
5. What experience do you most want to cross off your bucket list?
Torn between volcanoes erupting and glaciers so I guess I'm going to Iceland.
6. If you drink: what's your go-to drink? If you don't drink: what's your go-to dessert or snack?
Gin & Tonic 4 lyf.
7. What's a book you think the Boredwalk community should read?
Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, if you've somehow missed it.
8. What is a surprising fact about you?
I'm not actually a hobbit. (Ed. note: Is this a frequent misconception people have about you?!)
9. Clear up a misconception (about your job, where you are from, some other topic you know a lot about).
People don't think podcasting be like it is, but it do. (So you're a graphic designer with a concentration in t-shirts who JUST HAPPENS to also have a podcast. Hmmm...)
10. Where can the rest of the Boredwalk community find you?
@jennie_z on Twitter should get you wherever you wanna go. Also zellsbells.com and BelleAndDubs.com
WE'RE ALL ABOUT THAT SPITE!
Here's a conversation Meredith and I just had while I was researching items for this email:
Me: "October 7th is National Kale Day. Does that please you?"
Meredith: "Well, you know how I feel about kale. I think every day should be National Kale Day."
Me: "It's also National Forgiveness & Love Day, to celebrate uncondi—"
Meredith: *wrinkles nose* "[expletive deleted] that! Let me know when it's National Spite Day; then we'll talk."
And there you have it: unvarnished insight into the Boredwalk email writing process!
Hungry for some links? Too bad! You can't get your links until you've eaten your birthday cake!
• First up, tillykke med fødselsdagen to Nobel Prize-winning physicist Niels Henrik David Bohr, born this day in 1885! Dr. Bohr's foundational contributions to our understanding of atomic structure led to his winning of the prize, but he was also a philosopher and, during the 1930s, helped save refugees from Nazism before fleeing Denmark himself to help the Allied war effort in the development of atomic energy. Wild!
• Next, usuku lokuzalwa olumnandi to Nobel Peace Prize laureate Archbishop Desmond Mpilo Tutu, born this day in 1931! Mr. Tutu was an instrumental figure in South Africa's anti-apartheid movement in the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s, and was the first black African person to hold the position of Bishop of Johannesburg (1985-1986) and Archbishop of Cape Town (1986-1996).
• Happy birthday to Daniel Keenan Savage, born this day in 1964! Dan has been writing the internationally syndicated sex & relationship advice column Savage Love for what feels like forever, but it's actually only been 29 years. His weekly podcast, the Savage Lovecast, is a still-spritely 14 years old.
• Finally, we have a quadfecta of musical birthdays today! Thomas Edward Yorke of the band Radiohead (1968), R&B icon Toni Michele Braxton (1967), and roots rock legend John J. Mellencamp (1951) are all experiencing a frosting-induced sugar coma today.
OK, link time!
Almost.
(Hint: it involves showing a lot of butthole.)
Plus there's some pretty sweet Cyrillic typography in there, too!
Which is accurate, and the strip is hilarious. Enjoy!
Well, wonder no more! Prizing includes gift cards, free access to future events, and other treats! See you at The Bronze!
Boredwalk Community: Don't Let the "Y'all" Fool You
1. What's your actual day job and what's your dream day job?
Before quarantine, I'd have said my dream job would be to write on a beach somewhere, undisturbed, and to actually make money on my novels. After quarantine, I have discovered that I need a real 9-to-5 to actually force me out of bed in the mornings, to give me a sense of purpose and deadline, and to provide the stress, frustration, and angst necessary to be inspired in the first place. So I'll continue with my actual day job quite happily: public librarian. (Ed. note: Seagulls have indiscriminate bladder control when in flight, so you're probably safer indoors, anyway.)
2. What's a book you think the Boredwalk community should read?
This is such an unfair question because there are so many life-changing books, and because normally I'd ask you all questions first, about what you like best in a book, what you last read, what motivates you to keep reading... but if you want a handful of "try this out and see" (I can't pick just one): Luster by Revan Leilani, Lila by Marilynne Robinson, Lock In by John Scalzi, or The "More or Less" Definitive Guide to Self-Care by Anna Borges. That last is nonfiction, and sleek, and wow, helpful right now. The others are nicely alliterated and have their own points of entry: black girl magic, Depression-era despair, future world effects of a pandemic! Cheers.
3. Clear up a misconception (about your job, where you are from, some other topic you know a lot about).
Don't let the "y'all" fool you: people in the South are not idiots. We are not all (TW) Confederate-flag-waving assholes. People in the South are nuanced just as you are nuanced. The sins of our soil are on the surface, for the most part, and culturally we are required to pay lip service to politeness; therefore, there is a thin veneer of dust caked in our smiles, but some of us are very aware, and working for change-still with a smile.
4. Where can the rest of the Boredwalk community find you?
Twitter: @lily_bart
My author page.
There's also tumblr, but let's not be too revealing.