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🦝 You know what they say... 🗑️
Happy National Blueberry Day! And National Chocolate with Almonds Day! And National Freezer Pop Day!
Taking flight this summer? 🛫
Happy National Air Traffic Control Day! Thanks for keeping those birds in the air and far away from one another if you happen to be an air traffic controller. We appreciate your dedication to keeping our airplanes from colliding overhead and raining flaming hot death down upon us.
🪕 Hillbilly opossums. Need we say more? 🐀
While I admit this is presumptuous, it's also logical, since we don't run ads outside of the U.S. and I don't know how you would have discovered Boredwalk otherwise. Astral projection, perhaps?
🎆 How is Boredwalk celebrating July 4th? 🤔
On the one hand, it's nice to have a three day weekend ahead of us. On the other hand, it feels kinda hollow to observe a holiday dedicated to freedom and liberty given the fact that more than half our country's residents had the (apparently very alienable) right to their bodily autonomy stripped from them last week by six people taking their interpretive cues from a book written two thousand years ago by a bunch of flat earthers. Makes total sense.
A very exclusive sneak peek at our new book!
If you don’t receive (or read) our Wednesday emails, you may be wondering what the heck is going on with today’s Boredwalk email. No images? No funny GIFs? Just text and ramblings from some rando named Matt? I know! So weird.
This is kind of a big deal! 🤯
Happy Wednesday! I'll get to our regularly scheduled lists of random observances, celebrity birthdays, and amusing links in just a moment, but first we have a very important update to share with you. How important?
😒 No, I'm not fine...
Ever have those days when you're just like "this can't really be it?" You're stuck in traffic, the cat threw up on your shoes, you woke up with a mysterious shoulder ache that won't go away. It's those days that I start to suspect I've been hexed, forced to live a mundane existence full of workaday drudgery when I should really be living out my sinister fantasies.
🥱 I'm gonna need an extra cup ☕
It feels like it's been forever since I was in the driver's (typer's? writer's?) seat as far as writing Boredwalk "marketing" emails. In reality it's only been a few weeks, but I hope that our fearless co-founder Meredith has kept you in stitches (the fun kind) in my absence.
♾️ Only two things are infinite...
It's Atheist Day! I happen to be one of them, so I guess it's nice we get a day? (Don't worry, if you're worshiping one god — or many of them — I 100% support your choice of faith as long as it's not hurting anyone else.)
It's not my fault! 😇
Blame Someone Else Day occurs on the first Friday the 13th of every year, which is today! This occasion is about not taking accountability, which is actually not a very relatable impulse for me. Maybe it's an oldest child thing, but I'm excellent at taking blame when things go awry and terrible at taking credit when something goes well. As I recently quipped on Twitter, when I get a hire right at work I feel lucky, when I get a hire wrong I feel like an idiot.
The grass is brown and dead on both sides ☠️
It's Grass Is Always Browner on the Other Side of the Fence Day! While I appreciate the low expectations this holiday implies on the surface, when I read more about the impetus for this occasion I realized the intent was to get us to appreciate what we have. Gratitude? Hard pass!
🦈 I can relate to a shark:
It's National Megalodon Day! These massive sharks swam the oceans for 20 million years during the Cenozoic Era. Weighing over 60 tons with mouths 8-11 feet wide, these deep sea denizens were the ultimate in nautical notoriety.