March 03, 2021


Happy National I Want You To Be Happy Day! (Jeez, what a mouthful!) Seriously, though — it's true. That's why I scour the internet for fun links to share with you on Wednesdays! Fleeting though it may be, here's hoping this email can be a (small) oasis to distract you from the aggravations of life.

Sure, the more cynical reader might say "if you really wanted me to be happy there'd be a 90% discount code in this email," but the Wednesday Boredwalk email isn't that kind of email.

To which the cynic might reply "if your logo is at the top of it, it's that kind of email."

To which I would say "that's a great point! What a missed opportunity this was! I'm a pretty disappointing marketer, hehehe! *sheepish self-effacing shrug* Let's move on from this embarrassing foible and eat some nonexistent birthday cake!"


Today's famous birthday boys/girls/persons/geo-political areas are as follows:

• The great state of Florida, admitted as the 27th in the Union on this day in 1845! This is the first time I've ever really looked at it, but Florida has a pretty nice state flag. Not as cool as California's, of course, but that's because we have that sweet bear on ours. Put a manatee, gator, or panther on there and we'll talk, Florida! I'm sure the Seminole woman on the current Seal of Florida would much rather commune with the local fauna than watch the USS Oppression cruise into port.

• Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce, born this day in 1840! Chief Joseph led his tribe on a 1,170-mile "fighting retreat" against the U.S. Army in 1877 as they tried to seek political asylum in Canada following clashes with white settlers in Idaho resulting from the Nez Perce's forced relocation there. His principled leadership and the tribe's conduct during the ordeal earned them admiration from all corners, including those pursuing them, and led to Chief Joseph becoming renowned as a humanitarian and peacemaker until his passing in 1904. 

• Scientist, inventor, and engineer Alexander Graham Bell, born this day in 1847! Mr. Bell is credited with inventing and patenting the first practical telephone. Yay! He is also the co-founder of the American Telephone & Telegraph Company (AT&T). Boo!

• Public radio personality Ira Jeffrey Glass, born this day in 1959! Vogue magazine once described Mr. Glass as "the aural embodiment of Sensitive Guy Who Is Friends with All the Girls™." Sounds unthreateningly dreamy!

OK,'ve waited long enough. It's link time!

1. Want to eat like an orc and drink like a high elf dandy? I do!

Heroes' Feast is a new Dungeons & Dragons-themed cookbook, full of recipes for things like Elven Bread, Drow Mushroom Steaks,  and Trolltide Candied Apples, but I'll be honest — they had me at the gin-based Potion of Restoration.

2. LEGO is getting all grown up with these new sets!

LEGO's new Botanical Collection is designed with adults in mind, with both a floral arrangement set and a bonsai set containing pieces formed entirely of plant-based bioplastics. Seems like the ideal sort of thing for brown thumbs who still want to calm down and indulge in some plant care!

3. Cartoonist Joseph Nowak draws funny and bizarre single-panel comics!

From puns about rooster foodie slang to jokes about Helen of Troy's pet preferences, this is a treasure trove of visual humor. 

4. For a brief six-episode run, Satan was a star.

Apparently in 1978 RIA — Italy's national television network — produced and aired six episodes of a variety program centered on the Dark Lord himself, Lucifer-f**king-Morningstar. Called Stryx, the show featured musical performances by disco and avant-pop star Grace Jones, Italian David Bowie analog Patty Pravo, and others, usually being carried around on plush lounges by people dressed as goblins. Netflix could be giving the people what they want — a decadent, sexually ambiguous, and Satanic version of Soul Train — yet here we are with another tranche of dowdy British period dramas. Terrible!

5. Agatz is an artist who also happens to have a master's in biotech and draws illustrations to help simplify complex concepts.

From the basics of photosynthesis to the explanation of geological time scales using funny dinosaur doodles, this is a great way to get kids (and cooler adults) excited about science AND art.