THIS CRYSTAL BALL AIN'T SO CRYSTAL CLEAR

Happy National Take Your Dog to Work Day! Sadly, the grinches that operate the office park that houses Boredwalk HQ prohibit animals from being allowed inside the building. Apparently they are not aware that ALL animals are, in fact, emotional support animals. (Yes, even the exotic — which I believe is French for "gross" — ones.)

Here's a spoiler alert: expecting a doggo to properly format a quarterly earnings report will also not end well.

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Before we go further down this rabbit — ahem, doggo — hole, Meredith and I would like to invite those of you who have already ordered (and received) a copy of our Grievance Journal to join us on Instagram Live Saturday (that's tomorrow!) at 7PM Eastern/4PM Pacific for Whine & Wine, wherein we will be broadcasting from the Boredwalk parlor and airing some grievances of our own as we sip on a tasty cabernet! We may kick things off with a brief tour of the office to allow stragglers to join us, but don't dawdle — once we start complaining, there's very little hope of stopping us!

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Moving along, we have a wonderful new podcast episode to delight your earballs with!

Before we get to that, though, let's celebrate some birthdays! Today we're consuming birthday cake in honor of a LOT of people, so I'll try to keep this brief:

• Anti-authoritarian novelist and essayist Eric Arthur "George Orwell" Blair, born this day in 1903!

• Smooth-singing songstress Carly Simon, born this day in 1945!

• Actor, comedian, and Good Times star Jimmie "Dy-no-mite!" Walker, born this day in 1947!

• Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor, born this day in 1954!

• Celebrity chef, author, and travel documentarian Anthony Bourdain, born this day in 1956!

• Actor, comedian, writer, and international treasure Ricky Gervais, born this day in 1961! Fun fact: before he was the scourge of the Wernham Hogg paper company, he was the lead singer of new wave also-rans Seona Dancing. Nice hair, Ricky!

• 80s pop icon George Michael, born this day in 1963!

• Humanitarian and finger-wagging, shot-blocking NBA legend Dikembe Mutumbo, born this day in 1966!

• Another, less-British The Office alum Angela "Crazy Cat Lady" Kinsey, born this day in 1971!

• Actress and neither freak-nor-geek Linda Cardellini, born this day in 1975!

• Actress and definite freak Busy Philipps, born this day in 1979!

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Alright! Podcast time! This week we:

• List a small sampling of the various fake professions Meredith has used when filling out annoying paperwork in doctors' offices, including "stay-at-home werewolf."

• Lament the fact that grown-ass woman and pop icon Britney Spears is being drugged, sterilized, and generally held captive against her will.

• Briefly discuss the general awesomeness of low-budget film legend Roger Corman.

• Read a couple recent customer reviews — possibly yours!

• Read fan responses to the Questions of the Day "what ingredient immediately ruins a dish?" and "what is the nicest thing someone has done for you?" You'll want to check this one out, because hoo boy are there some wild stories in here!

Click to learn all about Meredith's other fake professions!

Looking to save this weekend? Take 10% off orders of $75 or more when you use the code SUMMER10 at checkout. Yay!

Alright! I'll be back here in your inbox next week with (hopefully) a fresh Boredwalk Community Q&A! We'll also have another new podcast episode to share, and maybe another new design! Until then...

Peace, love, and spoilers,

Matt