August 15, 2022

😩 When people ask me what I'm good at...


It's National Failures Day! According to the explainer I read on this occasion, National Failures Day is a day dedicated to examining past failures and using them to help you achieve success.
This is clearly a holiday conceived of by people who aren't the pros at failing that I am. I mostly fail at everything and can assure you that examining past failures isn't terribly helpful, because I will always manage to find new and different ways to fail at things. Guinness should come write an article about me. It's also National Relaxation Day, another thing I tend to fail at, since all that failing is a recipe for 24/7 anxiety. What a treat! Here's hoping success and relaxation come easier for you, though.
"failure... you!" gif
Today should alternately be titled Christmas-for-my-inner-critic!
In case you missed a few recent Boredwalk news highlights:
• Our new dystopia themed activity book is out and you should really get a copy. Did you know the average American adult gets over 7 hours of screen time per day? Give your tired eyeballs a break from the glare and treat yourself to some analog amusement with this new book that is sure to provide hours of entertainment!
• We are having a virtual release party for the aforementioned book tomorrow night (Tuesday August 16th) at 5:30PM Pacific time (that's 8:30PM on the east coast). You can watch on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, or Facebook! Join me, Matt, and Madeleine as we celebrate the new book, sign copies, and do some activities from the book live!
• Finally, if you watch this space regularly you know we deal with constant issues with people stealing our art. We're going on the offensive and taking those art thieves to court. You can help us fund this venture AND watch us spill some behind the scenes tea about the wild exchanges we have with people who steal our art. We are filming our second private video for this series this week and you won't want to miss it. We read a truly unhinged email from an art thief who makes it all about how us shutting down her use of our work has harmed her! These videos are only for people who help us fund our copyright and trademark infringement battles, but the good news is buying a front row seat to the drama is only a dollar. Cheaper than a movie ticket and loaded with wild stories, what a bargain!
Want a few August 15th historical facts and famous birthdays? Of course you do!
• Famous birthdays: actress Jennifer Lawrence (1990), singer/songwriter Joe Jonas (1989), actress Debra Messing (1968), and cooking teacher/TV personality Julia Child (1912)
• On this day in 1939 "The Wizard of Oz" premiered at Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Hollywood
• On this day in 1969 Woodstock Festival opened in Bethel, New York on Max Yasgur's dairy farm
Alright! Scroll on down to learn a bit about fellow Boredwalk fan Marie K.! If you'd like to be featured in an upcoming Monday email (and are a customer with some Boredwalk tees, tanks, hoodies, towels, bags, or books to show off), just reply to this and let us know, and we'll send you some fun questions to answer (along with our undying gratitude)!
We'll be back here in your inbox on Wednesday with some more random holidays to observe, historical tidbits to acknowledge, and fun links to entertaining content! Until next time...
Peace, love, and failure,
Marie looking dazzling with her In Case No One Told You spiral notebook!
1. What's your actual day job and what's your dream day job?
My actual job title is Copyeditor and Proofreader (but I prefer Aggressive Grammarian) for book manuscripts, websites, magazines...whoever wants to pay me to correct their grammar. Which, TBH, is pretty freakin' dreamy on its own. But if I could make a career out of sitting in a little witch-hut on a seaside cliff brooding, crafting comeuppance spells, and suckling at the teat of Lady Vengeance, I'd definitely call that my dream job. I'd even take a pay cut. Hell, I'd do that shit for free.
2. What's your biggest pet peeve?
Slow walkers. Like, bro, do you not feel my hot rage breath right behind you? Get out the damn way. Revenge waits for no one.
3. What's the most useful piece of advice you've ever received?
My mother once told me that most people from Nevada are degenerates. Which was super useful because I immediately went to Nevada to find them.
4. If you could have any super power what would it be and why?
Invisibility, for sure. I'd spend my days pantsing my enemies and making fart noises next to all the "I'd like to speak to the manager" types.
5. You can curse your nemesis with a minor annoyance for eternity; what do you choose?
One single angora hair in the eye. Forever.
6. What experience do you most want to cross off your bucket list?
I want to forge my own battle axe someday.
7. What is something you wish you could go back in time and say to your younger self?
Do not wait until age 44 to take up roller derby.
8. Clear up a misconception (about your job, where you are from, some other topic you know a lot about).
9. Where can the rest of the Boredwalk community find you? 
I'm @mkuipers on Insta, and I occasionally blog about things that enrage me here: