News
Vengeance is on the menu 😈
As you can see above, we got a new design done! It comes in conjunction with another release, which I alluded to last week. If you follow us regularly, you know we are plagued with people constantly stealing our art. While I wish I could unleash a malevolent demon on these people, I am stuck with more practical solutions.
Great, now even the calendar is judging me 😒
When it comes to frivolous National Days I think this one takes the cake (or the Pine-Sol as it were).
Is this the pits or what? 🍑
Peaches are one of the few redeeming things summer has to offer, but honestly SoCal isn't the place to find them. While the produce in my adopted home, Los Angeles, is typically some of the best I've ever had, I've gotta give peach supremacy props to the east coast. Must be something different in the soil there, or maybe it's the insufferably humid weather. Guess I'll just have to be satisfied with our rad nectarines and closer proximity to the source of Rainier cherries when it comes to stone fruit.
Whatever you do, don't mess with this beast 🐯
I am fond of cats to begin with, but what I appreciate about tigers is that they are notoriously vengeful, an impulse I find very relatable.* Tigers are known to methodically and patiently hunt down anyone who crosses them, and who can blame them? Is there anything sweeter than a well-deserved comeuppance?
The only thing I have left:
It's National Crème Brûlée Day! Things are generally wall to wall misery 24/7, but at least there's snacks, amirite? I love crème brûlée; it's the sort of high maintenance dessert I can get behind. If you want that rich silky vanilla delight, topped with the crunch of caramelized sugar, you're gonna need a blowtorch. It's perfect for desserts that are hard to spell properly (due to their many accent marks) AND burning it all to the ground. Talk about temptation!
Vices, but make 'em fancy 🍷
I don't need a national occasion to invite me to stuff my face with wine and snacks. Charcuterie boards are one my favorite things to serve for dinner because they are so quick and easy to throw together, but end up looking classier and more high effort than they really are.
😒 You can keep your Pied Piper...🐀
Happy National Rat Catcher's Day! Surprisingly, Boredwalk does not have a tee design (or other product, for that matter) featuring a rat (yet), so in the spirit of the season I've decided to showcase a design featuring my favorite rat catcher: a cat.
🥠 I don't need a cookie to tell me...
Happy Fortune Cookie Day! Although they are commonly associated with Chinese takeout, the folded cookie originated in Japan. While they are a source of mild amusement, I've never taken much stock in predictions that come from cookies. Besides, I have my own psychic powers that are perfectly reliable. While I can't predict specifics, I can confidently assume things will continue to be terrible.
🤔 Does anyone else...
It's National Get Out of the Dog House Day!
I will be spending my week trying to get out of the "dog house" with all the customers whose orders have been delayed the last two weeks. (Boredwalk co-founder Matt got into what caused this in our Friday email last week.)
Not feeling very LOL-y today.
I know that normally Boredwalk emails are crammed with fun art, amusing GIFs, and somewhat humorous takes on random lesser holidays, celebrity birthdays, and historical events, but not this one. It's late, it's been a long day, and I'm quite tired.
Happiness, by another name...🍟
Happy National French Fry Day! Salty, crispy, starchy, a perfect conveyance for myriad condiments — what's not to love?
🍒 Life is a pop of the cherry...
Happy National Rainier Cherry Day! I know — a Rainier cherry in its natural state is a far cry from one that's been chemically obliterated by Red 40-colored brine, but our Shirley Temple on the Rocks design is the closest thing Boredwalk has to a fit for this occasion. Save us, Luxardo, you're our only hope!