April 14, 2021

...IT'S USUALLY BECAUSE THEY'VE GOT THEIR HEAD IN THE CLOUDS.

Happy National Reach as High as You Can Day! If you're pint sized like me you may assume this day is about mocking those of us at lower elevations, but apparently it's meant to reference the metaphorical reaching for things like hopes and dreams. That kind of reach is accessible to us all in theory, unlike the items in my kitchen cabinets, which I am forced to bat down with barbecue tongs and spatulas and the like.

A reenactment of me trying to get anything down from a high shelf in my house.

Today is also National Dolphin Day, National Ex-Spouse Day, and Look Up at the Sky Day. Do with that information what you will.

I will do nothing with that information and continue to be bitter that the height gods never smiled upon me, although Matt will be quick to point out that neither did the concussion gods, since hitting my head on things is a near non-existent problem down here.

What else happened today in history?

 The first edition of Noah Webster's dictionary was published on this day in 1828. Helping us all reach new heights in terms of our vernacular!

• On this day in 2003 The Human Genome Project completed a mapping the genes of the human genome, a project which started in 1990. Scientific heights, y'all!

• Several birthdays also happened today, including Sarah Michelle Gellar (famous for her role as Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Anthony Michael Hall (famous for a long acting career including iconic geek roles in films like Sixteen Candles and iconic jerk roles in Edward Scissorhands. Good on him for not being typecast). Today is also the birthday of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia co-creator/star Rob McElhenney and Helen Keller's lifelong companion/teacher/Miracle Worker Anne Sullivan.

Alright, since it's Wednesday, I suppose it's time to entertain you with some finds from around the web...

1. Women posting wins of all shapes and sizes.

This Instagram account is dedicated to sharing wins for women, both modern and historical. Whether it's rocking femmes showing up haters who doubt their heavy metal fandom, or heroines of the past helping enterprising women dispatch abusive husbands, this account is full of interesting history and modern victories.

2. Ursine intruder immediately regrets his transgression, thanks to some plucky pups.

This episode took place in Pasadena, CA, the town where Matt and I reside with our ancient feline familiar. I doubt Oliver the cat would have mustered the chutzpah on display with these two tiny dogs chasing a wayward bear from their home; he's really only good for making sure rodents rue the day they breach our abode.

3. Japan wants you to ski their slopes with some feathery friends.

Sure it's trick photography and not well-trained ostrich Olympians, but this little video of ostriches soaking up a snow day is still a fun watch.

4. Prolific Pen Comics are the perfect amusing distractions.

If funny comic strips sound like a delightful diversion between Zoom calls today, check out Yanni Davros' Insta account, fully of quick LOLs to brighten your day.

5. This theater in Portland never stopped doing the Time Warp.

This truly dedicated projectionist has been playing Rocky Horror Picture Show in an empty theater for 54 weeks! I guess he didn't want to break the streak for Portland's longest-running movie.

I still remember RHPS being the only semblance of something remotely alternative in the endless landscape of strip malls and gated communities where I spent my high school years. Thanks for the little slice of nostalgia, Oregonian, and thanks to the universe's reach-as-high-as-you-can powers that be for helping me escape that bland little corner of the hellscape.